pez33 Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 I met this girl my junior year in college and we had sparks flying for two months before i had to leave to go to spain. We were so close by the time we left yet there may have not been enough time to seal it. yet she wanted me to be her boyfriend so we officially started dating a week before i left. I am gone for 3 and a half months and about a month and a half into it she decided to take a "break" to slow things down. We are still talking and shes saying she missis me still and will wait for my return. But her thoughts is she isnt sure if things are gana feel the same when i return. I keep telling her that just because i was gone doesnt mean things could change. Is she just keeping me on the side to possibly have someone and wants to see other people? I really want to to make sure things work out when i get back but should i keep talking to her or not. I'm trying to just keep things cool for now till i get back...and should i take it slow when i first get back or should i show up the day i get back with flowers? I'm torn on what to do but want to find out the right thing to do to make sure i have her heart once again on my return...thanks
Doingitagain Posted March 10, 2009 Posted March 10, 2009 I say keep talking to her. What's the worst that can happen? You get a friend out of it? And the best? Well... you know the best
Island Girl Posted March 10, 2009 Posted March 10, 2009 I met this girl my junior year in college and we had sparks flying for two months before i had to leave to go to spain. We were so close by the time we left yet there may have not been enough time to seal it. yet she wanted me to be her boyfriend so we officially started dating a week before i left. I am gone for 3 and a half months and about a month and a half into it she decided to take a "break" to slow things down. We are still talking and shes saying she missis me still and will wait for my return. But her thoughts is she isnt sure if things are gana feel the same when i return. I keep telling her that just because i was gone doesnt mean things could change. You could stop talking to her and then stage a "run in" when you get back (I would) and then you can see about picking the relationship back up where you left off. Or you can continue talking to her but you need to change what you are talking about (the relationship - don't) and you need to state unequivocally you feel the exact same way (that you may not be feeling the same way about her). She is stringing you along right now and you are giving her all the reassurances that you are still pining away for her and will be ready if she is. This is the WRONG thing to do. Is she just keeping me on the side to possibly have someone and wants to see other people? I really want to to make sure things work out when i get back but should i keep talking to her or not. I'm trying to just keep things cool for now till i get back...and should i take it slow when i first get back or should i show up the day i get back with flowers? I'm torn on what to do but want to find out the right thing to do to make sure i have her heart once again on my return...thanks See above. And no since she is blowing you off - or putting you aside -- she does not get FLOWERS for that. You can't make sure you have her heart. She is dallying around and keeping her options open. If you had her heart to begin with she wouldn't be doing that. The best hope you have is showing her you aren't a doormat - you are't totally sprung on her - and that you are strong enough to think about yourself first.
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