Author Lost_2009 Posted March 12, 2009 Author Posted March 12, 2009 Boxing, I am really sorry for your friend. This is the type of people who are giving us all the bad name. I f******* hate such Indians.
Author Lost_2009 Posted March 12, 2009 Author Posted March 12, 2009 i know many white american women married to desi guys. the thing is that those desi guys are usually tall, fair or medium skinned, educated and have a good job. i myself pretty much exclusively date american birds and i've had no problem as i fall in the above category. now a typical asexual and non-masculine desi dude who is dark and 5'5" and drives a taxi may have some problems. i.e. if he fits the typical stereotype That's good to know. But then it's probably coz you are in Chicago. What do you mean by "asexual and non-masculine"?
prettybaby Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 I didn't read all 4 pages, but for me it's the accent that kills it. No offense.
Author Lost_2009 Posted March 12, 2009 Author Posted March 12, 2009 I didn't read all 4 pages, but for me it's the accent that kills it. No offense. I am not offended at all. Thanks for being honest. But I don't think this is a problem with me 'coz I know I really don't have much of an accent - fed with too much American crap (TV/movies etc. etc.) since childhood and copied their accent since when I was a little kid. lol.
prettybaby Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 Do you also wiggle your head instead of nodding? I'm guessing you don't, but if you do, it's something you might want to suppress. It's not the sexiest thing on earth Other than that, I can't really see why you'd be doomed to failure with girls. Unless you're short and skinny and super dark with a little mustache and big 70's glasses, because that's not sexy either.
Author Lost_2009 Posted March 12, 2009 Author Posted March 12, 2009 I didn't read all 4 pages, but for me it's the accent that kills it. No offense. Do you also wiggle your head instead of nodding? I'm guessing you don't, but if you do, it's something you might want to suppress. It's not the sexiest thing on earth Other than that, I can't really see why you'd be doomed to failure with girls. Unless you're short and skinny and super dark with a little mustache and big 70's glasses, because that's not sexy either. Nope. No wiggly-giggly here. lol. I am short though. I am 5'6" and that would be considered short I guess. You know what once I asked out a girl who is 5'11". lol. She didn't accept but it felt weird for a second and I had second thoughts before I did it.
gwynieatpain Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 Well I'm not sure about being Americanized. Truth is, my Indian yoga instructors are all SOOOOOO HOTTTTTT- having thick accent, healthy tanned skin, and a nice body you can die for (well .. some of them wear purfume too). They are all very funny and flirty I find that it's another incentive for going to the classes. I'm only a 1/8 white maybe my views shouldn't be counted.
boxing123 Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 Nope. No wiggly-giggly here. lol. I am short though. I am 5'6" and that would be considered short I guess. You know what once I asked out a girl who is 5'11". lol. She didn't accept but it felt weird for a second and I had second thoughts before I did it. Well all men whom are 5 ft 6 have a tough time..That's more of the problem, not your race. I can tell you that many women actually think Indian guys are sexy. I hear them talking about the CNN doctor(Gupta) or Kashkari(spelling)..
Author Lost_2009 Posted March 12, 2009 Author Posted March 12, 2009 Well all men whom are 5 ft 6 have a tough time..That's more of the problem, not your race. I see. Hmm. I guess I should keep an eye out for 5 ft and under beauties then. lol.
boxing123 Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 And many women are simply odd, or at least seem odd to me. They look at thing we do not. Small things. Bad shoes might be a deal breaker from the start. So large things, especially like an entire different race, culture, or religion would be a deal breaker. Many women also subconsciously are attracted to men that remind them of their father. Someone of a different race/religion might not fit that mold. I am in the South, and many women want a very religious guy. A church goer. I do not attend church. For many that is a deal breaker. I could only imagine them assuming I am Muslim or Hindu..
