Is this normal?

[Tryng2Trust08]

The way I have been feeling being broken up from my ex was the same feeling I had when we were together. I always thought it was because of him and I would feel free once we broke up, but I just don't, I feel the same, no better, no worse.

[Geishawhelk]

Yes.

It's called cold turkey, or withdrawal symptoms.

 

It happens.

you feel the void in your life, but it was filled by a dependency for something that damaged you.

 

Persevere.

it gets better.

 

Look, a very good exercise is to strip it bare.

Right down to its root.

Right to its source.

 

I find it a very effective exercise.

 

You just absolutely focus on how you're feeling.

Give it a name.

 

Fear. Insecurity. Absence. Sorrow. Grief. Hollow. Pit.

Mitch. Harry. Donna.

 

Call it what you want.

Then strip it further, and locate it.

Where is it in you?

Where is it lodged and harboured?

Where is it sheltering?

It could be one place. it could be two.

It could be two places linking.....

Feel it with your hands.

 

feel anything?

 

Possibly....

Ok, leave it....

Just focus on that location, and hone in on the energy.

This energy depletes you, so work on smashing it into pieces, or mentally blending it to a pulp and giving it less subtance.....

 

Call it by its name.

Thank it for teaching you how to feel, but tell it that it doesn't have a lot of time to shelter in you, and that it's growing weaker by the second.

 

And watch it diffuse, melt and become weaker and weaker.

 

 

Watch it vapourise, like smoke from an incense stick, or like a cloud melting in the sun.

 

 

Replace it, every time, with a rose. A blooming, beautiful, white-pink rose.

 

Do this every time you need to.

 

In time, all you'll see, is a beautiful flower......

[BCCA]

Ask yourself, honestly, was it him that you were looking to break up with, or was it what was going on in your life while WITH him that bothered you?

 

I see this happen all the time. People have some bad stuff going on that they dont want to deal with, so over time, it turns into the relationship being the source of all the problems. So you end it, and initially feel better, but then realize that the other problems are still there, and dumping the person got you nowhere but single.

[Tryng2Trust08]

I think I was feeling lonely even being with him and I kept thinking it would get better. Thanx Geisha for the advice, you always seem to help and it is MUCH appreciated! He has worn me down and I want to feel whole again and happy on my own again, I'm not being very patient with myself through this healing process, it will take time, and I know Im going to feel great when I am over him. Thanx again:)

[Tryng2Trust08]

Ummm...I do have a lot of issues in my life, I won't lie. I am in a transition, Im a single mom, and I go to school and work, so things do get overwhelming at times. I never felt like he quite understood this, he told me did, but honestly his actions would prove otherwise. I will give you an example...one time I was just broken down, and I ended up crying to him on the phone, I never involved him with my problems(I never did this, and this was like 7 months into dating him) I was just soo overwhelmed with paying bills and trying to keep up with my demanding schedule and I had finals coming up.

He did listen and was wanting to get off the phone the whole time. The next day I figured he would call in the am or send a text asking if I was ok, but nothing. Later that day we talked and he was making fun of me for crying..laughing about it.

Talk about hurting me. So, sorry to answer your question no it had nothing to do with outside influences, he did some very rude things and I was the one to blame, he always wanted me to pity him. To this day he will still say he never left me, but I guess he figured he could stay with me and treat me like crap, but he was here, right? He did soo many things to make me feel uncomfortable, he will never see it.