Author LovieDove24 Posted March 11, 2009 Author Posted March 11, 2009 I realize that getting drunk and discussing my spirituality all on one forum may not fit into any kind of a neat little box. To be honest, I'm on a journey of betterment but that doesn't mean I've got it all figured out yet. AT NO TIME did I ever bring up my spirituality on this forum to make myself "better than" anyone else. Nor did I ever say I was anywhere close to being perfect. I've merely brought it up as something useful that has helped me and nothing more. And if you want to go so far as to retrace my steps, I've also stated I am still early on in my study of--and relationship with--God. I'd also like to make it completely clear that there was no sex, no below the belt action, no heavy petting, nothing but kissing of any kind. I will heed everyones advice that going to a strangers house drunk was unsafe. I can't disagree there. At the time my inhibitions were hindered and I figured I had the safety net of my sister being there with me. As for why I answered the phone? Because she deserved to know and I had no "ties" with the guy NOT to do so. I'm all about empowering the victim if I have the ability to do so. Her and I were very friendly on the phone, she was rational enough to see that he lied to both of us and neither of us were none the wiser. As for why I did not leave was because neither me or my sister had a car there...we got a ride there, remember? We desperately tried to call a few friends but none of them answered or couldnt get there quick enough. And I was not afraid of this girl going bat**** crazy on ME seeing as she was rational enough to see that I was merely a pawn too. It was he who was at fault. I am glad she saw it that way too because I hate when "the girlfriend" attacks someone in my shoes and not the sleazy man who could have avoided the mess by being honest. After all, at the end of the day, that is the one she is tied to and chooses to associate herself with. Therefore he is the one deserving of a confrontation and not the other girl caught up in it. To be honest, I'm reminded of Jerry Springer when I think of girlfriends hating on "the girl" instead of the damn boyfriend. I'm picturing thongs hanging out over too tight pants and hair being pulled every direction. Anyways thats my piece.
mr.dream merchant Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 I found myself being in the position of the "other woman" this morning and I really need to share this story because its crazy as hell! Sooo...last night my sister and I went out to a bar and got pretty tipsy. Neither of us could drive by the end of the night so we asked the cute guy who was flirting with me all night to please give us a ride home. He said sure but in a bit of a blur we realized by the time we arrived, we were actually at HIS house! Oh well, I thought, he's hot, and he was all over me sooo maybe I can get a little snuggle and smoochin action outta this! So I crashed in his bed we made out for a bit and went to sleep. The next morning I woke up to hear his phone ringing. I thought it was his alarm because he mentioned having to work early that morning so I picked it up to look at the time. I saw 9 missed phone calls from a girl named "Maggie." Thats weird I thought...thats gotta be a girlfriend or something. I actually asked him drunkenly the night before if he had one and he said no way. So as I'm trying to ponder this the phone rings again and on the caller ID it says her name and is a picture of a cute little blond girl our age. **** this totally was fishy, so I answered. I decided if it really was his girlfriend Im totally down to bust this slimeball. We talked for a minute and she began bawling. She's like, "Stay right there please, I'm coming over to bust his arse! Im not mad at you but please stay so I can have the proof." Apparantly they were dating for 2 1/2 years and she'd had suspicion he cheated before. All the while we were talking, cheater boy was sound asleep. I let her in the front door to go in the house and let him have it. It was a straight up showdown and the worst part was that I had no ride home to avoid the awkwardness! To be honest this girl was sweet as peas. And the guy was a complete arse about it. He's like "Well, well...you didn't call me last night!" And when she asked him why he said he didn't have a girlfriend he was like "Yeah maybe I didn't." The girl actually ended up giving me a ride home and I tried to comfort her. I had a boyfriend of three years cheat on me once so I shared my story. It really was heartbreaking . To witness two perfect strangers fall apart so drastically in front of your eyes. Wow, you sound pretty easy.
Author LovieDove24 Posted March 12, 2009 Author Posted March 12, 2009 Wow, you sound pretty easy. Are you referring to the fact that I went over to a guys house from the bar? Yes I agree with what other posters have said, that was not right...I was running on the assumption that having my sister there made it safer. But going to his house, that alone does not categorize me as easy. I already stated before, we kissed for about 5 minutes. Do I need to uppercase, bold and italicize that part?
Island Girl Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 I already stated before, we kissed for about 5 minutes. Do I need to uppercase, bold and italicize that part? Apparently yes.
Dexter Morgan Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 I'd also like to make it completely clear that there was no sex, no below the belt action, no heavy petting, nothing but kissing of any kind. You are in bed with a guy, inhibitions were down, and neither you or he took it further? Not even petting? I don't buy it. But I'll digress, lets say we give you the benefit of the doubt on this one....if thats all you did, then maybe the guy felt bad and didn't want to take it further because he has a girlfriend. Maybe he knew it was wrong and wanted to make sure nothing else happened. What you and he did was enough to consider it cheating, but he obviously had some self control to be in a bed with a woman and not want to play hide the sausage. As for why I answered the phone? Because she deserved to know and I had no "ties" with the guy NOT to do so. I'm all about empowering the victim if I have the ability to do so. Her and I were very friendly on the phone, she was rational enough to see that he lied to both of us and neither of us were none the wiser. You had no business even LOOKING at his phone. This is not a guy you are dating....this was a drunken one night stand. And like I said, if what you said is true and that there wasn't even any heavy petting...he might have realized he didn't want to go further because he has a girlfriend. Again, what he did was bad enough, but you had NO BUSINESS looking at his phone much less answering it. What would you do if a guy came over and made out with you...the next morning you walk in and find him looking through your phone. You don't know the guy from crap, yet he is snooping through your phone. you'd go apesh#t unless he was a hot guy and you didn't want to rock the boat...but it would still piss you off. If not, you must not care much about controlling people. As for why I did not leave was because neither me or my sister had a car there...we got a ride there, remember? We desperately tried to call a few friends but none of them answered or couldnt get there quick enough. You don't need a car to walk out of the room or apartment. And I was not afraid of this girl going bat**** crazy on ME seeing as she was rational enough to see that I was merely a pawn too. It was he who was at fault. You are correct there.