Author Lost_2009 Posted March 12, 2009 Author Posted March 12, 2009 And many women are simply odd, or at least seem odd to me. They look at thing we do not. Small things. Bad shoes might be a deal breaker from the start. So large things, especially like an entire different race, culture, or religion would be a deal breaker. Many women also subconsciously are attracted to men that remind them of their father. Someone of a different race/religion might not fit that mold. I am in the South, and many women want a very religious guy. A church goer. I do not attend church. For many that is a deal breaker. I could only imagine them assuming I am Muslim or Hindu.. Dude you gotta listen to this. So once I was sitting and chatting with a few strangers at a lawn. One of their friends, a girl, came and sat with them and after sometime she was leaving and told me if I wanna come to a listen to a christian band performance where she was going right from there. Religion is the last thing that goes on in my mind but anyway I was alright with it and went with her. Oh god. That was a mistake. The whole faith thing felt funny to me. People praying in the middle of a band performance. She could see that I was feeling weirded out. She told me if I want to leave I can there is no obligation. I left soon after. lol. Yeah man I am in the south too. I have faced the problem with religion too. My parents are hindus but I am not religious and religion looks kinda funny to me. I can't help it.
alphamale Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 What do you mean by "asexual and non-masculine"? nerdy indian guys
Author Lost_2009 Posted March 12, 2009 Author Posted March 12, 2009 nerdy indian guys I am really far from being a nerd. I wish I were a bit more nerdy though it would have helped me in getting a few more A's. lol. But yeah I am short - 5'6".
allina Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 i know many white american women married to desi guys. the thing is that those desi guys are usually tall, fair or medium skinned, educated and have a good job. Interesting. True. And makes me feel like a stereotype
fishtaco Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 Yongyoung mentioned that when in Rome, do what the Romans do. Really that's what you need to do. You don't have to give up your culture, but you want other Indians to think you're white-washed. If you can accomplish that, you're one step closer. Seem like you already don't have some of the negative Indian traits. If you want to get rid of the accent, go to a speech class. Community colleges should have that. I have a friend from Mexico that goes to classes like that. Her English and her accent has improved drastically. I don't mean an ESL class, your English from your posts seems pretty fluent, but a speech class that focuses on pronunciation. Also, you're considered short by American standards. That would be more of a drawback than your Indian ethnicity. Remember, you're not competing against Indian guys, you're now competing against American guys. Luckily, you can make up for it by being athletic. Go work out. At the very least beat your own BMI. By that I mean according to your BMI you are overweight, but really you have 10% body fat. Don't look like a body builder, only small percentage of women are into that. But if you look muscular like an athlete, and sport a six-pack, 90% of the women will be into that. Then get really good at a hobby. Maybe a sport. And you need to have better game than someone that's taller. That comes with socializing with your target group. If you want to get a white beach girl, go hang out with a bunch of white beach people. You probably won't have very good luck with Asian women. As someone mentioned, South Asians don't like each other. The "major" Asian races also consider Indians "inferior". I'm sure you know that already. Every country need to have someone they're racist against. Unfortunate, but inevitable. But maybe you can try Hispanic women. They're quite lovely.
yongyong Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 Another advice, it's like a number game just like sales. If you have a crush on fine white girl and just focus on that girl, your chances will be very limited (sniper approach) you need to hit on as many women as you can wherever you go (shot gun approach) I've gotten so many # by doing that. but many girls flaked out. Guess what kind of girl I could meet for the date? They usually had asian ex, their cousin were dating asian, visited asia. Here is the example, Why do you think people stick to the same type of restaurant? well if I taste really nice indian food because my friend invited me there, I would go to that restaurant like me going to asian restaurant. (my perception would be changed) But the fact is that people are afraid to try new things ('what if food is not good', 'I might end up wasting money' , 'I don't know what to get) So they just prefer to stick to the ones they are comfortable with You can meet a girl who never dated your race and change her view but that's gotta be very hard. So your job is go out there, hit on many girls possibly you can who might dated your own race, has a fascination for your culture or, happens to be adventurous and open minded. and remember, when you talk to a girl, it's like a job interview or sales presentation. If you get nervous little bit or mess up some grammar, you can't be sold lol American girls are so caught up with those cocky 'confidence' they won't care how sweet heart you have, nice you are. You will be categorized as 'that creepy guy', if you are not smooth enough. again, All you can do is go out practice, mingle with women. I don't care if it's kind of bad thing to flirt with women on street in your culture, it's not india here.
Author Lost_2009 Posted March 21, 2009 Author Posted March 21, 2009 So what are the places where it's okay to approach and what are not? Also is it alright to approach out of the blue as you say?
collegekid491 Posted March 21, 2009 Posted March 21, 2009 I know for myself, I probably wouldn't date a indian female, not because of looks or anything, but cultural differences. People generally like to find someone with a similar lifestyle. While I realize that not all East Indians have a strong cultural tie (I'm a mennonite, lol, I look nothing like most and I generally don't fall into their realm of thought), so its not something set in stone. Also worth noting, alot of peoples views on a culture is based largely on media and past experiences with it. My sister will no longer eat chinese food because she once lived with a chinese guy, not all chinese are unsanitary like him, but it just left an impression on her.
