3 years he said he spend 8k on his gf- is this for real

[Chicago_Guy]

Thanks Chicago_Guy. I'm actually originally from Chicago. I agree with you, the dating scene in Chicago is a little less superficial. Watch out though, as California goes, so goes the rest of the world. This is the type of thing that can creep up on you, and before you know it you're screwed.

 

This is precisely why I prefer it when women kind of chase me at first, or at least give me unequivocal signs that they are attracted to me.

 

On a side note, I was leaving a bar with a friend who was a couple years older than me (he is 35 and I am 33) back in January when we randomly met three girls who started talking to us on the street. I think that one of them asked what I did for a living and I mentioned that I was a lawyer. Well, we all went over to a bar and had some drinks. One of the girls was pretty hot, but still in college (22), which is far younger than I would normally go for. That girl just started winking at me from across the table at one point and then wrote her number on my hand, even though I didn't ask for it. However, I kind of thought that she may just want to use me as a meal ticket, because my gut instinct told me something was weird about her approach.

 

I ended up calling that girl to ask her out, but she didn't answer the phone. She sent me a text a few days later and we eventually agreed after about a week of exchanging texts to go out to dinner. I intentionally suggested a restaurant that is nice, but that I knew wasn't that expensive. Not surprisingly, she sent me a text in the afternoon on the day we were supposed to meet and claimed that she just started dating someone exclusively.

 

I honestly think she just viewed me as a meal ticket. She could have changed her mind for a different reason, but I really think it was because she was expecting me to take her to a really expensive place.

[Chicago_Guy]

i think you're all missing something VERY BASIC and OBVIOUS.

 

i seriously think men pay so that they don't have to try so/as hard.

 

i mean... when i pay, i dun care what i look like when i eat, how many beers i drink, how i dance when i'm in the club, how i look, how i smell, how clean i am... etc

 

...

 

i imagine many girls feel the same which is why they probably take so long to get ready and why they are better ON the date than the man.

 

most men, from my understanding, can't hold up a good conversation, aren't all that interesting or engaging or funny, eat a lot, drink a lot, dance poorly, don't start their day by prioritizing their hygiene, etc. is this bad? no.

 

BUT...

 

if a girl is getting ready and is all hot and ready for her date. then the guy shows up and is dressed average, dances just okay, doesn't hold up an amazing conversation, isn't hilarious or interesting or amazingly good looking, then don't you think when the girl pays it's almost as if she provided ALL the fun of the night?

 

Are you really a guy? It takes two to have a good conversation. Is the man failing to hold up a good conversation when he listens attentively to his date's boring day at work?

 

Since when is it universally understood that women "are better on the date" than men?

[prettybaby]

Then she's almost certainly ugly.

 

that's kind of bs to put some hottie up there that's not you.

A lot of people on this forum have seen my real picture, and I'm sure most will agree I'm not ugly. I like to see Britney as my avatar, it's from my favorite video of hers; I don't get why you'd be upset about my avatar. It's not supposed to be an ID picture. Most people have cartoons and whatnot.

 

You sound very insecure GuitarDude. I feel sorry for you, because you've obviously had some pretty bad dating experience. Just know that there really are genuinely nice and appreciative women out there. I hope you'll meet one soon.

[MindoverMatter]

1. I really hope most people don't look like their avatar. Wuggle would be a cat, Art_Critic a clown with a nasty smoking habit...

 

2. Are we talking girls or cars here?

 

"I prefer foreign woman, so much easier"/ "The best are 18/20 year olds who don't know anything" etc

 

I mean, dude, those are people. When somebody approaches women with an attitude like this he will get only women who are okay with treated like an acessory. Arm-candy, trophy-girls, who will not spend a dime or thought on his well-being. And rightly so. For he might spend a dime or two, but not really a thought on her either. Those relationships are not based on real affection and thus can be seen as a business contract. Nobody forced you to date the girl with the entitlement complex. So, don't bitch about it.

