Why does she do this??

[danpickard]

To cut a long story short, my ex broke (18) up with me (19 1/2) in mid Jan after going out for just over a year because she said she couldnt deal with all thew arguing etc, when to be honest it was her starting most of it.

 

So we stay in contact, me still feeling like she's mine, then a few weeks later she tells me she's got a new boyfriend and has already slept with him, after saying 'I couldnt sleep with anyone for a long time except you'. How? I dont get how she can hop into bed with someone so quickly.

 

Whenever she wanted something from me, I always gave it to her, one of them being sex, one of them lending her money, and all i want is to be able to sit down and talk to her to tell her all my feelings etc so i can try and move on, but it seems like whenever i ask her if we can talk, she always says no and then makes me feel like crap by saying stuff like she dont wanna talk to me ever again, why is it ok for her to get what she wants and not for me? i dont get that.

 

So while she was going out with this dude alex she asks me for sex coz he's rubbish in bed, so i go give it to her (on Tue) , i didnt rele think much of it. Seemed to me like she didnt rele care about him that much if she wants me to f*** her while she's got a boyfriend. Makes me think did she do this to me? I see her the following day (Wed) for some lunch which she makes me pay for. I see her day after (Thurs) coz she rang me up crying after having an argument with her dad, this day also being her birthday so i go meet her and make her feel better. Why did she ring me and not her new man? i dont get that!

 

So after this i start to miss her and stay in the whole weekend mopeing about. Then we start talking about the sex we had on tuesday then she invites me over for some more the following tuesday (coz thats when she has an empty house) so i was meant to go there but her brother got sick so couldnt, kept feeling **** and she was ment to come to mine on the thursday so i could get all my feelings out (how i think she'd treated me unfairly how i miss her etc) but she didnt come over, which left me very angry.

 

She breaks up with alex and she goes to his so they can end things on good terms, she ends up sleepin with him, why she sleeps witha guy if she dont like or care about him i dont get. Then i found out she told him she loved him, and she wasnt sure if she meant it, if you quite clearly dont care about someone then why say it? I dont get that. Maybe its possible that she transferred her feelings from me to him and now is unsure if those feelings were rele for me or for him. While she's at his house he goes down her phone (didnt seem to me like she got very angry at him for doing this when I'd done it in the past she wouldnt talk to me for a few days, this i dont get!) and he sees the texts from me about me going round there to have sex with her (not the ones from the previous week) and she rings me up when im out with my friends not thinkin about her sayin he wants to fight me, I'd KO him but thats not the point. Then kept talking to her about all this stuff which makes me feel like **** again and back at square 1!

 

Why is it so hard for her to understand that i just wanna sit down and talk, get my feelings out and leave it at that and try my damned hardest not to contact her?

 

I hope someone can make me get all this stuff coz i rele dont

[Geishawhelk]

Why is it so hard for her to understand that i just wanna sit down and talk, get my feelings out and leave it at that and try my damned hardest not to contact her?

 

 

For the same reason it's hard for you to realise that she's an unhealthy peron, a player, a cheat and a liar, and that she's yanking the chain you gave her, and you're so good at picking up the breadcrumbs she's throwing.

You are 'Mr Interim' guy, 'Mr fallbackon' guy, 'Mr inbetween' guy, 'Mr will do for the moment' guy.

You're safe, familiar and relaible. if she wants sex, you will oblige. if she wants emotional support, you're it. Until the next guy.....

 

So, it's up to you now.

 

Do you want to keep being the patsy, and rolling over like a good dog, or are you gonna man up, grow some cojones, and resort to the Classic Number One Lovesghack Break up remedy?

 

That's complete, total, right-across-the-board, non-conditional, NO CONTACT!!

You wipe her from your PC memory and delete her address details and block all incoming.

You delete her number form your mobile phone, and if possible, block her sending you texts or leaving messages.

 

I can do this through my 'mobile phone & server....

 

If this fails, either change phone and don't tell her, or changer her caller ID from her name to 'Do not pick up!' or 'Delete this immediately!'

 

You cut her out of your life, and let her become someone else's problem.

 

But really:

You have to take responsibility too, for all this to-ing and fro-ing.

She's got away with it so far, because you've let her.

Your payoff has been the attention through the drama. It's fed your ego, because it's made you feel needed.

But this is a toxic situation.

It's unhealthy, damaging and ultimately, completely destructive.

 

so now - Choose.

[BCCA]

You have to take responsibility too

 

Took the words right out of my mouth.

 

The reason shes doing all this crap is because not only are you letting her get away with it, youre not even putting up any resistance. Seriously, someone tells you their bf is no good in bed, so you sleep with them? You do realize you were a willing participant to her cheating, which only makes her feel even more of an ego boost, right? And you can bet that whatever she said about him in bed was a total lie, otherwise they wouldnt be together.

 

She made you pay? No, my friend, you did it willingly. Dont be a patsy anymore. Have some self respect, this girl doest seem to be the least bit concerned about you or your feelings at all.

 

Why is it so hard for her to understand that i just wanna sit down and talk, get my feelings out and leave it at that and try my damned hardest not to contact her?

 

Because she doesnt care about your feelings. Her respect for you is so LOW, that she just wants to get whatever she can from you, and if you ever put a stop to it, shes already got another sucker waiting in the wings.

 

Dude, take a stand, grow a pair, ignore this crazy girl for good.