Clover Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 This guy I am seeing stood me up for the first time on Sunday because he slept in after a big night out in the city. He texted me later that afternoon and apologized. Also said he was just getting back into our local area, right at that time. I texted him back and wrote that he had to make it up to me. Still no reply back. . Was I over reacting? I ended up ringing him today. Just to suss it all out. But got no answer. . Might just leave it for now and let him contact me when he is ready too.
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 How long have you been dating? How old are you guys?
Author Clover Posted March 9, 2009 Author Posted March 9, 2009 Well, we've known eachother since November last year (he was the one after me), I finally gave in and decided to go out with him. We met through mutual friends. Who were more my age. They were the ones encouraging us to go out cause they knew how much he liked me and the fact that we are both single. We've been seeing eachother for about a month now. There is a bit of an age difference between us. He is 23 and I am 29. The texting thing frustrates me a little as well. Not getting back to me straight away. He has done that before too.
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 Huh. Well, I would have said the "make it up to me" comment in more of a joking way, but I have no idea what your context was when you sent the message. No way to tell if he could have been offended. When you called him, did you leave a message? If so, what did you say? When he's gone NC on you before, how long was it for and was there a reason that time or he just acted like nothing had happened?
Tony T Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 The guy is young and immature. If you're going to continue to see him you'll have to put up with crap like this for three to ten years, maybe more, until he grows up a bit. Even at that, some don't ever improve in the area of flakiness and dependability. You may as well not even consider it an issue because it comes with a mature woman dating a youngster. If you want the young ones you gotta put up with the bullshxt.
jadelil25 Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 I think you have over re acted for the first time that he has done it to you. I think you are best to leave it now and let the air cool down. Let him get back to you. That way you know that he is interested. He could just be busy at the moment or not ready to talk you at the moment. If he does it again then you have a reason to be annoyed and if he does it again then id say he is not ready to have a proper relationship and you need to move on.
D-Lish Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 At the age of 23, I'd continue to expect things like this from him. He stood YOU up- so why should you be the one ringing him to find out if he's mad at you? He should have called you as soon as he woke up and told you himself he would make it up to you. Expect Flaky, and expect more of the same. At 23, they don't know whether they are coming or going. Expecting to have a serious relationship is a fantasy. The best thing you can do is to wait for his call. Don't contact him again to ask what is wrong.... That just shows weakness and insecurity. Remember- HE stood you up.... you had a right to be mad about it. If he is now turning the tables and making this about your comment... don't play that game. DON'T! He was the jerk, and he's still being one. He owes you the phone call and explanation. It sucks when someone is being silent... so give it back to him.
Author Clover Posted March 9, 2009 Author Posted March 9, 2009 The funny thing is, all he's mates around my age, even one of the girl ones who is like in her mid 30's, have said that he is really sweet and mature. . That is why this behavior is surprising me. Then again he is a male. . That is what I would've done. Rang up as soon as I woke up that day and said I won't be able to make it if I planned to meet someone later on that day. Well, I could say it was meant to be in a joking way. You can't really tell in texts the content in them. I still told him how my weekend was (he asked that too), so I wasn't full on having a go at him. Still, if he felt bad about the whole thing, he would still make it up to me somehow. After I rang I just texted ring me back. I am not gonna contact him, till he does with me now. He just usually says he's busy when he doesn't reply. He usually gets back to me about one or two days later. Yeah, if the flakiness continues, I am not gonna put up with it for much longer.
bean1 Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 Clover, When a man truly cares about a woman, he could be stranded on top of Mount Everest without a cell phone and still find a way to call you back within a day or two. Stop accepting this rude treatment. Stop putting up with it NOW.
Author Clover Posted March 10, 2009 Author Posted March 10, 2009 You know he did care, he was sending emails every now and then. Asking how my day was. Even talking to my friends over the Net asking about me. I don't understand how someone can change how they feel about you so quickly. . Especially after making all that effort to get you to like them in the first place. It feels like a slap in the face. Usually everyone I have gone out with have been more upfront with what they want, so this is something different... I ended up turning him down twice the first two times he asked me out but he still kept at it. I should've stuck to my guns and stuck with no. But silly me went with "yes." Now he's just like "yeah, whatever." Don't think I will be going out with anyone under 25 again. Lol.
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