DollWelch Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 I am attempting at defending myself here -and at the same time, trying to calm myself down simply because I am bewildered at the pin-pointing and misinterpretations. This is the jest of the story. I have a male friend, whom has an online blog and website. From time to time, I visit his blog/website, and read up his posts -and basically, the neat things he discusses online. Other times, he actually sends me some of those posts/links. Sounds legitimate, and free exchange of information. Right? Well to him, it's not. He is labeling me as 'The Stalker' -and thinks, I am stalking him. This is NOT true. I only go to his website, because I enjoy reading his blog/posts. Also, keep in mind, he's had a crush on me. I feel like he is hurting me because he's accusing me of one of the most horrendous acts a person can do to another. I want to cease contact with this man, right now, because of his accusations, misjudgments, and behavior. Tell me: Am I wrong?
The Blue Pill Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 He sounds like an @55wipe. From the information that you gave us, you were only being friendly. Plus, if he's sending you the links, how can you be a stalker? If he's going to act that way, then forget it, it's not worth it. Don't go to his website, don't read his blogs, don't comment on his blogs and wait for him to come to you. If he asks what's up, tell him you "didn't want to be a stalker" so you left him alone. That's what I'd do. No need to stress out over it.
Scum Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 Ah strange. I feel like that isn't the whole story. I want to cease contact with this man, right now, because of his accusations, misjudgments, and behavior.Seems like you have this one figured out. Whats stopping you? Anyway. Move on. If he brings it up again ask him why he doesn't want you to read it if he sends you the links? If its still a problem tell him you will stop. Doesn't matter if you do or not, just tell him you did. If he sends you more links tell him that last time you got in trouble for reading it. Strange...
DarkestDreams Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 Plus, if he's sending you the links, how can you be a stalker? Exactly. So to respond to your original question, no, you're not wrong and you most definitely are not a stalker. If he used to have a crush on you and since it's obvious it didn't lead to anything, he might be a bit bitter about it. Regardless, stop reading his blog and ignore him completely.
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 Stalker? Huh? Any dumbass that posts their entire life on a blog and then gets upset that people read it needs a reality check. Especially if he's sending you the links. How does he know how often you visit it? I think I'd tell him to quit flattering himself and that I was done with his self-absorption and wouldn't be visiting anymore, so please stop emailing me the damn links.
era Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 Certainly not my definition of a 'stalker'...what a weirdo. If he should by chance ask you why you no longer visit his blog/website just say you found it to be dull/boring .
Ocean-Blue Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 Based on what you've written, I wouldn't say this is stalking. Surely he knows that by virtue of having a public blog, anyone can read it, right? Also, he sent you links to his blog. Someone is a little confused. I think he's in denial. He likes (or liked) you and is stroking his ego by telling himself that you are "stalking" him. I would stop contacting him. Tell him once that you are NOT stalking him and you find it sad, pathetic and laughable that he would accuse you of such a thing, considering the above. Then cease all contact with him. Life is too short to waste on whiners like him.
samiam143 Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 Somebody is paranoid! and that somebody isn't you. He's a jerk. Walk away while you're ahead and like they said before, if he asks just simply say you didn't want to be a "stalker". He's lame
Taramere Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 I have a male friend, whom has an online blog and website. From time to time, I visit his blog/website, and read up his posts -and basically, the neat things he discusses online. Other times, he actually sends me some of those posts/links. Sounds legitimate, and free exchange of information. Right? Well to him, it's not. He is labeling me as 'The Stalker' -and thinks, I am stalking him. This is NOT true. I only go to his website, because I enjoy reading his blog/posts. Also, keep in mind, he's had a crush on me. This guy sounds like the male equivalent of a woman who gets her boobs done, puts on a wonderbra and a low-cut top bearing the slogan "I wish these were brains", visits the most notorious meatmarket in town and then complains about "sex-crazed perverts" looking at her cleavage the moment a man comments on the t-shirt slogan. Does he have a facility for readers to leave comments on his blog?
serial muse Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 Sounds like his calling you The Stalker is really just wishful thinking. He'd love to think you were stalking him; it's a big old ego stroke. Particularly since he had (has?) a crush on you. Sounds like he's teasing you in kind of a nasty way. Easy answer - simply say, "Okay, I'm happy to cease and desist by no longer reading your blog or talking to you in any way. Tootles."
missdependant Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 Anything you put on the internet, publicly is free game for whoever wants to read it, whenever they want to read it. So no, hun... unless you're checking up on him obsessively (like every chance you get.. to the point you know EVERY detail about him), I wouldn't say you're a stalker.
Gold Pile Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 If he knows how many times per day that you check into his posts, and that number is high...like 35 times a day, then maybe something is rotten in Denmark.
