Not the love ace Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 Well, I'm wondering whats possible or a good thing to do to remind your ex about the love you guys both shared when you were together, and the great times you had. Me and my ex still love each other but we haven't spoke in maybe two weeks almost. I was thinking of sending my ex (since we are in good terms) a present without her knowing and asking her mom to live it in her room on the bed when she gets home, so she can be surprised. Something really cool that she likes and I know she'll appreciate and love and hold dear to her. I was thinking it'll be a sweet thing and on top of that she'll know I still love her with all my heart and that I still have her in my thoughts. Even though she has another boyfriend I still want to buy her something that I'll know she enjoy and hopefully bring back a little spark to our relationship again. Not saying she's going to drop her boyfriend right then and there, but hopefully she'll think about me more. Especially since it'll be a piece of clothing that I am really positive she'll really enjoy and love. I don't know if this is a stupid move, or if it can possibly rekindle something, since like I said we are good terms and we still are in love with each other I'm hoping that this will bring things back to the way things were with me and her slowly and hopefully surely. What are you thoughts? Good or bad, but please don't hurt me feelings:(.
era Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 Even though she has another boyfriend. Okay, okay - I'll try not to hurt your feelings...but geez dude, are you maybe being delusional ?
Author Not the love ace Posted March 9, 2009 Author Posted March 9, 2009 Okay, okay - I'll try not to hurt your feelings...but geez dude, are you maybe being delusional ? ahahhaa. No. I'm very aware with her having another boyfriend. However I personally don't see the problem sending her a little present especially if were are still really close and on good terms.
Author Not the love ace Posted March 9, 2009 Author Posted March 9, 2009 Did she break up with you? I actually ended it because I found out she was pretty much fooling around with another guy behind my back. However I brought her the present a week before that ( we have a slight long distant relationship living 3 hours away and we only see each other at least 2 times a month) and was planning on giving it to her personally. I was going to give it to someone else but I don't know anyone else who would like it. Like I said we went through our B.S. and we still have plenty of love for each other. I know I shouldn't give it to her, but we all make mistakes and I guess I'm willing to forgive but not forget. If she does not thank me or anything I guess I'll just drop her completely...
Geishawhelk Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 Well, I'm wondering whats possible or a good thing to do to remind your ex about the love you guys both shared when you were together, and the great times you had. Me and my ex still love each other but we haven't spoke in maybe two weeks almost. If she's with someone else, it's a warped love on her part. Either that, or she's a player...... I was thinking of sending my ex (since we are in good terms) a present without her knowing and asking her mom to live it in her room on the bed when she gets home, so she can be surprised. Something really cool that she likes and I know she'll appreciate and love and hold dear to her. This is needy, creepy and clingy. If I was your ex (one) I'd guess, and (two) I'd be as angry as hell.....She's moved on, and really, I think this isd all about you finding a way to face it. But you don't want to. I was thinking it'll be a sweet thing and on top of that she'll know I still love her with all my heart and that I still have her in my thoughts. Even though she has another boyfriend I still want to buy her something that I'll know she enjoy and hopefully bring back a little spark to our relationship again. What relationship? What you actually want is for her to come slo-mo running through the meadow, arms out, and smiling, to tell you she made a big mistake and she loves you and no other. WAKE UP!! This is reality, and it's not going to happen!! Not saying she's going to drop her boyfriend right then and there, but hopefully she'll think about me more. Especially since it'll be a piece of clothing that I am really positive she'll really enjoy and love. She's trying to think about you less and less! She won't drop her BF. Why should she? I suspect she broke up with you, and you should be thinking of total No Contct, not being a sappy puppy..... I don't know if this is a stupid move, or if it can possibly rekindle something, since like I said we are good terms and we still are in love with each other I'm hoping that this will bring things back to the way things were with me and her slowly and hopefully surely. This is madness. When did she last tell you she loved you? In what circumstances? And if she loves you that much, why hasn't she made moves to ditch the new stud, and come back to you? If she's declaring she loves you, she's either lying to him, or lying to you. Or both of you. She might be holding you on the back-burner, so that if new young junior falls through, she's still got puppy-boy to tickle on the tummy...... happens all the time. ALL the time. people who break it off are very good at doing that. They'll yank your chain and throw you breadcrumbs - because they can....! What are you thoughts? Good or bad, but please don't hurt me feelings. Hurting your feelings is not the intention. Getting you to wake up and face facts, is the intention. You need to go complete No Contact and move on. You really want 'soiled goods' back, anyway? After she's been with you, then him - you now want that back.....? Oh man, wake up!!
Geishawhelk Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 I've just read you broke up with her because she cheated....? A lot of my post still stands - but actually, you have to let her go, and quit messing. She's with someone new (the guy she cheated with, or someone else again....?!?) If she's moved on - get the hint and do the same.