 

You're like somebody who only drives lamborghinis and then complains that they are not spacy enough for your hunting equipment.

[taylor]

There is a direct negative correlation between the amount of money I spend on a woman and the satisfaction I've received from it.

 

Girls who I am nice to, take to expensive dinners and fancy places play games and don't put out or appreciate it, and the girls who I refuse to to take out or spend money on keep coming back and just put out sex on demand.

 

It's easy to drop big cash on women if you're a sucker.

 

The very best dates I've been on have cost next to nothing.

 

My first date with my husband was a trip to the local convenience store where he bought a jug of apple cider, some spicey donuts and a bag of marshmallows...probably just under $5.

 

We went to the beach. Built a cozy fire and I got lost in his eyes. We laughed and talked and walked the beach for hours.

 

We enjoyed that date so much we re-enacted it on our first anniversary.

 

Guys, if you don't want a "material" girl, stop pulling your wallet out.

 

You will continue "attracting" material girls if you keep flashing money like a huge neon sign. Material girls are drawn to money like a moth to a light.

 

If you want to attract girls that want to be with you for who YOU ARE, let your good qualities be your "neon sign."

 

My grandmother used to tell my brothers, "If you want a real girl, buy her a 10 cent card and TREAT HER like a million bucks.

 

Money can't buy love. It should be every man's mantra.

 

But I think many men try to use money to boost their appeal, especially those who are insecure about themselves...their personality, their looks, their skills. They try to make up for their own perceived inadequacies or faults with money.

 

But the thing is, guys, if you don't think you are good enough for a girl unless you play the money card, how do you think the new girl is going to perceive you? She is going to think of you the way you think of yourself....he's not really that great of a catch, except for the money.

 

If you want a good girl..one who is genuine...keep the wallet in your pants. Focus on what's in your head and heart. If you do that, she will, too.

 

And if a girl walks away from you because you didn't spend enough money on her, let her go. That's not the kind of girl you want, anyways.

 

If you want a girl who will "put out" by spending alot of money on her, go get a hooker.

 

Real, genuine girls don't jump at the "money bait" because that's not what they are looking for.

[Untouchable_Fire]

It works both ways, a woman spends alot of money on the upkeep of her beauty requirements, underwear, the prettiest clothes. I have started dating again and more effort does happen.

 

Guys have to do that too! Crap if you add in all the money and time I spend at the gym and clothing... It is very close to what women usually spend on looking good.

[taylor]

Guys have to do that too! Crap if you add in all the money and time I spend at the gym and clothing... It is very close to what women usually spend on looking good.

 

True.

 

BUT, who are you spending the money on?

 

YOURSELF.

 

When I go to the store to buy pretty clothes or to the drug store to buy a host of make-up items, I do it to look good...FOR MYSELF.

 

I want to look good FOR ME.

 

I also go to the gym and work out 4 days a week...all sweat and painful muscle reps. For who? ME. I do it for me. I work out to stay fit and trim and healthy FOR ME.

 

I buy perfume and lotions FOR ME because I want to smell good and feel good FOR ME and I pick the fragrances I like.

 

I go to the hair salon and get highlights and a trendy style FOR ME.

 

If someone just happens to notice "the look" that's just an added bonus.

 

But I spend the money to get the look FOR ME. To make me happy. It has nothing to do with anyone else. So I never feel like I wasted a single penny.

[taylor]

A lot of people on this forum have seen my real picture, and I'm sure most will agree I'm not ugly. I like to see Britney as my avatar, it's from my favorite video of hers; I don't get why you'd be upset about my avatar. It's not supposed to be an ID picture. Most people have cartoons and whatnot.

 

You sound very insecure GuitarDude. I feel sorry for you, because you've obviously had some pretty bad dating experience. Just know that there really are genuinely nice and appreciative women out there. I hope you'll meet one soon.

