Citizen Erased Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 Well, it happened. My..now ex I guess moved his things out last night. I came home and we talked for about an hour and then he started packing his things. We divided everything up and he was gone by 8pm. My head is just spinning, everything happened so fast. I was trying to hold it together last night until he left and managed to...I think that just hurt him more. He sent me a message after he left and wished me happiness and hoped my health would improve. That is a thousand times worse than him hating me, I don't deserve that from him. That's all I can write for now, I'm at work so probably not the best time to be getting emotional.
Love Actually Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 , I'm at work so probably not the best time to be getting emotional. Shorting out the keyboard can be dangerous. Anyway, our best thoughts are with you. Trust me - it will get better. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but a long, long, long time from now. Like next Thursday, would be my guess. Sometimes we have to go backwards to go sideways, if you catch my drift. Smile, and maybe your mind will play along.
Trialbyfire Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 I'm sorry to hear this. Break ups land somewhere between impossibly sad to impossibly difficult to handle. Stay strong until you get home. Then you can post about how you're doing. We're here to be the shoulders.
Love Actually Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 Just to be honest, I probably won't be here when you get home. Apologies in advance.
marlena Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 I am sorry to hear this. Try to fight down that sense of panic that arises right after a break up. It's still too early to know the outcome. It could be just a little lovers' spat. Hang in there.
Touche Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 Wow, CE...that seemed to just come out of nowhere!. I'm so sorry. Yes, we're here for you. You can keep it together at work though. Hugs, dear.
Ronni_W Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 I'm at work so probably not the best time to be getting emotional. Ah, screwitt! Take an 'emotional health day', if that is what you need. You certainly do deserve to be taking extra-special care of yourself. I'm sorry for what you're going through. As Touche said, we are here.
Love Actually Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 Wow, CE...that seemed to just come out of nowhere! Actually, it's very much like a reverse orgasm - it sucks all the euphoric feelings out of you, and leaves you tense. Two words - ice cream.
jerbear Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 I have to go with taking a sick day/emotional day as mentioned by another poster. I would suggest posting and let him come to you. It seems like he had thoughts of this for a long time. Anyway, we're here.
BCCA Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 I had my ex move out, and helped her pack her stuff, and came back into a half empty house for weeks before I had the strength to re arrange it. It was probably the hardest thing Ive ever gone through, I certainly feel for you. It gets easier, but it might be slow going. Just keep your friends on speed dial and come here if you need. Certainly helped me.
Geishawhelk Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 CE, we discussed this moment in a thread before, you remember...? Boy, hun, you must feel kinda stripped. but go back to that thread and remember what we all said. He's 9..... And take some time for yourself, sure enough.
Author Citizen Erased Posted March 9, 2009 Author Posted March 9, 2009 Thanks everyone, it's comforting knowing you're all here if I need you. I haven't told many people yet, just my family. My brother's staying at my place tonight, he's very sweet. As for taking a day off, well, work is actually helping. It's better for me to focus on something else right now, I'd rather not be sitting around wallowing. Is it normally this painful, I mean, I was the one that broke it off. I'm not sure if it's normal. Okay, need to take another break from here.
Author Citizen Erased Posted March 9, 2009 Author Posted March 9, 2009 CE, we discussed this moment in a thread before, you remember...? Boy, hun, you must feel kinda stripped. but go back to that thread and remember what we all said. He's 9..... And take some time for yourself, sure enough. I remember. I got the cat, I no longer have to watch cricket. And I left my pajamas strewn across the bed this morning. I know the best thing for him right now is if I don't contact him. But he keeps sending me messages. I don't want to respond but I know if I don't return it he'll just get even more upset. I don't want to be cruel but if this place has taught me anything it's that I am the worst possible person to be comforting him. Anything I say will only give him false hope or hurt him even more.
Star Gazer Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 I'm sorry to hear this, CE. I've been in your BF's shoes, and must admit that it sucks a royal arse. But so does being in YOUR shoes. Many hugs to you. FWIW, I think you did the right thing.
