Sam Spade Posted March 10, 2009 Posted March 10, 2009 Wah, wah, wah. Guys deal with this on a daily basis and don't whine. Get over it, and every once in a while you'll encounter a guy that wants to talk to you. Just because you're a girl doesn't mean that all guys will drop everything at all times just to talk to you...
serial muse Posted March 10, 2009 Posted March 10, 2009 Wah, wah, wah. Guys deal with this on a daily basis and don't whine. Get over it, and every once in a while you'll encounter a guy that wants to talk to you. Just because you're a girl doesn't mean that all guys will drop everything at all times just to talk to you... Read the whole thread. The OP, it turns out, is a guy.
PrincessPeach Posted March 10, 2009 Posted March 10, 2009 It's funny how you can see who clearly does not read the thread at all before posting.
Surfer Dude Posted March 10, 2009 Posted March 10, 2009 I probably got shot down hundreds of times in my lifetime when approaching women in public. Getting a cold shoulder is a pain the first few times, but we men get used to it. Then we just don't care anymore. Most cold approaches end in rejections anyway. I've had a girl sit next to me in a train last week... she asked me "is this a train to xyz place?". I just said "yeah" and went back to surfing the net on my cell phone. I thought she just needed random info and that she wasn't really interested in talking, since there were no indications that she wanted to continue this convo. Can she blame me for that?
IrishCarBomb Posted March 10, 2009 Posted March 10, 2009 He's not a jerk because he refused to talk to you. He's a jerk because he was actually so smooth and tactful, that he actually impregnated you while you thought he was ignoring you. Congrats!
kizik Posted March 10, 2009 Posted March 10, 2009 Maybe he ignored you b/c he's sick of girls acting snotty. A lot of women today are total narcissistic attention-whores, and smart guys have learned not to play their BS game. As a guy, I'll tell you this: I don't pay women any attention for the simple fact that they are on the defensive. They'll wear low-cut blouses and then scoff when you happen to momentarily notice their boobs. Ugh.
Isolde Posted March 10, 2009 Posted March 10, 2009 He's not a jerk because he refused to talk to you. He's a jerk because he was actually so smooth and tactful, that he actually impregnated you while you thought he was ignoring you. Congrats! OMG Irish... you've outdone yourself
Lights Posted March 10, 2009 Posted March 10, 2009 I'm surprised there's any response to this at all. In this modern era of gender equality, it's expected for women to make direct approaches and cleanly handle direct rejections routinely just the way men are expected to, and failure to do such would indicate that the woman in question is to be vilified in the same fashion that a man who fails to do such would be.
Taramere Posted March 10, 2009 Posted March 10, 2009 Quick recap for anyone who's too busy being indignant about the first post to bother reading the rest of the thread: Thank you for all responses. Considering the unexpected number, I actually feel bad about my original post. You see, I am the "jerk"---not the girl (and the events were in the late nineties). I was writing a rather larger post on the topic of women, signals, and how to interpret them
BobSacamento Posted March 10, 2009 Posted March 10, 2009 I'm surprised there's any response to this at all. In this modern era of gender equality, it's expected for women to make direct approaches and cleanly handle direct rejections routinely just the way men are expected to, and failure to do such would indicate that the woman in question is to be vilified in the same fashion that a man who fails to do such would be. So true. If men posted on here when they were rejected it would be swamped. I would be making many contributions I must add.
tincanman99 Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 I work in NYC and live in NJ. Nobody talks on the train. Its as quiet as a morgue. In the 2 years I have been in this job I have yet to see a guy trying to pick up a girl on the train. Nada, zilch - NEVER. Everyone is either asleep, reading or plugged into their iPod. In the few times I have attempted to just make small talk with people they made it clear they thought I was odd for trying to speak to them. I know its weird but I have seen arguments start because people were talking to each other and having a good time and it annoyed the other passengers. The moral is dont take it personally. If your trains are like ours the guy probably thought to himself, why is she speaking to me? Now you do know what guys feel like when they try to talk to a woman and she is cold to him. This happens to most guys.
The Blue Pill Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 Yes FFS, please read the first page: THIS STORY IS FABRICATED BY ONE MAN so stop posting replies to it.
MN randomguy Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 Haha, Nice. Was this girl attractive? Why do you remember this 10 years later?
PinkKittyKat Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 1. The statements about nerds being thankful, etc. were intended to be what the friend used to talk "her" into the approach. My deliberate attempts to lower the quality of the text obviously lead to ambiguities. Intended to be or not, it's pretty rotten that you'd think a random person would say that, and it says even more about your self-opinion. If I told a bf that my friend talked me into chatting him up "because he looks like a nerdy guy who'd be GRATEFUL for any female attention at all" the guy would be CRUSHED. Is that really what you think girls who hit on you are thinking?