 

Off topic, but..I like Britney, too, prettybaby. The choreography in her videos is so creative and has that WOW factor. I envy that body she has, too. I keep a picture of her on my refrigerator. It motivates me to eat less and crunch more (lol).

 

Speaking of avatars, there was a poster here Darth Vader (you still around?) Loved his avatar..dark and mysterious with the long glowing "wand." (lol)

 

And there are so many with cat pictures. Ever notice that?

 

And I love Lizzie's ever-changing avatars. Always so provocative, but with class.

 

And then there's a beautiful one..scenic..with two sailboats on a foggy sea...sorry, can't remember the poster. But just looking at it makes me feel serene.

 

Ok, enuf T/J.

[Untouchable_Fire]

If someone just happens to notice "the look" that's just an added bonus.

But I spend the money to get the look FOR ME. To make me happy. It has nothing to do with anyone else. So I never feel like I wasted a single penny.

 

I completely agree.

 

I also agree that if you want to avoid superficial women, just don't spend a lot of money on them.

[isoleaf]

True.

 

BUT, who are you spending the money on?

 

YOURSELF.

 

When I go to the store to buy pretty clothes or to the drug store to buy a host of make-up items, I do it to look good...FOR MYSELF.

 

I want to look good FOR ME.

 

I also go to the gym and work out 4 days a week...all sweat and painful muscle reps. For who? ME. I do it for me. I work out to stay fit and trim and healthy FOR ME.

 

I buy perfume and lotions FOR ME because I want to smell good and feel good FOR ME and I pick the fragrances I like.

 

I go to the hair salon and get highlights and a trendy style FOR ME.

 

If someone just happens to notice "the look" that's just an added bonus.

 

But I spend the money to get the look FOR ME. To make me happy. It has nothing to do with anyone else. So I never feel like I wasted a single penny.

 

 

true but doesn't that mean that the guy shouldn't feel bad about your having to buy lingerie, perfume, makeup, to "please him" because it's NOT for him, it's for YOU right?

 

so these costs shouldn't be counted as men also must upkeep.

 

and i dunno about how much it is for the guy in the FIRST place. once they get married etc, i'm sure the guy could care less which brand makeup his wife wears but she'll care because it indeed is also mainly for HER.

 

i never said it was UNIVERSALLY ACCEPTED that all men are worse on the date. i never feel like i'm an awful date and have only had one bad date in my life. i brought it back to whomever is the higher VALUE individual is always going to feel like they wasted money if the other does not deliver. not only money but time, effort, possibly sleep, etc.

 

my point is wasted resources are wasted resources. if you read my WHOLE POST you'd see that i settled on just spending however much YOU feel you'd WANT to spend on an IDEAL mate and then scale that back as appropriate with the respective parties dependent on how fully they fit the bill while accepting all consequences that follow with accountability.

 

i concluded that everyone was far to afraid of REJECTION as spending money seems to be a chore that is required to have someone like you. it should NEVER be a "chore" and you should never spend more than a penny than you're willing to and anyone who isn't cool with that, you should NEVER have a problem with them not liking you so there's no need to try to pander or assuage the situation with money. just take the hit, tell yourself you wouldn't be happy with that person (because it's probably true if you're being honest with YOURSELF) and then move the hell on.

 

once again, if you're complaining, it's because you're doing it wrong.

[949GuitarDude]

A lot of people on this forum have seen my real picture, and I'm sure most will agree I'm not ugly. I like to see Britney as my avatar, it's from my favorite video of hers; I don't get why you'd be upset about my avatar. It's not supposed to be an ID picture. Most people have cartoons and whatnot.

 

You sound very insecure GuitarDude. I feel sorry for you, because you've obviously had some pretty bad dating experience. Just know that there really are genuinely nice and appreciative women out there. I hope you'll meet one soon.

 

I'm insecure because I don't want to spend money on women. What kind of twisted logic is that?

