nc3313 Posted March 10, 2009 Posted March 10, 2009 Here is my story. My and my girlfriend of 1 1/2 years just split up. She has a little girl that is now 3 years old. When we met, the little girl was just starting to crawl. Now, the little girl would always run to me before her mom. She would love on me and kiss on me all the time. All of her family would say that I am a better dad than the real dad is. The problem started about a month ago when I saw some text messages to a guy in the area where we used to live. We moved about 2 hours away from our original place. I was working out of town alot so she would go back "home" to vist family and friends. The guy she had text messages to was a bartender in a sports bar. I questioned her about the texts and she said they were just friends. A few days later, she was showing me a pic on her phone when I saw the same guys name and a message. She later admitted that when she was visiting friends and family that the guy flirted and she flirted and all that happened was a kiss. We decided we would try to make things work. She called him and told him not to call anymore because we were going to work things out. She even changed her cell #. Just last week I still had questions, I looked at her myspace acct and she had sent a message to him saying he needs to listen to a particular slow song. He then had replied with a message saying, "Do you miss me at all." A day later she moved to her dads which is about 5 miles from home. Over the last 3 days that this has happened, I told her that I would be more than willing to put all this in the past to make things work. I told her there is too much love here to let everything go over some dumb mistakes. She constantly became angry anytime I mentioned anything about working things out saying she had to clear her head and figure out things on her own and she was trying to move on. She has told her friends as recently as yesterday that I am the best thing that has ever happened to her. She also told me she always wanted me to be a part of the childs live and I could spend time with the child anytime. I also am pretty sure she is still texting and talking to this guy and she has once again went to visit family for 2 days so I don't know what will happen there. I have decided to do no contact and let her come to me if she wants things to work. What do you think is going through her head? How do you things will work out? Am I doing the right things? Even now, I would be more than willing to put the past aside to have a future with this girl and her child which feels like my child too. Also, I am 31 and she is 26. Thanks for any advice.
stbx2007 Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 She may be too immature for a solid relationship. Why is she a single parent? Was she married before? Don't get yourself all involved with this girl. Its nice that you love and accept her child but you can't force things. This girl is acting flaky and has disrespected the relationship you and she had. Think about how faithful she would be. As faithful as she has just been. The child will have to put up with her because she's the mother. Tell her to be careful who she brings around the kid and to be mindful that the child should come first, then drop her from your memory. She is a cheater and thats that. You won't ever be able to trust her. You deserve someone who loves you enough to be faithful.
Author nc3313 Posted March 11, 2009 Author Posted March 11, 2009 Yes,she was married before. From what I understand, she wanted to go out and party while she left her husband at home with the child and he got tired of it. Will she ever realize what she has lost?
SRV Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 Human behavior is really predictable. You can pretty much forecast to an extent future behavior from the past. Just as stbx2007 said, she has pretty much shown you who she is and you should accept that and not make excuses for her behavior. Be glad that you do not have a child with her, because it would have been a whole different story. I would forget her and move on, some people just never really learn, I feel for her daughter though.
LoveUrselfFirst Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 What do you think is going through her head? How do you things will work out? Am I doing the right things? Can I ask you a question? Why are you allowing her to kiss another guy and tell her it's ok I can move past that. Who knows who else she is or was flirting or hooking up with. You know that by you saying it's ok, lets move forward, that she will continue doing things behind your back and damage the relationship, and worse, hurt your heart. I would think that the right thing to do is to do the NC and in person contact. And I don't want to sound forward but her son is not your child so I understand that you care for him, but I hope you don't, if you decide to get back together, stay because of him. Doesn't seem like she cares enough for you because she wouldn't kiss another dude behind your back and be "FAITHFUL".
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