laRubiaBonita Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 A friend of my H and I came over to help with some work. He had to bring his daughter, she is 6. as he walks through the door he begins telling how bad she was today because she bought coloring books instead of reading books when she was specifically told what she could get at the book fair. So he is mad at her…. He didn’t even want to come over- as she was in trouble. He continues telling me what a bad girl she is, in front of her…. This went on for a good 5 minutes. He sits her on the floor- I insisted on a cushion cause the floor is cold. She is only to stare at the wall and do homework. After 30 min or so the daughter asks me if she can have some water and food. It was going on 7 pm, so I know she was starving…. She says her dad says she can only have water, bread, and turkey. I give her PB&J, apple and banana slices with milk. She says she is done with her homework, I make her recheck everything, twice. Her dad is still busy… so I bring her some reading books, after all- I am thinking, this is what she was supposed to buy. Fast forward…. My husband said the dad said, remind me never to bring my kid over when she is in trouble. I think he thinks I undermined his authority…… which I can sorta see, although it wasn’t intentional. But I also do not agree with how he berated his daughter- especially in front of my H and me… at his home is one thing, but I am not going to treat this child like poo, like her dad is. I hated being treated like that, why would I do it to some other little kid. Was I wrong…. Or was he? Or are we both? What would you have done?
Art_Critic Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 You were NOT wrong.. He was.. by leaving her in your presence in your home to watch over her, he effectively gave you the authority to feed her and give her reading material and even make sure she was doing okay and was content.. ( the basic necessities if you ask me ) You didn't undermine his authority at all being that it really didn't exist when he turned over the reins to you... It isn't like you were paddling her or some shiot.. I guess the only thing you can do is just make peace with him.. The next time she comes over you will be her friend
Author laRubiaBonita Posted March 9, 2009 Author Posted March 9, 2009 that is what i say... he can be a total d!ckwad to his daughter (and ruin her) in his house... in my house things are different! i mean i was not going to let the little girl go hungry. and it mad me grimmace just to hear how he spoke to her.... it made me feel so bad! he will get over it... i will let him know i did not mean to step on his toes, but his daughter doesn't need to harbor ill feelings against me- especially when i am not punishing her, nor am i mad at her. thanks Art! BTW, how's the parent 'hood?
Art_Critic Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 BTW, how's the parent 'hood? It's wonderful.. He just turned a year last week.. He is the cutest, sweetest kid.. he even has his own language now...He walks around holding toys and talks to you all about them.. hahaha 1 year down and 30 more to to go
Tyra Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 I don't think you were wrong in any way. It's not like you gave her video games to play and listen to music or anything. The only thing you did was gave her something to eat.Then to think that,what if you didn't have turkey or bread, then she would've been starving. Then you gave her some reading books,the things that the father wanted her to get from the fair,so he needs to get a grip. You wasn't wrong in my opinion.
TwinkletOes26 Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 Wow just wow he better watch it this is how strippers and porn stars are made. Daddy didnt support them so they seek validation and support from men. Maybe explain that to him
Mary3 Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 His anger seems extreme. Has he been watching too many prisoner movies ? Turkey and water ? Sounds like he wasn't treated the greatest as a kid. I would WATCH this family a little closer only in that you don't want the little girl to suffer cruel abuse later on. All THIS for what she did ? What about if she does something MORE severe ? You were right to step in. Never doubt that ! A proper punishment ( given the circumstance ) would be a time out in the corner for say 5 minutes. IN the corner you dont want them sitting on concrete slabs or swatting Black Widow spiders away. Its only temporary. It SHOULD NOT last for hours for where dinner is completely bypassed. Daddy has a screw loose !
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