boxing123 Posted March 13, 2009 Posted March 13, 2009 Naturally, she would be wondering, "Why an ice cream cone? Why not dinner? Is he broke?" What if she mentions being hungry? Is that when you say "Ok, well let's finish this ice cream cone, and I will drop you off so you can get yourself something to eat"
wierdmunky Posted March 13, 2009 Posted March 13, 2009 I believe it's a lot about effort. What are people willing to do for a date, assuming you want a date to turn into a relationship. If that entails money so be it. You can show a lady a good respectable time without money, if thats what you are looking for. If you are actually looking for JUST sex, that really isn't a quality relationship, and you will probably have to specifically look for that and put it out there. I don't think (I could be wrong) that most girls just want a lot fbuddies in their lives, with the health liabilities and all.
MindoverMatter Posted March 13, 2009 Posted March 13, 2009 Naturally, she would be wondering, "Why an ice cream cone? Why not dinner? Is he broke?" Dude. You're asking me and then you tell me how I would respond? Naturally, she would be wondering, "Why an ice cream cone? Why not dinner? Is he broke?" What if she mentions being hungry? Is that when you say "Ok, well let's finish this ice cream cone, and I will drop you off so you can get yourself something to eat" I and every other women I know, will always ask what will be done on the date. When it will happen, etc. If I know that we'll be meeting during the day I won't expect dinner. If you tell me that you'd like to take me for a walk, I won't expect dinner. But if you approach me out of the blue, ask me on a date for saturday night, take me to a restaurant that you chose and practically let that be all that you've planned for the evening, and then you expect me to pay half of what I never asked for in the first place, there will never be a second date. If you ask me out for an afternoon, take me to a park, a forest, a museum or whatever and invite me to a coffee, an ice cream cone, or half of a donut even, I'll be satisfied. And if we had fun, then there will be a second date and I will offer to pay half.
wierdmunky Posted March 13, 2009 Posted March 13, 2009 Naturally, she would be wondering, "Why an ice cream cone? Why not dinner? Is he broke?" What if she mentions being hungry? Is that when you say "Ok, well let's finish this ice cream cone, and I will drop you off so you can get yourself something to eat" Naturally? If you hyped up the date into something more than you were planning, told me to dress up fancy for a date together,then you take me to ice cream, yeah that would raise some questions. If you were charming enough you could still pull it off.
taylor Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 So, let me get this straight... According to many women on this thread, money does not need to be spent on a date all of a sudden..All you need is an "emotional connection" So Saturday night roles around, and it is the night of your big date.. The man picks you up, and takes you to the ice cream stand. He buys an an ice cream cone. That is perfectly acceptable? For who? 16 year olds? My first date with my husband was cider and donuts. It was October. He got a second date because of his boyish charm and because he treated me like a lady. Money was of no consideration whatsoever. If you want a woman who wants you for you, don't play the big money card. How will you ever be able to tell if she likes you or just your money? Concentrate on your personality, the way you treat her. Make her laugh. Make the date interesting so that she will want another one. The "right" girl will be telling her friends how cute and sweet you are and all about the date. She will not be telling them how much money you spent on her. That won't matter.
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 It's also culturally accepted for the government to steal 40% of my income every year. So what. It has nothing to do with being materialistic. That's the point is that I'm not materialistic. I don't PAY for women's attention or sex. I can enjoy a womans company by simply taking a walk on the beach. Since he hasn't "done the math", he doesn't sound very fiscally savvy. I wouldn't expect you to know this, but the economy is in a severe recession and heading for a depression because of this type of attitude. The country is broke and further escalating the crisis by the policies employed by Washington. So what happens when America looks a lot poorer 10 years from now. Will you dump him for someone else who can buy you expensive jewelry? I've actually turned to foreign girls because they are not so materialistic. They don't demand to be taken out to expensive dinners, or demand expensive gifts for the holidays. That made a whole hell of a lot of sense. In the whole time I was with my ex (6 years), guess how much "expensive jewelry" I got? ONE piece - my promise/engagement/wedding ring. I'm not a materialistic person. Big money does not attract me. Thoughtful gestures mean a whole lot more to me. Instead of assuming that ALL women are as you have known them to be, how about getting to know them? He has treated me on dates because HE chose to. I'm perfectly happy to stay at his house in the middle of the woods and cook him dinner. I've only been out to one supposedly "expensive" restaurant with him on my birthday and that was because it was HIS suggestion. I'm just as happy sitting at the hole-in-the-wall diner in his small town as long as I'm with him. So rather than guessing that I demand this type of treatment from a SO in order to be happy, how about asking? He treats me the way he does because he wants to treat me like royalty. Maybe I'd better tell him to stop - he's being too materialistic. And by the way - I make pretty much exactly the same amount that he does. Only he doesn't have to pay rent, utilities and some other things - which makes him have more expendable income. It's his choice what he does with it. And if I change jobs next month (which is looking promising), I'll then be making more than him. It doesn't matter to me. I never needed a man to take care of me and I don't now. It's the principle of the matter. I don't need cash to feel warm and cozy about my man. He does far more in other ways that make me feel special. I'm perfectly happy on no-money-spent dates. Quit being so bitter about women just because you've met some bad apples - we're not all like that. But yeah - your assumption about him being not fiscally savvy makes a whole lot of sense, too. He has zero debt and a really high credit score. So yeah, you're probably right. He sounds incredibly irresponsible. I'd better run because he's not keeping a running tally on my "bill." And by the way - the economy is in the ****ter because of people overextending themselves with credit. Borrowing more than they can afford to pay back. You need to take an economy class (or maybe logic would be better in your case) because you don't know what the hell you're talking about.