Island Girl Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 I actually ended it because I found out she was pretty much fooling around with another guy behind my back. However I brought her the present a week before that ( we have a slight long distant relationship living 3 hours away and we only see each other at least 2 times a month) and was planning on giving it to her personally. I was going to give it to someone else but I don't know anyone else who would like it. Like I said we went through our B.S. and we still have plenty of love for each other. I know I shouldn't give it to her, but we all make mistakes and I guess I'm willing to forgive but not forget. If she does not thank me or anything I guess I'll just drop her completely... You broke up with her -- GREAT MOVE!! You want to give her a present (although she cheated on you and treated you as though you were worthless) -- NOT A GREAT MOVE!! Do not give her the present. Give it to anyone else -- good will would put it to good use. FORGET HER. And please do not say "we still have love for each other" because that is a fallacy. If she loved you she would not have treated you so badly and would not have disregarded your feelings as she did. You need to forget the idea of her being anywhere NEAR your life and go NC completely. Move ON. She has already!!
3Strikes Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 Moving on is so hard though. Wife #2, who I still love very much (divorced 7 years and 2 kids) lives 1/2 mi away. She has a b/f who... get this, lives with a 24 y/o female "roommate" (he's 40). According to him, they used to be friends (with bennies), but just friends now. My ex actually buys this and is madly in love with him. Hell, I was a saint compared to this jerk. I want to be back with my ex so bad but she has said "NO" more than once. Been 7 years and it still hurts like yesterday. I feel like she's not even giving me a chance, We're friendly and all to each other, but she just won't even consider a reconcilliation. She also told me recently that she'd never even consider introducing me to any of her single friends. Her's the catch to all this. I'm 5 years in recovery (AA), but to her I'm permanently "damaged goods". It really sucks.
EasyHeart Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 Well, I'm wondering whats possible or a good thing to do to remind your ex about the love you guys both shared when you were together, and the great times you had. Me and my ex still love each other but we haven't spoke in maybe two weeks almost. I was thinking of sending my ex (since we are in good terms) a present without her knowing and asking her mom to live it in her room on the bed when she gets home, so she can be surprised. Something really cool that she likes and I know she'll appreciate and love and hold dear to her. I was thinking it'll be a sweet thing and on top of that she'll know I still love her with all my heart and that I still have her in my thoughts. Even though she has another boyfriend I still want to buy her something that I'll know she enjoy and hopefully bring back a little spark to our relationship again. Not saying she's going to drop her boyfriend right then and there, but hopefully she'll think about me more. Especially since it'll be a piece of clothing that I am really positive she'll really enjoy and love. I don't know if this is a stupid move, or if it can possibly rekindle something, since like I said we are good terms and we still are in love with each other I'm hoping that this will bring things back to the way things were with me and her slowly and hopefully surely. What are you thoughts? Good or bad, but please don't hurt me feelings:(. Do NOT give her a gift. She has a new BF. As long as she is with him, she is off limits. If she wanted to be with you, she would.
miss-jem-bishop Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 only you can make the right desion and yeah it is gonna be hard but if you wanna bring the little spark back and you feel it would help then i say go for it.. maybe a letter reminding her of memories that u know she loved! All i say to make you desion ask your self if she was gone 2moro forever.. wuld you regret not saying andything and doing your plan ?? if yes then you have answered your own question.. if no then you have still answered it! x
Geishawhelk Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 mis-jem, honey, with respect - you're reading too much Mills & Boon. You're very encouraging, but unfortunately, Life is real. Second third or fourth chances don't work. They don't work because frankly, it's easier to cheat than make the effort not to. Hate to say it, but you look young. Stick around and read for a while. You'll learn.
samspade Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 I was thinking of sending my ex (since we are in good terms) a present without her knowing and asking her mom to live it in her room on the bed when she gets home, so she can be surprised. Something really cool that she likes and I know she'll appreciate and love and hold dear to her. I was thinking it'll be a sweet thing and on top of that she'll know I still love her with all my heart and that I still have her in my thoughts. Even though she has another boyfriend I still want to buy her something that I'll know she enjoy and hopefully bring back a little spark to our relationship again. She fooled around on you and you want to reward her with a gift? And you want to give it to her on the sly, with her mother's cooperation? Excuse me, I just threw up in my mouth a little. Please, do yourself a favor and either return the gift or give it to someone who will appreciate it. A move like this reeks of EXTREME desperation. Breaking up with her was the right move. Walking away from someone is a tough decision and you are hereby commended for making it; it shows you have self-respect. Giving this gift will most definitely do damage to the face you've saved by ending things!! Perhaps you are feeling some regret because you are alone and she is with someone else. It's making you weak. Don't give in to the temptation. Now, I am not saying your ex wouldn't APPRECIATE the gift. She'll probably be very flattered. And that's the thing. SHE'LL get a nice ego boost, knowing you're still pining for her cheating a$$. Heck, she'll probably phone you and tell you what a great *friend* you are for being so cool about the whole situation! Maybe she and her new man will take you out to dinner. What it won't do is make her come back to you. If she cheated, her interest was already running on empty. Trying to impress her with a cheesy gift will only diminish her respect for you, and your respect for yourself. Move on.
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