Peter_pan Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 basically, want to know from those who were with an ex for say a long term relationship 3 or more years and lived with them, even better if you two were first loves, and you guys broke up not because of cheating but to "see what was out there" and become more independent. if your ex went out with someone else within a month (which would be considered a rebound) what did you do? cause i went into NC. and never heard from her again. i found out 6 months later she wasnt with him, but later found out they got back together and now live with each other. anyways, just wanted to see what other people did, how you felt and how you handled the situation many thanks
lofi_tokyo Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 I was incredibly upset, lost for a while, for three months I did not go NC, then finally I did, the hurt remained for a long time, but I've now moved on. Stop stewing over this ;p
Author Peter_pan Posted March 9, 2009 Author Posted March 9, 2009 hey you well i know all about your story haha yeh i am fully aware i am gone in the head in the dept of moving on. to me this feels like divorce lol, we shard a house bought furniture and beds together lived with each other for 2 years. i think im addicted to pain of my past or certainly obsessed with it to an unhealthy level, or maybe i loved her on a level i never imagined
LostLamb Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 To be honest I did nothing.I didn't even mention her to him , even though I knew the day he met her for the first time and we were still in contact. I said on LS back in January that I didn't think she was a rebound as I saw her picture and they looked so alike it was almost funny/meant to be (she also shared many of my interests /personality traits from what I saw). They are still together 3 months on and I know they will be for a long time , my life is an irony filled absurd dream! I guess I do think about what I meant to him if he could move on so quickly but it doesn't matter because he's a fool when it comes to the heart.In 3 weeks he went from talking about babies with me to declaring love for a new gal. Funny. Almost
gwynieatpain Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 I found out I had been cheated on months after the break up. Does it count? Mine was a 5 yrs relationship and it did feel like a divorce when it was over. Not only because I was going to marry this guy and planning to move in with him, it was because I was introduced to his whole family and childhood friends. He made me felt like I was part of his family. I had once lived with him and his parent for half a year then I moved to the other state to continue my study. We got along very well, I kept on calling and visiting his family 2 to 3 times a year. It was hard to accept the break up. But once accepted I found that it was for the best to both of us. We had interest and lifestyles in common but we are standing at two polar ends in terms of core values. He said everything I wanted to hear, yet his action was telling me the opposite. I wasn't sure what I have done in dealing with this situation. 2 months after the break up I found that I had been cheated on. 4 months after the break up I knew they were over but still hooked up sometimes. I was told that their relationship was completely physical. Meanwhile I also found out that my ex kept on picking up random girls at pubs and bars and he had been doing it behind me since the last few months of our relationship. Now he's telling his friends that he's looking for "the one". Good on him. Honestly I could do nothing other than accept the fact that it was over. To think that he became a complete stranger to me was very very hard. He was once the most trustworthy person in my mind but see what he had done to me?! ... the break up only made me much stronger and braver as god gave me the chance to be freed from this moron and to relook at my shortcomings. I learnt from this experience and am not going to repeat the same mistakes again. I still have hopes that there's someone having the same wavelength as me and treating me with respect and love. I have friends and family who are backing me up 100% so I'm not going to rush into someone's arms, it's time for me to focus on and to better myself. I accept his decision to break up and to pursue the new side of his, but it is MY decision to kick him out of my mind. I cannot control over his action, I cannot stop him to mess around, I cannot make him to return my stuff, I cannot make him to come back (and why would I?) What else can I do? Cut all ties and move on. Never give him the chance to come back to my life or to hurt me by any of his cowardly acts. Whenever I heard from friends about his new romance I was like "Oh well, another girl again? Good on him and sorry for her." I'm sorry it's just the way I'm. I would never let anyone to walk over me.
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