Ronni_W Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 Is it normally this painful, I mean, I was the one that broke it off. I'm not sure if it's normal. Well, whether or not it is "normal", I certainly felt crappy (in pain) for a very long time, after. Even though I was also the one who realized that staying in the relationship was NOT going to further my deepest aspirations. Ten years later, I still know that my Intuition was accurate. But. It still sucks that my intuition was accurate. Hugs -- sometimes hugs makes things better. And sometimes...not. So, hopefully they will do that, now. Hugs, CE.
Author Citizen Erased Posted March 9, 2009 Author Posted March 9, 2009 Thanks Star. I really think I did the right thing too. Thanks for the hugs Ronni. I can take virtual hugs. Not so sure about IRL though, it'd probably just make me cry.
Star Gazer Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 Thanks Star. I really think I did the right thing too. Awww... don't be sad (easier said than done, I know)! In time, you will BOTH realize it was the best thing to do, and that you did BOTH of you a favor. In time, you'll look back at the good times in your relationship and smile, thankful for the experience. In time, you'll BOTH fall madly in love with other people. I know it.
jerbear Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 Hug a teddy bear. I'm serious. I would suggest jerbear but I'm serious on hugging a teddy bear at home.
Trialbyfire Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 While many members might disagree with me, it can hurt like an SOB, even when you're the one who has to exit a situation that isn't going to work in the long-term. Sometimes it takes a few tries to get it right. You want to do so many things in your life and you've still got A LOT of time to do them. I sincerely believe that this is the best thing for both of you.
D-Lish Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 Hi CE, I didn't even see this one coming! I know you've discussed immaturity in the past, but this came as a surprise. I hope you're doing alright. Really, there isn't anything anyone can say that will change how you feel right now. I hope it helps to know you can vent here. I've been on both ends, and it's a crappy feeling either way. You're a smarty pants though- and you obviously understand that the last two people that should be helping you guys through this break up is one another. I did that with my exH... we helped one another through our own break up and that only brought more pain and no room to heal. Since the break up is so fresh- I know how hard it must be to ignore him. My thoughts are with you.
Ronni_W Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 I can take virtual hugs. Not so sure about IRL though, it'd probably just make me cry. TOTALLY!!! Which is fine, too. This one time (years later), I was in a stoopid card shop and this stoopid song came on the stoopid muzak system and I broke down like I am some stoopid idiot with those stoopid shoppers looking at me as if I am a stoopid moron. Phukitt. NOTHING is "stoopid" at times like this. I just cried and cried. KNOWING that I had done the "best" thing, and the "right" thing, I cried anyway. Hugs. It sucks like nothing should have to suck.
Author Citizen Erased Posted March 10, 2009 Author Posted March 10, 2009 Hi CE, I didn't even see this one coming! I know you've discussed immaturity in the past, but this came as a surprise. I hope you're doing alright. Really, there isn't anything anyone can say that will change how you feel right now. I hope it helps to know you can vent here. I've been on both ends, and it's a crappy feeling either way. You're a smarty pants though- and you obviously understand that the last two people that should be helping you guys through this break up is one another. I did that with my exH... we helped one another through our own break up and that only brought more pain and no room to heal. Since the break up is so fresh- I know how hard it must be to ignore him. My thoughts are with you. It wasn't really about immaturity, I'd probably have to date people double my age otherwise. (ugh shuddering at the thought of dating. yuck). It was just that it wasn't what I wanted anymore. It is more cruel to stay with him knowing it wouldn't last. Yes, I know I need to leave him alone. I know how much he is hurting, it just seems to be so much more cruel to not answer him, he's having a hard time understanding all of this, to him it was quite sudden. And 4 years of being there for him, it's hard to break you know... Thanks D.
Author Citizen Erased Posted March 10, 2009 Author Posted March 10, 2009 You still have the UK trip. Yes, that I do. I may need to take it a bit earlier.
Recommended Posts