OneFootOut Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 Well, the husband moved out with his issues Feb 23rd. He said he needed space so he could overcome his demons, and fix himself so he could help fix us. He kept telling me he loved me and didn't want to be without me. He was committed to counseling, both for his own issues and together for our marital issues. Well.. it finally came down to a talk last night. He told me he would never be able to fix the things inside himself. He said it wasn't fair to keep hurting me and dragging this out any longer than it has been. I think what he was saying was that he isn't ready or willing to seek any help for his inner demons and doesn't want to face down the trauma of his past. So he gave up before he got started. We are divorcing. The decision is final, and though it is not a shock, it still hurts. I know it is the best thing to do for all of us, because as soon as that was out on the table, it seems like all the black clouds and stress lifted. We both feel relieved that the endless limbo is over now. We still have to wait the year and a day, even though we are both in complete agreement to do this. There are absolutely no custody or support issues. We live close and are the greatest of friends, we will continue to raise the kids together and both be there on a daily basis in their lives, just as we both always have been. Neither of us is supporting the other, or taking things from the other, We're in the process of helping each other get on our own feet and get our individual lives established. So.. here I am. Alone again. This one didn't beat on me, cheat on me, or steal from me, but he just wasn't capable of loving me. I don't know which is worse really. Its going to be a cold day in hell before I put my trust, faith, and steadfast loyalty in another relationship. I'm DONE.
Chrome Barracuda Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 Good, then let the coward run off and pray for his next victim. You do deserve better. Some people dont feel worthy of the love that's given to them and they subciously ruin it.
Author OneFootOut Posted March 12, 2009 Author Posted March 12, 2009 Thank you Edna.. I did very much want it to work out. I just wanted him to wake up and get help for his problems that were keeping him so cut off and distant from me. What really angered and hurt me so badly through this was that when he finally acknowledged the problems and finally started communicating after all these years.. he left faster than lightning strikes. I feel like he could have and should have given me at least a little effort after all the time and effort I have given him. He just couldn't though. I can't hold that against him, and I'm over the emotional junk now.. most of it anyway lol. We're more comfortable being around each other now, so it's all good. Oh well. Life teaches lessons in strange ways. I truly believe we will have a better, more open and honest relationship as 'just friends' rather than mates.
imagine Posted March 13, 2009 Posted March 13, 2009 I hope that you will get a better deal. I hope that you will take your experiences to form a decent life. God bless you during this difficult time.
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