Author lustans Posted March 11, 2009 Author Posted March 11, 2009 Yes FFS, please read the first page: THIS STORY IS FABRICATED BY ONE MAN so stop posting replies to it. To avoid misunderstandings: The part of the story I could observe myself is real; the parts outside highly speculative. (For my motivations refer to my previous posts.) Haha, Nice. Was this girl attractive? Why do you remember this 10 years later? I remember more or less everything that happens to me; my reasons to actually recall this incident lies in my current attempts to gain a better understanding of the (from my POV) odd behaviours women display. Intended to be or not, it's pretty rotten that you'd think a random person would say that, and it says even more about your self-opinion. Why? After all she did not even have to mean it. The situation has never arisen, but in a reverse situation, I would have no qualms telling an insecure friend of mine that "fat girls are thankful for the attention" just to give him enough "pep" to go through with an approach---irrespective of whether fat girls are thankful or not. After all, approach anxiety is usually unfounded. Bungee jumping is not dangerous, yet sometimes a jumper needs a push in the back to go through with it. If I told a bf that my friend talked me into chatting him up "because he looks like a nerdy guy who'd be GRATEFUL for any female attention at all" the guy would be CRUSHED. For heavens sake! Why would you tell him? :-) (And besides: By chatting him up, you at least have implied that he is good enough for YOU---whatever other circumstances may be.) Is that really what you think girls who hit on you are thinking? At that time, I would probably not have thought further than, "A girl who likes me! Does she like me enough that I can get her into bed?". Nowadays, I am used to women being interested in me.
era Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 *yawn* You seem to have alot of free time on your hands, lustans. It sickens me to know that LSers on here were giving you honest opinions only for you to admit your thread was bogus. BuByeeeeeeeee....
Dexter Morgan Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 .....................geez...realized story was made up
Dexter Morgan Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 Thank you for all responses. Considering the unexpected number, I actually feel bad about my original post. You see, I am the "jerk"---not the girl Which means anyone that read this post will not take you seriously in the future. 4. BobSacamento has got it spot on: The guy was clueless. Or the guy simply isn't interested. As one poster said, when I am reading something, I block everyone else out. Not a nerd by any means. By me responding in a "speak when spoken to" manner, it means...."I'm busy".
Lizzie60 Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 I sat down in front of him and he just kept reading! Not even a hi! Then I just sat there feeling silly. So then I asked if this was the train to Knoxville. The jerk just said yes and continued reading! And there I was sitting and feeling silly again. I just gave up and went back to my friend. Huh??? I don't get it.. what's so rude about him?? He answered you.. If I'm on a public transp. and a guy sits in front of me, while I'm reading.. why would I HAVE to say 'hi'... If he asked me if this was the train for XXX.. and I said yes.. and keep on reading.. why would that be rude? I think YOU were being rude to disturb him...
missdependant Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 This nerd is probably going places and is insulted by the fact that you think he should be thankful you ackowledged his presence. LOL!
serial muse Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 In this modern era of gender equality, it's expected for women to make direct approaches and cleanly handle direct rejections routinely just the way men are expected to, and failure to do such would indicate that the woman in question is to be vilified in the same fashion that a man who fails to do such would be. And so "she" was, so you should be happy. Equality all 'round. Until it turned out it "she" wasn't - a she, that is.
Dawn26 Posted March 13, 2009 Posted March 13, 2009 Oh poor baby! It probably had nothing to do with you, it was his issues. The possibilities are endless......don't give up!
Dawn26 Posted March 13, 2009 Posted March 13, 2009 Today I was on the train with a friend. There was this guy reading a book near us. My friend thought I should talk to him. If guys don't talk to me I should try and talk to them. Nerds are thankful for the attention. Whatever. I had nothing to loose (yeah right...). So we decided I should try. I sat down in front of him and he just kept reading! Not even a hi! Then I just sat there feeling silly. So then I asked if this was the train to Knoxville. The jerk just said yes and continued reading! And there I was sitting and feeling silly again. I just gave up and went back to my friend. Am I so uninterseting that I am not even worthy of a hello??! I mean he must have known I wanted to talk to him. Why else would I have left my friend?!? Just so depressed and humiliated... Why are there no guys that like me... Oh poor baby! It probably had nothing to do with you, it was his issues. The possibilities are endless......don't give up!
BCCA Posted March 13, 2009 Posted March 13, 2009 Today I was on the train with a friend. There was this guy reading a book near us. My friend thought I should talk to him. If guys don't talk to me I should try and talk to them. Nerds are thankful for the attention. Whatever. I had nothing to loose (yeah right...). So we decided I should try. I sat down in front of him and he just kept reading! Not even a hi! Then I just sat there feeling silly. So then I asked if this was the train to Knoxville. The jerk just said yes and continued reading! And there I was sitting and feeling silly again. I just gave up and went back to my friend. Am I so uninterseting that I am not even worthy of a hello??! I mean he must have known I wanted to talk to him. Why else would I have left my friend?!? Just so depressed and humiliated... Why are there no guys that like me... First, this is what women do ALL THE TIME! Should I assume that all women are b****es? I think not. He didnt feel like talking for any number of reasons, or maybe he didnt think you wanted to talk. You asked him one question about the train - was he supposed to throw the book away and drop to his knees to praise you? Maybe he has a girlfriend, maybe he just got laid off, maybe he doesnt feel good or like how he looks, and maybe - he just wasnt interested. Do any of those things make him a jerk? This is a really ridiculous statement. Its also such a double standard, because I can bet that if some guy you werent interested in approached you, you would do the same thing or worse, and then say 'well I didnt want to talk to him' like youve done nothing wrong. Truth be told, hes not obligated to want to talk to you because you have a vagina. I dont even see what he did that was rude. He was reading, you interrupted with a question, which he answered. If he just ignored you or said 'leave me alone', then sure, thats rude. But the fact that he didnt want to take you on a trip around the world because you made 2 seconds of effort is nothing to be upset about. You really dont even know that he wasnt interested. You really didnt try at all, just asked a basic question about a train. People ask me 'does this bus go X' all the time, and I dont take that to mean they are interested in me. And if I try and chat them up sometimes, then I end up getting blown off. The sense of entitlement you have is off base.
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