Author Lost_2009 Posted March 21, 2009 Author Posted March 21, 2009 Okay. That's your preference but can you help me with the places where it's okay to approach and where it's not? Also is it alright to approach out of the blue?
Holding-On Posted March 21, 2009 Posted March 21, 2009 OMG I feel so ashamed to be an Indian if this is the perspective the women here have. No wonder they don't even consider me as a datable material. The government should hang/electrocute them for treason (yeah it's a treason against ethnicity). um... brutally honest? the true paranoia and prejuidice?? man I can't believe I'm going to post this but strictly speaking truthfully here see I'm from Vancouver too and my conversations with Indian men were frankly a bit off putting - Pakistani men... forget it! It didn't really ever seem that women were quite human. But this is only the dozen or so Pakistani men I ever had the chance to talk to. So there is this feeling that any North Americanization is all a front or a fad and in the end you will have only been a toy. And a spit upon one at that. So.. pass. The culture as portrayed by these men does not come across as respectful of women. Have only had good experiences with Indian women though, interestingly enough. Talking strictly about first generation here, just to be clear. In my science classes everyone tutored with everyone else but Indian people kept to themselves. Black, Asian, White, we're all a pathetic bunch together cramming for the exam.. but no Indian guy ever asked me for my opinion on anything about school work or acted like I had good ideas. (and I got the top calculus score in my class). So it was like because I'm white and a female I had no brains or something.
Author Lost_2009 Posted March 21, 2009 Author Posted March 21, 2009 India and Pakistan are completely different w.r.t culture. Funny that you just extrapolated Indians from Pakistanis. I would have accepted whatever you had to say if those were Indians. But Pakistan is more like Afghanistan not India, just so that you know. And it's plain sad that I have to live with so much misunderstanding. I myself respect women. I don't care what some Pakistanis say. Edit: Ever thought that they may have felt uncomfortable? Most Indian students you are talking about keep to themselves because they feel uncomfortable - not because they think that you don't have good ideas. Most of them are kinda shy and would talk to you if you start but wouln't initiate because they can't get outside their comfort zone.
Holding-On Posted March 21, 2009 Posted March 21, 2009 I do know that. It is my understanding that Pakistan and Afghanistan were once part of India and then achieved independence or were cut up into countries (depending on whom you speak with). If I didn't see a difference I would not have used both terms in my sentence. However this is like saying that Canadians and Americans are different. Yes, they are but there are many similarities and culture ties too. I had friendly Indian female acquaintances, classmates and lab partners. I could form teams and lab groups with them. Felt quite included. The jibe from Indian men was quite different which is why I used the term off-putting. If I had to go live in India Pakistan or Afghanistan of course I would love to live in India!
Author Lost_2009 Posted March 21, 2009 Author Posted March 21, 2009 I don't know why that happened to you. I would assume your case as unique because I haven't seen such cases here and I can normally mix well with all people. Afghanistan was never a part of India. Also the difference between India and Pakistan is a lot more than US and Canada. US and Canada has almost everything same but if you consider India and Pakistan then you have to understand that Pakistan is a Theocratic Islamic State which has been mostly under dictatorship - completely different from India which is secular and democratic. I am not siding with the bad guys - mind you. If you have read through my replies you must have seen that. But I think the Indian guys you talked to are just plain bad. You know sometimes there are groups of guys who are all jerks - that's what happened. Those guys are like that. Had you met some other guys you would have formed a different opinion.
yongyong Posted March 21, 2009 Posted March 21, 2009 you can approach anywhere. but be aware that your chances will be very limited if you are trying to hit on girls at the club. you should aim girls that are at your level. (no high school diploma cashier, server etc) If you noticed, you don't see any asian guys with ghetto white girls. so try to talk to girls at the campus, coffee shops, library, book store. again, get a white guy friend and stay with him. I repeat 'get a white friends' So what are the places where it's okay to approach and what are not? Also is it alright to approach out of the blue as you say?
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