Author Lost_2009 Posted March 11, 2009 Author Posted March 11, 2009 Sure PinkKittyKat. I am moving to Vancouver and I got a big nose for you when you and you bf break - up (that's was meant to be a joke in case you find it offensive. lol). But it's really nice to know that there are some girls out there who are so much into diversity as me. It's the way to go.
Author Lost_2009 Posted March 11, 2009 Author Posted March 11, 2009 Yeah SoulSearch. That sex talk thing is not an Indian thing. I would definitely say he was a weirdo. haha. I mean who in their sensible mind does that. I am sure it's some old pot-bellied loser dude who got a chance to be in US on some fraud Visa. lol. I am far from that type. Oh whatever. There maybe an Indian in Heroes but Lost is the best TV show out there. If you have never watched it or stopped watching coz you found that it's not moving fast enough-it has all changed in season 5. And it's gonna end in Season 6. (Yeah i know abc should pay me for this plug-in of Lost).
PinkKittyKat Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 Sure PinkKittyKat. I am moving to Vancouver and I got a big nose for you when you and you bf break - up (that's was meant to be a joke in case you find it offensive. lol). But it's really nice to know that there are some girls out there who are so much into diversity as me. It's the way to go. Hahaha no not offended LOL. I'm a cool chick. You seem pretty awesome, hope you stick around on LS. Good luck with the ladies.
Ocean-Blue Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 I've had positive and negative experiences with Indian guys. I hate to say this, but some of the ones I've met are incredibly obnoxious, sexist and disgusting! They have this sense of entitlement that rubs me the wrong way. However, I have met some really nice Indian guys. They aren't arrogant, nor do they smell. You can't make generalizations about anyone, including Indian men. Some suck and some don't. The biggest qualm I have with some of the losers I've met is that they are way too intense.
Author Lost_2009 Posted March 11, 2009 Author Posted March 11, 2009 Thanks PinkKittyKat. I sure hope so. lol
Author Lost_2009 Posted March 11, 2009 Author Posted March 11, 2009 I am sorry Ocean-Blue. There are lot of Indian guys who actually understand how some douche Indians taint the whole ethnicity. But you know the bad part. It's too difficult to change the perspective of the type of Indians you are talking about and hell worse, they stick together. i guess people like that are there in all ethnicity and I sure acknowledge the presence of such useless pieces of crap in Indian ethnicity. I wish they weren't there to add to the already massive amount of stereotypes us Indians have to deal with.
Ocean-Blue Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 I am sorry Ocean-Blue. There are lot of Indian guys who actually understand how some douche Indians taint the whole ethnicity. But you know the bad part. It's too difficult to change the perspective of the type of Indians you are talking about and hell worse, they stick together. i guess people like that are there in all ethnicity and I sure acknowledge the presence of such useless pieces of crap in Indian ethnicity. I wish they weren't there to add to the already massive amount of stereotypes us Indians have to deal with. Lost, I might have a bit of a different perspective simply because I too am South Asian, though not Indian. You know how it is, right? There is all this weird tension between different South Asians. Maybe that's a part of it? I dunno... I grew up here and my sensibilities are different from theirs. I find the arrogance to be the most annoying. There is a sense of entitlement there with some of them. This I can't stand. I used to waitress before, and some of those guys are total jerks! They treat you like you are their little servant, at their beck and call! On a few occasions, when I was a patron at a restaurant, I noticed some of these guys be incredibly rude to the wait staff. They will send food back, ask to speak to the chef, even talk down to the servers! None of that is acceptable. As for the smell. It's the cooking. The oil sticks to people's clothes and hair. But for the love of God, take a damn shower! There's a difference between curry cling and BO. That said, I know of many Indian guys who are sweet and thoughtful. The biggest difference is that they either grew up here or come from families who emphasized the importance of respect. My cousin married an Indian and he's a really decent, cool guy. People like him aren't the exception to the rule. You're very right in that a few rotten apples spoil the reputation of an entire group. Some of the most sought after guys I know are really educated, good looking Indian guys.
Author Lost_2009 Posted March 11, 2009 Author Posted March 11, 2009 I know what you are talking about. Two good things I learnt from my family are: 1. People in my family respect everyone no matter what he/she does. 2. They don't care about race at all and are not judging if I am dating white/black/ asian/ indian/hispanic/native american. While this may seem to be ordinary to folks here but I sure realize that being an Indian family they must have been really progressive minded to be like that. Simply put my family is awesome for giving me so much independence since I was like 5-6 yo and inculcating calues and etiquette at the same time.
Ocean-Blue Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 So long as you respect people, you shouldn't have a problem. Obviously, people are entitled to like whomever they wish. There is no sense in trying get someone who isn't attracted to you. It's a waste of time. Honestly, just be the best person you can be. Always be true to yourself and the rest will follow. If some girl falls for you, then she does. If she doesn't, don't waste your time trying to figure out why. I've realized that chemistry and attraction are things that are either there or they aren't.
Author Lost_2009 Posted March 11, 2009 Author Posted March 11, 2009 Well it sure doesn't seem that simple for whatever reason. haha. That almost sounds like some Zen philosophy or something.
Ocean-Blue Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 When you date someone, you eventually get to see the real person. Sure, we all put up fronts at the beginning (or some of us do), but at the end, you relax and become comfortable and shed your outer skin...revealing who you really are. What is the point of pretending by taking on short-term characteristics and traits if they aren't reflective of who you really are? Not everyone is going to like you. That's just the way it is. So why waste your time trying to figure it out? I mean, if you have some major personality flaws, then that's different. What you're asking deals with why some people are simply not attracted to a group of people. They just aren't. Trying to change yourself, so that they will, is an exercise in futility.
