cek Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/depressrelation.htm Very relevant and important article that I recommend everyone read, especially if you feel you want to end a relationship. Read this first. I only wish I knew how to get my guy to read it. Maybe it would help my perspective "hit home" for him. I would do anything to turn this around. But I digress. If you're in or were in a relationship with a "closed off" person, read this. It might give some more insight as to why he/she acts or acted a certain way. And if you're thinking of ending a relationship with a "closed off" person, definately read this before making any decisions you might later regret.
Author cek Posted March 11, 2009 Author Posted March 11, 2009 Thanks, cek! You're welcome EasyHeart. I really want everyone to see it. Maybe they won't end up in my position. I just wish my guy could see it. I love him so much, and I'd do anything to make this right. I know if I had a second chance, I would do things 100% differently. Help!
wanthimbackwithme Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 So wish I'd found this about 3 weeks ago - guess it's all too late for us now. Don't think I'd be here if I had!
Author cek Posted March 12, 2009 Author Posted March 12, 2009 So wish I'd found this about 3 weeks ago - guess it's all too late for us now. Don't think I'd be here if I had! Does it have to be too late? Can't we send our SO a message or give him/her a call and explain everything? What rule says it has to be over and it's too late to do anything?
Narf Posted March 13, 2009 Posted March 13, 2009 Sorry this might sound very harsh! But yes you suffered depression or are suffering (i have been there too!) But why do you think your sigifcant other should understand and be there when you keep pushing them away... Yes they can try understand what is happening with you but it is not there responsibility to be there and cope with your contant down/negative state...For weeks /months maybe years at a time... It is draining on anyone! Even if they do understand at the end of the day it is your issue and problem and you need to fix it for THEM! Not expect them to fix it or be there unconditionally for you... Now that they have left, you trying to explain why you behaved a certain why can help but at the end of the day you still treated them in a way that hurt them and i think that is what you need to address... Not the reason why you behaved a certain way but take responsibility for your behaviour regardless of the reason and show you are fixing it! That maybe before you couldnt see it but now you can and you hate that you put them trhu it and want to change for the better
Author cek Posted March 13, 2009 Author Posted March 13, 2009 Sorry this might sound very harsh! But yes you suffered depression or are suffering (i have been there too!) But why do you think your sigifcant other should understand and be there when you keep pushing them away... Yes they can try understand what is happening with you but it is not there responsibility to be there and cope with your contant down/negative state...For weeks /months maybe years at a time... It is draining on anyone! Even if they do understand at the end of the day it is your issue and problem and you need to fix it for THEM! Not expect them to fix it or be there unconditionally for you... Now that they have left, you trying to explain why you behaved a certain why can help but at the end of the day you still treated them in a way that hurt them and i think that is what you need to address... Not the reason why you behaved a certain way but take responsibility for your behaviour regardless of the reason and show you are fixing it! That maybe before you couldnt see it but now you can and you hate that you put them trhu it and want to change for the better I have done both of your suggestions. And I never said it was his responsibility. I'm dealing with it myself. But he has experienced the same things, only on a smaller scale, and I would think he can empathize with me, and at least try to understand why I acted that way unintentionally. I've owned up to it, explained how it affected me, and I'm hoping he might someday be able to forgive me and give me a second chance.
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