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 I have not seen one woman on this thread come out and say that she'd rather her boyfriend/husband didn't spend a dime on her but that she'd rather just be with him because she liked him for him. Every one of them has said something along the lines that I don't really keep track, or I'll repay him later, or that's not very romantic, or $50/week is reasonable. Not one of them has said the $0 is okay. You know, I thought long and hard about this while I was doing rounds for work just now. And at first I agreed with you, but was asking "WHY?" And you know what I came up with? Lack of creativity. Paying for something is so much more convenient and lazy than coming up with an idea on your own. I would be okay with $0 if the guy instead spent brain power coming up with ideas to make me feel special. Flowers are main-stream...so how about he actually grows his own and picks them out of his garden on the way to see me. I'd be perfectly happy with that. Cards are usually expected on holidays, birthdays, etc. How about sitting down and making one on your own - with your OWN thoughts inside. I'd be touched that he took the extra time. Instead of going out to dinner, he could arrange for a picnic somewhere special (I LOVE nature), asking me to bring my favorite side dish and dessert, and he'd bring the main course (that way we're spending equal amounts of money and nobody's being "ripped off" ). The coolest gift I have ever heard of a guy giving a girl was the hope chest my BF made for his ex with their initials and anniversary engraved on it. Does this satisfy you? Probably not. You're not talking to your average hooker, here. On our first date, our "activity" was going out range-shooting. Gee, he spent a ****load of money on that. It was my own Glock and my own ammo. We did go out to eat because neither of us felt like cooking. On our second date we went to a free winter event in Aspen. Yeah - that cost him boatloads, too. We also went snowmobiling on our second date - using fuel in the machine I rode that he did not pay for (none of your biz where it came from, but it wasn't me, either). Here you have a woman that's dating a man that lives 7 miles' worth of snowmobiling to get to his house. He hasn't paid for a haircut in 30 years (as long as he's been alive) and I was actually the most recent one to give him one. He is a downright country boy. Anything he made me as a gift, I would absolutely treasure. The date I am most looking forward to this summer? Camping under the stars (no tent) out at his place - he has a gorgeous view out there. I can hardly wait. You know, over the years with my ex, he gave me a bunch of cards for holidays, etc. He seemed hurt that I hadn't saved them all. But really - why? Now, if they had been HAND MADE, you'd bet your boots I would have saved them. They would have meant more. So take your self-righteous judgment about all American women and shove it right back up to where you pulled it from - your ass.
Chicago_Guy Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 So take your self-righteous judgment about all American women and shove it right back up to where you pulled it from - your ass. Soulsearch, you might not be like the women whom 949GuitarDude and other have complained about on this thread. However, any guy who lives in a big city can appreciate what those guys are getting at. Perhaps the average woman in the big cities is much more materialistic/greedy?
cookie_jar Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 yeh i think thats normal although i dnt feel good about saying it. my boyfriend have been with me for 5 years now and in the last 3 years we'd been on 2-3 holidays all of which he paid for apart from the last holiday where it was half and half.. he pays for every dinner, lunch, cinema etc etc..the presents he gives me for my birthday he spends £200-£300 on each time like i said, i dont feel good about saying it but i ALWAYS insist STRONGLY to pay for myself, i guess my boyfriend is just extremely sweet hehe...
Recommended Posts