BackonTrack2 Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 long story short, i was in a relationship for about 1.3 months. towartd month 9 things started changing, i sensed it, ignored it. few months later, i deciede i am in love with this girl and going to marry her, turns out she was cheating on me starting around month 9. i attempted to kick her out and break up but couldn't do it, somehow, tables turned she broke up with me and last contact i heard from her was :lies indicating i was harassing her (i was semi) anyway this happen about this time last year, i'm back home, i am no longer addicted/obsessed and have been with about 4 women since then, the last one i am in a semi relationship with. upon coming home, i am starting to wonder what she's up too, i have not heard from the girl in a year, i have no attempted to contact her in the last 8 or 9 months. any thoughts? the standard response is to keep NC, which I am going to do but in all honesty, I really am wondering what she's up too. I don't really want to get back with her or anything, just curious. I guess i'm lieing, in the back of my mind, i want things to be how they once were, in the end she blamed me and said she did nothing wrong. i sort of want to break NC but i'm to scared she'll act weird and distant like we never knew each other, i don't want that, i rather us not talk if she's going to act weird, but i just thought i would post to get some feedback.
Author BackonTrack2 Posted March 11, 2009 Author Posted March 11, 2009 ok back to NC, just had to get that off my chess, been a year, no no nothing, she really moved on, i'm almost there... back to no contact back to the future that life is gone, time to make a new one keep going, love will come again (motivational talk)
northstar1 Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 ok back to NC, just had to get that off my chess, been a year, no no nothing, she really moved on, i'm almost there... back to no contact back to the future that life is gone, time to make a new one keep going, love will come again (motivational talk) A year is a long time, and you are doing well. You have to ask yourself, what would breaking NC at this point do for you? Unless you can come up with a good list of reasons, it will do nothing but perhaps set you back. Keep itup
WiseOne1 Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 I really don't know what to say, I do understand how you feel though, sometimes we just go through moments when we feel like we should try again, or even attempt to make contact. Theres a stage of the healing process that you can't be set back, theres a stage at the healing process that you can talk or see the ex and not be bothered, do you think you've reached that yet?
Surfer Dude Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 Life is a constant cycle of ups and downs, I'm sure you can accept that. At first, when we realize that we'll never see or talk to our exs again, it's a scary thought. Most people are freakin cowards and would rather string people along and be strung along their whole lives, than implement eternal NC and just live in peace. Bro, don't break NC. When a dumpee breaks NC, he just sets himself for another disappointment. She will despise you for it. You've come a long way and you're just having a temporary moment of weakness. In a few days when you feel better, you'll be proud of yourself you didn't contact her.
sedgwick Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 Wait, so you were "semi" harassing her and now you have a "semi" girlfriend? I'd say that if she accused you of harassment the last time you spoke, you're probably better off not contacting her.
Author BackonTrack2 Posted March 12, 2009 Author Posted March 12, 2009 i wasn't harassing her, i replied only when there was contact, the last time anyone in my circle spoke to her (without me knowning) she said a) it was all my fault b) its been over for a year c) i don't know how to communicate d) she's trying to keep the peace e) her boyfriend is 6'2, 215 pounds f) not to tell me they spoke because it would only trigger me prior to all of this, i went mad for about 5 minutes and drove by her house and told her to come outside, she didn't, to recap, her best friend informed me she was cheating, i threw her out on two seperate occasions, fired her 3 times, on 3 different occasions, then she said some **** to really piss me off, then i ended everything, all the while i realize now she was stringing me along, and only wanted to have me there for the money and somehow during the course of the breakup, she turned the tables around on me... we were at that time fighting for power (silly) but thats what happen..... anyhow after that contact i sent off an email calling her a whore, saying she's a cheater, and saying i could of had sex with her best friend, and she tricked me good aka I was a cry baby. Then 100% no contact, that was it 2 weeks later, during my sister graduation at 12:00pm when my whole family was in the car, she calls my cousin, he puts her on speaker phone, she states, i've been emailing/texting/calling and harassing her...... she went one step further and had the police friend contact me that was about 10 months or so ago... to answer your question about harassment... in regards to my contacting the whore. She seemed to know exactly what she was doing and appears she planned this whole thing. In hindsight, I was a fool, I sure was a fool. in the end, i suppose the reason i am still on this is i feel as if, she broke up with me and i feel as if i should of just stuck to my word then none of this would of happen, i feel as if she got the last word, i feel as if she hurt my pride which is why this still bothers me today and i can just sum it up by "how can she do this" but in reality i know why, it was because she wanted more and i didn't give it to her and that decisions is what brought us here today, i just never thought she would cheat on me and i never thought i would of been that messed up to the point where 1 year later, i'm still talking about it to internet people. so in the end, she made her choice, did it the whoring way, detached from me while i'm loving her, built with a new person, used me for money and comfort then finally said **** off, thats how i look at it..... from my vantage point....... (wow, its like she needed me to leave me) eitherway despise is STRONG word, and since i clearly don't know anything i won't even reach out even though at the end of the day, i know what really happen, same with her, but you'll only get truth from me, while you get lies from her but this occured over a year ago, that girl more than likely forgot by now.... and who knows maybe she stop lieing to people, eitherway i'll get there soon... so all i can really say is when my emmotions became messed up, i controlled it partly, and did one crazy thing, ONE, drove by her house (i felt so low) she trashed talk from a distance, never had the courage to say it directly to me or to my face, never, but in the end, and knowing all sides of this female, i don't think she would of made a good partner, something else would of happen and it would of been even worse, what i realize now though is she thought i was a fool, i wasn't a fool, i trusted her blindly. all i know is, she was a corward. but it really didn't matter because she was getting dick from somewhere else and by that point, i was just an ex boyfriend who was still in love with her, but i didn't know.... no one told me and i didn't understand the signs because if i did, it would of never got to this point, so all i can say really is... I learned a great deal on that trial relationship.... enough information for me to never let this happen again. the only thing that i can't really figure out is why did she lie, why did she fake it, why didn't she just leave and the conclusion i came up with is that she wasn't sure what she wanted so she went exploring and made the deicision to give her body to this new person, and she maintain the relationship with me, and told everyone we broke up (except me) and i wasn't paying no attention to her, i was moving forward, getting it together, trying to secure us a life and i did it, i did it, and she started coming back, and her friends became jealous a) she was cheating b) i was a good dude c) i had money and her heart, she was giving it to someone else, slowly and slowly.... and they told on her (why) i don't know and our true colors came out me, obssessed, in love her - blamed me and confused so thats what happen in my eyes, nothing more to ponder over, thats the story as i see it, 1 year later, i still remember, need more time before it goes away this was a tragic relationship, built off lies, maintain by lust, i didn't save it in time. i never cared about that girl. she loved me though.. she was nice... hurt me pretty good.... i am going to remember this for a long time, another 2-3 years. now that the air is clear, she's thinking in her head "thats not what i wanted" so she did what she knew (cheat). and well this is the fall-out. can't blame me, i didn't want it to end.
Author BackonTrack2 Posted March 12, 2009 Author Posted March 12, 2009 Hey guys... That last post, I just had some things on my chest. THank you for the comments and feedback Shoutouts goes out to surferdude, wise0ne and sedgwick. Took a while but I'm finally closing this chapter of my life. 1 year, better late than never. Loveshack gave me allot of support, I hope I was able to pay it back.
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