Author Lost_2009 Posted March 11, 2009 Author Posted March 11, 2009 Assimilation is not an exercise in futility. The whole success is in trying to assimilate. It's not pretending to be someone it's about transformation. We all transform with time.
Ocean-Blue Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 If you want to assimilate, it takes time. It's harder when you're older. So you're looking to become more Americanized, am I right?
Author Lost_2009 Posted March 11, 2009 Author Posted March 11, 2009 I don't think I have lost my ability to assimilate yet. Coz I don't even think the way I used to think back in 2007. Hell I am a lot different from what I was even in beginning of Fall 2008.
Ocean-Blue Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 Well that's good, if assimilation is your goal. What exactly do you want to change about yourself? How have you changed? Why do you want to change? Just some questions to consider.
Author Lost_2009 Posted March 11, 2009 Author Posted March 11, 2009 What do I want to change? Haha. It all started with the typical IT guys the other posters were talking about. They live within their small community. Rarely talk/interact with diverse ethnic group. I already crossed all those barriers. But still have a long way to go. How have I changed? Changed bits and pieces here and there in perspective and way of doing things and it got stuck with me over time. For some reason I am still really mold able. haha Why? Coz I am probably going to stay here in the US rest of my life and sure as hell don't want to one of those community guys.
Author Lost_2009 Posted March 11, 2009 Author Posted March 11, 2009 I am back from school and saw that there has been a lot of activity on the forum throughout the day. . Any more new thoughts from anyone else on my problem? I am sure there are lot more people online now than there was late last night.
bean1 Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 I'm from Vancouver and I'd have to say that there is a lot of animosity against white women who date Indian men. There is a belief that a lot of Indian men just look upon white women as sex objects and ultimately would never actually bring a white girl home to meet the family. There's also the belief that Indian men are likely to beat or dominate their women. It's not unusual here (Vancouver, Surrey) to see an Indian woman sitting in the backseat of the car even though there's nobody sitting upfront with the husband. That's a common belief held among white women regarding Indian men. I'm not saying it's true, but that's just a perspective to consider when wondering why white women aren't as receptive to dating Indian men.
allina Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 My bf of over 2.5 years is Indian, so obviously I don't have an issue dating Indian guys. However my SO was born in London and came to the US as a young child so it's a bit of a different situation. I think the issue many American women have with Indian guys or any FOB men from a culture that they perceive as very different that they just can't envision a relationship with them. It's a barrier.
Author Lost_2009 Posted March 11, 2009 Author Posted March 11, 2009 I'm from Vancouver and I'd have to say that there is a lot of animosity against white women who date Indian men. There is a belief that a lot of Indian men just look upon white women as sex objects and ultimately would never actually bring a white girl home to meet the family. There's also the belief that Indian men are likely to beat or dominate their women. It's not unusual here (Vancouver, Surrey) to see an Indian woman sitting in the backseat of the car even though there's nobody sitting upfront with the husband. That's a common belief held among white women regarding Indian men. I'm not saying it's true, but that's just a perspective to consider when wondering why white women aren't as receptive to dating Indian men. OMG I feel so ashamed to be an Indian if this is the perspective the women here have. No wonder they don't even consider me as a datable material. The government should hang/electrocute them for treason (yeah it's a treason against ethnicity).
bean1 Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 OMG I feel so ashamed to be an Indian if this is the perspective the women here have. No wonder they don't even consider me as a datable material. The government should hang/electrocute them for treason (yeah it's a treason against ethnicity). Well, there are plenty of women who do not think that! I don't think it's any different then an average white woman in the United States who feels the same way about dating a black man (in Vancouver, most people are either white, Chinese, or Indian, so that is generally the focus of stereotypes as well). If there were a larger minority of black men out here, I'm sure the same thing would be said against those men. It's all fear based on stereotypes and isolated incidents (ie. honour killings in the newspapers). Just keep trying, I'm sure you will find a girl that is open-minded!
Author Lost_2009 Posted March 11, 2009 Author Posted March 11, 2009 Just keep trying, I'm sure you will find a girl that is open-minded! Well I hope that's how it turns out. But seriously these people should be punished to full extent even if not capital punishment.
Alan430 Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 I agree with yong yong, You need to be more americanized overall. indian Culture is not a sexy one to american women. I am part asian and alot of women do not see asian race as sexy either. I work with alot of indian folks myself. Some can be very crismatic but as someone said ealier can and are usually very shy. The traditional indian accent tends to be more humours, however i did know a very hot spanish banker that was married to an indian man with the full on accent. Also i think there is alot to over come, such the perception of how indian men treat their wives, Frugality of the indian culture, hygein, and loose the curry. I love it myself, but if you eat too much it will start leaking from your pores. If you are at a university then your best chance to get with a white girls is to get in with their group of friends, once you have been accepted and have gotten the stamp of approval, things will probably be easier.
boxing123 Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 Wait a second.... I have a friend that dated an Indian guy. I actually suggested she should not. But she did anyway. What happened? Well she was basically used for sex, because the Indian guy knew all along he was going to get fixed up with an Indian girl. Their relationship was basically a secret to his family, and his mother often made remarks like "I sure hope my son never gets involved with an American woman." If I go to India, I DOUBT many Indian families will want me sleeping with their daughters. But for some reason foreigners from more inclusive cultures come to the USA and expect nothing but open arms from the white American ladies.
alphamale Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 I have seen a strange thing and that is white American girls usually (like say 99% times) would not date an Indian guy. i know many white american women married to desi guys. the thing is that those desi guys are usually tall, fair or medium skinned, educated and have a good job. i myself pretty much exclusively date american birds and i've had no problem as i fall in the above category. now a typical asexual and non-masculine desi dude who is dark and 5'5" and drives a taxi may have some problems. i.e. if he fits the typical stereotype
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