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1.5 year realationship vs over 3 yr old crush?


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Posted

Hey guys,

 

I am so glad I found this website, I have been keeping a secret from everyone I for over 3 years now.

 

I was with a group of friends and I met this guy and I swear a voice told me he was going to be the "one" for me (cliche I know)

 

I have never moved past that. I didn't see him for about a year after the first meeting, but for a while we went to the same church (he even remembered me after our initial meeting).

 

A while later I started a relationship with another person and we have been together for a year and a half now. At times I am happy, but that little voice has never silenced. :love:

 

I feel as if I am just "settling" and I don't think anyone will ever compare to this person who I have had really strong feelings for for over 3 years now. For some reason I just cannot get him out of my head. It confuses and upsets me hugely.

 

I know it was very foolish to get into a realtionship on such unsteady ground, but I though it would make it all go away. I have never been so wrong.

 

Now the relationship is starting to fall apart and I feel horrible because I just don't care. I mean I do, but deep down I want it to be over. I feel selfish, but I don't have it in me to break it off, I also have a huge fear of being alone.

 

Oh and I'm 23, this isn't some schoolyard crush thingy, lol :p

 

Thank you so much for letting me vent that out, it has been eating me away from the inside for years now.

 

Thank you again

 

- Nikki

Posted

Well, I don't think it's fair to your SO to keep stringing him along while you pine for somebody else. Let him go so he can find somebody that'll give him 100%.

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Posted

very true, and that is what I have done.

 

In the end we both knew something wasn't right. It was an amicable (spelling... fail) split and we hope to remain friends :)

 

I do feel a lot better now :)

Posted

Ahhh, the grass is always greener. But that's because its watered with chicken $hi7 for fertilizer.

 

This "new" guy is going to be a disappointment too because you'll find some other dude. I thought fidelity (emotional, physical etc) was something most church-going girls valued.

Posted

Sounds just like me and my ex. We had an okay relationship for several years, but something was off and I did have an old crush in the back of my head all this time ... we eventually split. I got back in touch with the old crush, and old crush and I are now a couple. So hey, there's hope for you lol

 

Always trust your instincts, but also act wisely.

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