Alex_M Posted March 10, 2009 Posted March 10, 2009 So it's been 5 months after my breakup and after the terrible things she said to me and the way that she treated me I'm still feeling the effects. I feel like i'm starting to move on, going on a date for the first time on sunday. Telling somone that their new partner is amazing and that what we shared was nothing has got to be one of the worst things you can do to someone right? Telling me to never talk to her ever again after only telling me 1 week previously that "she had been crying for leaving me and regretting it". Haven't heard from her since. The lack of closure is ruining my life, I hate it. No one should dictacte how I feel. Any advice on how to stop caring about this stupid girl and what she thinks?
Ronni_W Posted March 10, 2009 Posted March 10, 2009 Alex, No one DOES dictate how we feel. We are in total control and authority of our feelings because feelings are internal-driven, not external. Like Radiohead sings, "You do it to yourself, you do...and that's what really hurts." Yeah, that does suck, what she told you. But not as much as this girl over here, who is trying to stick my kid with paternity. (Yeah, yeah...tests when the kid is born...but just telling you stuff, crikes, you have your own power to tell yourself your own truth!) Your girl doesn't "owe" you closure. As Radiohead might sing, "You owe it to yourself, you do..." Yes? EDIT: Oops! Here's a link to 'How to survive the loss of a love' -- I really do hope it will help you to stop caring about that stupid girl. Loss and grieving ARE difficult to deal with, even if we're also doing crap to our Self. http://www.mcwilliams.com/books/sur/srtoc.htm
era Posted March 10, 2009 Posted March 10, 2009 You need to release your need for closure. Every moment you allow her to upset you is a moment you've given her to control you. Advance confidently in the direction of your own dreams, and have fun on your Sunday date.
pookey Posted March 10, 2009 Posted March 10, 2009 I hate the word "closure" There is no event that suddenly ends feelings. Keep telling yourself it is her loss. And to me, anyone who would keep rubbing the wounds with salt is not worth agonizing over. Deep down she is vindictive and it probably would have surfaced some other time in your relationship. You need self respect. Don't accept her words. You don't deserve it and are better than that.
Recommended Posts