 

Of course there are nice and appreciative women out there, but go read Chicago_Guy's story. That doesn't mean you don't have to be aware that there are a lot of hookers that don't put out.

[949GuitarDude]

I have not seen one woman on this thread come out and say that she'd rather her boyfriend/husband didn't spend a dime on her but that she'd rather just be with him because she liked him for him. Every one of them has said something along the lines that I don't really keep track, or I'll repay him later, or that's not very romantic, or $50/week is reasonable. Not one of them has said the $0 is okay.

 

So my conclusions, ALL of the women on this thread are basically hookers that demand a guy spend money on them.

[mr.dream merchant]

I have not seen one woman on this thread come out and say that she'd rather her boyfriend/husband didn't spend a dime on her but that she'd rather just be with him because she liked him for him. Every one of them has said something along the lines that I don't really keep track, or I'll repay him later, or that's not very romantic, or $50/week is reasonable. Not one of them has said the $0 is okay.

 

So my conclusions, ALL of the women on this thread are basically hookers that demand a guy spend money on them.

 

 

Guess I'll start popping my popcorn now before the show starts.

[Art_Critic]

Not one of them has said the $0 is okay.

 

So my conclusions, ALL of the women on this thread are basically hookers that demand a guy spend money on them.

 

This is a guess.. I take it you are single ??

 

0$ spent on a woman courting her shouldn't be okay dude.. and honestly if you don't get with it then you will remain dateless or angry for quite sometime..

 

Nobody says that you have to spend a ton of money on a woman.. but if you want to court her then part of courting her is paying her way on dates..

 

JMO

[IcemanJB]

I have not seen one woman on this thread come out and say that she'd rather her boyfriend/husband didn't spend a dime on her but that she'd rather just be with him because she liked him for him. Every one of them has said something along the lines that I don't really keep track, or I'll repay him later, or that's not very romantic, or $50/week is reasonable. Not one of them has said the $0 is okay.

 

So my conclusions, ALL of the women on this thread are basically hookers that demand a guy spend money on them.

 

Ummm, chill out. I have yet to date a girl that demands I spend a PENNY on her. I do it because I WANT to (and not to get anything in return), not because it's required by her.

 

I wouldn't over-generalize like you've been doing.

[mr.dream merchant]

This is a guess.. I take it you are single ??

 

0$ spent on a woman courting her shouldn't be okay dude.. and honestly if you don't get with it then you will remain dateless or angry for quite sometime..

 

Nobody says that you have to spend a ton of money on a woman.. but if you want to court her then part of courting her is paying her way on dates..

 

JMO

 

 

See I can understand where GuitarDude is coming from with comments like these. Courting a female does not constitute having to pay their way for anything. They should enjoy your company and you for you, not judge you by what you pay for.

[Art_Critic]

See I can understand where GuitarDude is coming from with comments like these. Courting a female does not constitute having to pay their way for anything. They should enjoy your company and you for you, not judge you by what you pay for.

 

How is it that you understand how he is coming from ?

 

Courting does in my book.. this is only my opinion speaking from my dating experience..

 

I have never paid for a date that I didn't want to.. I was more than happy to be the man.....

 

If guitarguy wants to switch roles and act like the woman on the date and expect her to pay for him then let him..

He won't find many dates that way...

[mr.dream merchant]

Tying who pays for what to a gender these days is kind of foolish. Everyone has equal opportunity and that equality should be seen through the dating protocol. Its one thing to want to pay your date's way, its another to say that is required. And to judge a guy on what he pays for is foolish, that's like a guy judging a girl because of how much she puts out the first date, equally dumb.

[taylor]

I think a man who pays exhorbitantly for a woman's company is foolish/desperate.

 

I think this kind of man is trying to buy love by making up for what he perceives are shortcomings or flaws on his part.

 

I think many of these men also believe this is the best or only way to attract women.

