Joker77 Posted March 10, 2009 Posted March 10, 2009 Mutual friend of me and the ex starts talking about her today. Somehow, she brings up how our breakup went down. Of course, I start talking about it. Never really knew the truth until today. I already know she's dating someone else. The friend tells me that the ex basically woke up one day and realized she didn't want to be in the relationship anymore. Don't know why, but it really ate at me and hit a chord. I guess the positive that I can take out of it is that it motivates me not to ever get into a situation like that again. I still think she was emotionally/physically cheating on me or both. I don't know and of course the mutual friend is going to deny it. I just don't buy that someone else wasn't waiting in the wings. Oh well. Just ticks me off that I had a gut feeling she was disconnected and kept buying her "everything is ok" b.s. and should have ended it when I felt like things were going downhill.
The Blue Pill Posted March 10, 2009 Posted March 10, 2009 If she had a new mate so quickly after the breakup, of course it was intended. Whether it was physical or if she was mentally prepared for it doesn't really matter. She wanted someone else. When a girl genuinely ends a relationship for her own reasons, she stays single for a few months at least. If she has someone new within a month, then it was probably planned ahead of time.
Author Joker77 Posted March 10, 2009 Author Posted March 10, 2009 If she had a new mate so quickly after the breakup, of course it was intended. Whether it was physical or if she was mentally prepared for it doesn't really matter. She wanted someone else. When a girl genuinely ends a relationship for her own reasons, she stays single for a few months at least. If she has someone new within a month, then it was probably planned ahead of time. That's why I believe stuff was planned but she was just very careful about it. I just feel so stupid for believing her. Won't be fooled again.
gypsywoman Posted March 10, 2009 Posted March 10, 2009 It's definitely a bummer when you realize that some people have the audacity to want everything and at your emotional expense. She sounds like she definitely needs better communication and no props on her part for jumping so soon after into another relationship when she can't learn that. Being held hostage by emotions sucks, but it's always how you rise after the fall... she's not here now and there's a reason for me... more amazing woman out there for you. trust.
Author Joker77 Posted March 10, 2009 Author Posted March 10, 2009 It's definitely a bummer when you realize that some people have the audacity to want everything and at your emotional expense. She sounds like she definitely needs better communication and no props on her part for jumping so soon after into another relationship when she can't learn that. Being held hostage by emotions sucks, but it's always how you rise after the fall... she's not here now and there's a reason for me... more amazing woman out there for you. trust. Trust will be a huge issue for me from here on out. It seems like for the past 7 years, I have met nut job after nut job. They gain my trust and then after they gain it, they destroy it. This last one really put a bad taste in my mouth. Especially breaking up with me via a text message. Totally immature.
kizik Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 Mutual friend of me and the ex starts talking about her today. Somehow, she brings up how our breakup went down. Of course, I start talking about it. Never really knew the truth until today. I already know she's dating someone else. The friend tells me that the ex basically woke up one day and realized she didn't want to be in the relationship anymore. Don't know why, but it really ate at me and hit a chord. I guess the positive that I can take out of it is that it motivates me not to ever get into a situation like that again. I still think she was emotionally/physically cheating on me or both. I don't know and of course the mutual friend is going to deny it. I just don't buy that someone else wasn't waiting in the wings. Oh well. Just ticks me off that I had a gut feeling she was disconnected and kept buying her "everything is ok" b.s. and should have ended it when I felt like things were going downhill. Hi Joker, I have to say that it was a mistake to talk about your ex. You don't want to do that. With anyone. OK? There is nothing good that can come of it. My ex and I split up 10 months ago. Well, the truth is, I got dumped. At the time, we said it was mutual. The only way it was mutual is that I didn't physically tie her to my side. I had to let her go b/c she wanted to go. I have not inquired once about my ex since the breakup. Not from anyone who knows her or anyone in the world. However, this being a crazy world, I have seen her - twice. The first time I saw her, she was with a new boyfriend. Some guy with Dreadlocks. Funny stuff. The second time was a few weeks ago as she drove through my neighborhood. I tell you this to illustrate the following: even if we intentionally stay in the dark about what our exes are up to, they still exist, and running into them is a real possibility. BUT, I bounced back from those chance sightings quickly b/c I deliberately saved myself from anguish by not inquiring about her during those tenuous first few months. Joker, please have the respect for yourself to not talk about her with anyone again for a long time. Maybe a year or two. I'm not kidding. Say, "I'd rather not talk about it." People will respect that. As time fades on, and you do more with your life, and you meet people who treat you with the respect that she never did, you will find that you can talk about her with a peaceful, serene tone, b/c you no longer care, and you realize what a total, total, total fool she is for giving you up. I'm sorry you had a setback, friend, but the fact is that you did it to yourself. Please don't do it again.
Author Joker77 Posted March 11, 2009 Author Posted March 11, 2009 Hi Joker, I have to say that it was a mistake to talk about your ex. You don't want to do that. With anyone. OK? There is nothing good that can come of it. My ex and I split up 10 months ago. Well, the truth is, I got dumped. At the time, we said it was mutual. The only way it was mutual is that I didn't physically tie her to my side. I had to let her go b/c she wanted to go. I have not inquired once about my ex since the breakup. Not from anyone who knows her or anyone in the world. However, this being a crazy world, I have seen her - twice. The first time I saw her, she was with a new boyfriend. Some guy with Dreadlocks. Funny stuff. The second time was a few weeks ago as she drove through my neighborhood. I tell you this to illustrate the following: even if we intentionally stay in the dark about what our exes are up to, they still exist, and running into them is a real possibility. BUT, I bounced back from those chance sightings quickly b/c I deliberately saved myself from anguish by not inquiring about her during those tenuous first few months. Joker, please have the respect for yourself to not talk about her with anyone again for a long time. Maybe a year or two. I'm not kidding. Say, "I'd rather not talk about it." People will respect that. As time fades on, and you do more with your life, and you meet people who treat you with the respect that she never did, you will find that you can talk about her with a peaceful, serene tone, b/c you no longer care, and you realize what a total, total, total fool she is for giving you up. I'm sorry you had a setback, friend, but the fact is that you did it to yourself. Please don't do it again. Kizik....it's funny because I had been telling myself that for a while. Thanks for posting that. I am following the advice I should have followed from here on out.
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