samprez Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 ^ I do the same with emails. I write out all my feelings and frustrations, then delete the emails. It probably seems pointless on the surface, but it really helps to let it all out somewhere instead of keeping jumbled, confused thoughts in your head. Not silly at all. My IC thinks it's great that I do this. I posted elsewhere here that as you do this, the tone of your writing will change. I've gone from protective of her to angry with her. My thinking has changed too. It's a process but reading your own words about this is helpful. Helps me take ownership of my part in this too.
signedin2008 Posted March 13, 2009 Posted March 13, 2009 Wait...is he still married? Meaning...having a wife at home? If so, WHY did you contact him and cheaply offer yourself to him again...and then getting rejected? Am I the only one who think there is something seriously wrong with this poster?
Author lilyr Posted March 13, 2009 Author Posted March 13, 2009 People, I feel fine after that(asking him), I really do! Now that I know there is no chance with him ever again I can finally move on... I'm still sad sometimes and still missing him of course...I deleted everything about him today...I cried... I think the tears were a release-- I was letting go of everything. I 'm not upset with him; he was a nice break from reality. If anything, he taught me what I should expect and hold out for in any other relationship... I've known for quite awhile that things weren't working for us like they had been previously. One of the reasons I kept in contact with him though is because I genuinely like him as a person...I wish him well! Anyway, I know can still be happy...I will be fine...I feel free...
Trimmer Posted March 13, 2009 Posted March 13, 2009 People, I feel fine after that(asking him), I really do! Now that I know there is no chance with him ever again I can finally move on... Well, then, I'm glad to have been wrong. It's good that you've been able to clarify things to move in the right direction. Good luck.
JetCityWoman Posted March 13, 2009 Posted March 13, 2009 I agree with Chrome. What do you want contact with this guy for? He is not available. Shouldn't he be trying to contact you if he is really interested?
jj33 Posted March 13, 2009 Posted March 13, 2009 Lily you did what you felt you needed to do at the time. Now you know. And as OWoman said some people tend to rewrite history after its over. It makes it easier for them to detach. When that happens in a matter of 24 hours its devastating. But as you said its freeing at the same time to know where you stand. And now you do. You know exactly where you stand. The thing is you need to be out of this. So if he comes back at some point in the future, weeks or months from now, you need to be stronger so that you dont go back. Take good care. jj
MichelleS1983 Posted March 14, 2009 Posted March 14, 2009 Do you think I should ask him directly? If that's case I won't have to stress about it anymore! Do you think I should ask him?? JESUS! Don't you have ANY pride at ALL??? Your desperation and lack of dignity are actually embarrassing! ETA - I've since read your subsequent posts where you again swallowed your pride and begged for a morsel from this creep. Now you're claiming you're happy to know the answer is NO (like you didn't know it before) and you'll move forward. I hope you do, but I doubt it.
Author lilyr Posted March 14, 2009 Author Posted March 14, 2009 JESUS! Don't you have ANY pride at ALL??? Your desperation and lack of dignity are actually embarrassing! ETA - I've since read your subsequent posts where you again swallowed your pride and begged for a morsel from this creep. Now you're claiming you're happy to know the answer is NO (like you didn't know it before) and you'll move forward. I hope you do, but I doubt it. I always think its OK to lose your pride over someone you love and not to lose someone you love over your pride... i could just let him go and be miserable.... Anyway I really don't care what you think about me. I know that he won't think that way because he knows me. That's all that matters.
Author lilyr Posted March 14, 2009 Author Posted March 14, 2009 Lily you did what you felt you needed to do at the time. Now you know. And as OWoman said some people tend to rewrite history after its over. It makes it easier for them to detach. When that happens in a matter of 24 hours its devastating. But as you said its freeing at the same time to know where you stand. And now you do. You know exactly where you stand. The thing is you need to be out of this. So if he comes back at some point in the future, weeks or months from now, you need to be stronger so that you dont go back. Take good care. jj Well, you know I really tried... I don't regret at all. I'm glad I did it... It hurts but I know that Little by little he will leave my heart and I will be able to move on. Thank you!
jj33 Posted March 14, 2009 Posted March 14, 2009 He will. And it will be easier because he is not coming back and waffling. He has givn you a clear message now. So cherish what you shared and close the door. Its like any other break up in that way. You sound like you will do just fine.
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