 

While it is true money will attract some women (the material kind), other women (not materialistic) will be turned off by the FLASH of the money and wonder what he's overcompensating for. Other non-materialistic women will be turned off by his effort to "buy" them. And other non- materialistic women will be turned off by his values and priorities, ie., making money number one is their lives.

 

However,

 

men who want to date a particular woman and who are willing to spend a little to make a nice evening for the two of them is not foolish or desperate.

 

I think that a man who courts a woman uses money to show that woman that he cares for her and that he is responsible. He does it because he wants to. It's one way he has at his disposal to show he cares. Another way to show he cares is by the way he dresses. Another way...his hygiene. Another way...his thoughtfulness in the little things he says and does (nonmonetary). Another way...the amount of time he chooses to spend with her.

 

I don't care how much money a man spends on a woman...a non-materialistic woman will be turned off by a man that shows up in grungy, dirty clothes (unless of course they are 4-wheeling). She will be turned off if he didn't comb his hair, brush his teeth, or use deodorant. And she will be turned off if he picks his nose, let's out gas, burps, or swears. She will be turned off if he walks 10 steps in front of her, pushes her aside to get thru a door first, or drops her off at the end of her street when the date ends. And she'll be turned off if his only idea of a date is a one hour booty call at the end of the night.

 

There's alot more to attracting and keeping a non-material girl than spending money on her. It's low on her priority list. With non-material girls, it's always the little things that matter most.

[prettybaby]

There sure is a lot of stereotyping going on in this thread

[isoleaf]

How is it that you understand how he is coming from ?

 

Courting does in my book.. this is only my opinion speaking from my dating experience..

 

I have never paid for a date that I didn't want to.. I was more than happy to be the man.....

 

If guitarguy wants to switch roles and act like the woman on the date and expect her to pay for him then let him..

He won't find many dates that way...

 

i think it should be whoever ASKED for the date should pay, whether that be the man OR the woman.

 

if you're asking for someone's company and asking them to take a chance on you for the date, then it makes sense that you wouldn't ask them to pay for that chance.

 

guy: "Hey pretty lady want to go on a date with me?"

 

girl: "Hmm... arite i guess so. I don't really know you all that well tho..."

 

guy: "Well, i think you'd really like me if you gave me a chance."

 

girl: "Hmm... okay."

 

guy: "Btw could you pay for this date where you get to know me so that i could have a chance with you?"

 

switch the roles and it still doesn't make sense. whoever is asking for the date should be paying. that's kinda the idea right? if you want someone's time you gotta make that cost up to them. time IS money after all. sure you're not PAYING for her TIME but you ARE taking time OUT of her day so it's not like she's ASKING for that money back in some way as many women on here have said the guy just has to be fun and they've had plenty of fun doing FREE THINGS, thus you have to provide some kind of VALUE in exchange for that TIME. ONLY if you're LAZY will you turn to money. if you put in a ton of effort you could prolly plan an awesome night on a budget but many are lazy and would rather just pay someone else to make the experience nice instead of pulling that out of their OWN ass.

 

HOWEVER, it should be noted that in this society MEN do the approaching and women don't like to approach. and it's true that MEN PREFER to approach and women prefer to be approached. SO all you women out there need to accept you don't like to approach and thus you don't like paying for ****. i'm not gonna say you don't pay for ANYTHING, as many girls on here admit to paying SOME of the costs. i keep seeing numbers floating around 30%. as in, i pay for probably a third of the costs of our relationship.

 

TO THE WOMEN ON THIS THREAD: WHILE it is VERY VERY VERY appreciated that you pay this amount, please understand that it is still less than HALF of what the man will probably end up paying. PLEASE APPRECIATE that fact and don't shy away from it whining like "WELL I PAY FOR 30% TOOOOOOOOO!!!!!1111!!!1" just be like "Yes it's true men pay a little bit more and it's very much appreciated. women pay too and they also suck your c*ck and don't give a **** when you smell or generally suck or ask to put it in our butt, so once you're ready to take it up the butt, i'll be ready to pay as much as you do." or some similar kind of sentiment.