Author DollWelch Posted March 11, 2009 Author Posted March 11, 2009 You are all right. I just panicked at the thought of him labeling me in that fashion; it's incredibly rude, and bashful. Seems like you have this one figured out. Whats stopping you? What's stopping me? The idea that he's a good friend, and I don't really want to lose this friendship. I like having this level of seeing eye-to-eye in a friendship; an awkward one at that; but some of the time, I doubt the validity of his sanity. Does he have a facility for readers to leave comments on his blog? Yes. Of course. He has a comment feature -and what is absurd about all this is the fact that he encourages me to leave a comment on his blogs/websites. But I don't. He likes when I give input on certain posts -and if it wasn't for my kind advice, he wouldn't have started such a thing. So, in essence, he got inspiration from me. Yet, this is how he treats me. There is something that irks me about him -and it's the idea that he imposes certain ideas/issue onto me, thinking he could change me and my ways. It's as though he wants to change who I am -so that I may be part of "his side" so to speak. I don't like this at all, and have told him several times to stop doing it. From the looks of things, it does sound like he's forcefully trying to figure out my every detail in my personal life (so that I may turn a corner), in a controlling manner. So, as you can see, this doesn't sit well with me but most of the time, I let it go. I intend to stop visiting his blogs and websites from now on. Not only that, but I'm going to keep contact very minimal. Oh -and he continuously hints at his crush towards me, somehow tying it into conversations. I find it annoying. He has a habit of constantly complimenting me, which has been getting old up until recently -and he's famous for doing the same to other women. How do I know I'm not getting played here? Womanizer? If he tries to ask about all this: What do I say?
2sure Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 Ive got a question/thought. He likes you, crushes on you, seeks out your input. He knows you visit his site, and has asked you to leave comments, and you do not. Could it be that the "stalker" title he has imposed is simply his way of teasing you about visiting the site and not leaving comments?
Trimmer Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 If he tries to ask about all this: What do I say? "Your accusation of stalking makes me very uncomfortable, because nothing could be farther from the truth, so I need to put a little more distance between us to become comfortable again..." Something like that. What's stopping me? The idea that he's a good friend, and I don't really want to lose this friendship. I like having this level of seeing eye-to-eye in a friendship; ...well, it sounds good as far as that goes, but then everything else doesn't sound so much like the makings of a good friendship: ...an awkward one at that; but some of the time, I doubt the validity of his sanity. So, in essence, he got inspiration from me. Yet, this is how he treats me. There is something that irks me about him -and it's the idea that he imposes certain ideas/issue onto me, thinking he could change me and my ways. It's as though he wants to change who I am -so that I may be part of "his side" so to speak. I don't like this at all, and have told him several times to stop doing it. From the looks of things, it does sound like he's forcefully trying to figure out my every detail in my personal life (so that I may turn a corner), in a controlling manner. Oh -and he continuously hints at his crush towards me, somehow tying it into conversations. I find it annoying. He has a habit of constantly complimenting me, which has been getting old up until recently -and he's famous for doing the same to other women. How do I know I'm not getting played here? Womanizer? Yikes! With a friend like that, who needs enemies?
bean1 Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 This all sounds fairly childish. There's a couple things in all of this that don't add up, but I guess that is expected. Look, if he makes you upset, and he gets upset that you look at his webpage, then what kind of friendship do you have? Friends like to talk to you, learn about you, have you learn about them, and support you. This isn't a friendship!! Can't you just call him and talk about the situation?
whichwayisup Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 Other times, he actually sends me some of those posts/links. Then how are you stalking him if he's sending you links and posts? He's asking for you to check out his blog.
moman Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 Yeah, this guy sounds like a real winner. You are not a stalker.
Author DollWelch Posted March 30, 2009 Author Posted March 30, 2009 I am, even more, puzzled at how this situation is unfolding right now. Then how are you stalking him if he's sending you links and posts? He's asking for you to check out his blog. Exactly. I used to check out his blogs in the last couple of months. But not anymore; I have stopped altogether. Update: I haven't heard a word from him in the last 2+ weeks. Why? I am very tempted to make contact with him about this entire situation -BUT- if I do, I'm afraid I'll look desperate/stalker-ish which will only make me look bad in this situation. Is it possible he's excessively busy? Or Something awful happened to him, and he no longer can communicate with me? This is all beyond me. As insane as that might sound, I would like to continue talking/getting to know him. What should I do?
tkgirl Posted March 30, 2009 Posted March 30, 2009 Exactly. I used to check out his blogs in the last couple of months. But not anymore; I have stopped altogether. Update: I haven't heard a word from him in the last 2+ weeks. Why? because you did stop looking at his blog! why would you even want to be friends with a narcisisstic control freak like this guy? he sounds like a creep...
Recommended Posts