 

also understand that if you DID pay the amount that the guys in your relationships paid, you wouldn't FOCUS ALL OF YOUR ATTENTION on it, but it would DEFINITELY cross your mind a few more times a day than it does currently. agree or disagree? i thought so. now take that just ONE STEP FURTHER and if that amount that you had to pay had INDEED DOUBLED, all of a sudden you don't have the resources to go out and just court whomever. now all of a sudden you have to be more conscious of your funds and whom you ask out etc. all of a sudden you are forced to incorporate how you spend your money on your dates and this isn't FUN. it's NOT awesome to have to think about money in relationships and dating all the time and men HAVE TO. thus when a man is broke, he's left feeling like he can't ask anyone on a date because he has no money, then he asks himself, why do i have to pay for this if it's all about love ultimately? so this means that as long as i have no money i can't even go out on ONE date or meet ONE woman? that doesn't seem fair... and now you know what it's like to be in our shoes.

 

thus dole out the appropriate amount of appreciation (NOT bend over backwards, but the APPROPRIATE AMOUNT) and own the way in which you pay back and hold your end of the deal. don't run away from the facts and from the men who are just asking to be appreciated properly.

 

understand that many of the men on this forum and men in general are/were played for their MONEY. have YOU ever been played for YOUR money? do you know how awful that feels? while many men in this forum probably haven't played women for sex, i can assure you almost EVERY woman in here has played a guy for a free meal or drink. i could dare to say that it's worse and more materialistic than trying to play you for your sex and it's at LEAST just as bad. OWN UP to this and admit it to yourselves. we men have to admit things to ourselves ALL THE F*CKING TIME for the sake of self improvement and for a chance at love. women are demanding creatures after all. give us a break for Christ's sake. YES paying double the amount girls pay does get frustrating from time to time.

 

FORGIVE ME that i'm not grateful for this setup and that we have gripes from time to time. whenever you wanna switch places and pay double the amount i pay while i spend my money on myself and "getting pretty for you" just lemme know and i'll take that deal.

[clv0116]

.... it's NOT awesome to have to think about money in relationships and dating all the time and men HAVE TO. thus when a man is broke, he's left feeling like he can't ask anyone on a date because he has no money, then he asks himself, why do i have to pay for this if it's all about love ultimately? so this means that as long as i have no money i can't even go out on ONE date or meet ONE woman? that doesn't seem fair... and now you know what it's like to be in our shoes.

 

That is pretty damn insightful.

 

 

.... understand that many of the men on this forum and men in general are/were played for their MONEY. have YOU ever been played for YOUR money? do you know how awful that feels? while many men in this forum probably haven't played women for sex, i can assure you almost EVERY woman in here has played a guy for a free meal or drink.

 

Ah yes.

[MindoverMatter]

while many men in this forum probably haven't played women for sex, i can assure you almost EVERY woman in here has played a guy for a free meal or drink.

 

I'd take a guess and say that many women here were played for sex. And you cannot assure anything, because you're just guessing either. I, for one, have never used anyone for anyting.

 

The rest of your post is interesting and has some good points.

[Art_Critic]

understand that many of the men on this forum and men in general are/were played for their MONEY. have YOU ever been played for YOUR money? do you know how awful that feels?

 

I certainly have.. as a business owner for most of my life I have had to learn how to determine if a girl wanted to go out because she wanted to get to know me or if she was just going out because of my cool toys..boats, house, motorcycles.. etc or money...

 

It's funny though.. I'm not bitter because some women have looked at me for a meal ticket.. instead I act like a man..

I move on to the next girl and don't make her suffer for the others that came before her...

[Cherry Blossom 35]

Oh Art Critic...flutter flutter...men, take notes!