Dexter Morgan Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 I already stated before, we kissed for about 5 minutes. Ok, so you kissed for 5 minutes. Bad enough. But what was the reason it didn't go any further? You guys fall asleep? Did he stop for any reason? Did you stop him? Because again, being in bed with a "hot guy" and only kissing for 5 minutes doesn't make much sense.
AAlike Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 You are in bed with a guy, inhibitions were down, and neither you or he took it further? Not even petting? I don't buy it. But I'll digress, lets say we give you the benefit of the doubt on this one....if thats all you did, then maybe the guy felt bad and didn't want to take it further because he has a girlfriend. Maybe he knew it was wrong and wanted to make sure nothing else happened. What you and he did was enough to consider it cheating, but he obviously had some self control to be in a bed with a woman and not want to play hide the sausage. I don't understand the point of the witch hunt here, Dexter. I don't understand why she'd lie in the first place, and even if she had had sex with him, I don't really see how it changes the point much - unless the point is to attack her for having sex while single, something that, last I checked, is completely her choice and also completely permissable for an adult. You had no business even LOOKING at his phone. This is not a guy you are dating....this was a drunken one night stand. And like I said, if what you said is true and that there wasn't even any heavy petting...he might have realized he didn't want to go further because he has a girlfriend. Again, what he did was bad enough, but you had NO BUSINESS looking at his phone much less answering it. However, this I completely agree with. Regardless of what you suspected, it doesn't make answering his phone acceptable. period. What if she had come to the door? Would you have answered that? You don't need a car to walk out of the room or apartment. Exactly!! I would have hitchhiked or something just to get out of there!! and it's mighty naive to believe that only on Jerry Springer do people that come FACE TO FACE WITH THE PERSON THAT JUST WOKE UP WITH THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHER act irrationally! in fact, I consider myself rational almost to a fault, and that might be one time where I could see myself doing some craziness. I dunno - I guess you're lucky that your hunch was correct and you and his GF were able to strike such a harmonious bond, but that's a risk that I personally would not want to take. Also, you never answered my question - what was his reasoning behind you "ending up" at his house?
AAlike Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 Ok, so you kissed for 5 minutes. Bad enough. But what was the reason it didn't go any further? You guys fall asleep? Did he stop for any reason? Did you stop him? Because again, being in bed with a "hot guy" and only kissing for 5 minutes doesn't make much sense. What does any of this matter? How does any of it change the purpose of the story? Dexter you make a lot of very good points but I think they can get undermined by your desire to judge people, even in threads where the judgement is completely unrelated to the point of the thread.
Author LovieDove24 Posted March 12, 2009 Author Posted March 12, 2009 However, this I completely agree with. Regardless of what you suspected, it doesn't make answering his phone acceptable. period. What if she had come to the door? Would you have answered that? I was not snooping through his phone let me get that straight. Like I said before, I thought it was his alarm going off on his phone, he had mentioned the night before that he had to get up super early. It kept ringing and ringing incessantly--almost at intervals of every five minutes. Hence me thinking it was an alarm. So I reached over to grab it and give it to him and right there on the front screen was a picture of a blond girl blowing a kiss at the camera. Below the picture it said "9 missed calls 'Maggie.'" Of course I assumed it was his girlfriend and--having been in her position myself and cheated on--felt compelled to help her. I did that girl a favor...she could have traveled on for years longer without knowing her boyfriend had bad intentions. When I was cheated on I had wondered why the girl had waited so long to tell me (we knew some mutual people and occasionally saw each other). You DON'T have to agree with what I did--none of it. The phone, the drinking, the not leaving his house. Exactly what would you like me to do about it now? Should I give you a play-by-play, down-to-the-minute explanation of every other PAST event in my life so you can dissect what I've done wrong there too? I make mistakes, I think we can all agree on that. But so do you...and we should all agree on that too. I'm done expanding, explaining or defending anymore of this story. Good night.
Dexter Morgan Posted March 13, 2009 Posted March 13, 2009 I don't understand the point of the witch hunt here, Dexter. I don't understand why she'd lie in the first place, and even if she had had sex with him, I don't really see how it changes the point much - unless the point is to attack her for having sex while single, something that, last I checked, is completely her choice and also completely permissable for an adult. No, point was is that she is claiming "all" they did was kiss. Ok, fair enough even if I don't buy it. But she answered his phone as if they were a couple when it might be expected she'd look at his phone once in a while. "All" they did was kiss. Not exactly a good prerequisite for snooping on a guy she just met.
Dexter Morgan Posted March 13, 2009 Posted March 13, 2009 What does any of this matter? How does any of it change the purpose of the story? Dexter you make a lot of very good points but I think they can get undermined by your desire to judge people, even in threads where the judgement is completely unrelated to the point of the thread. I could care less if they had sex or not. But it gets down to why she felt compelled to answer the phone. Was this guy a perv and couldn't keep his hands off her, thus she felt some need to pry into his personal life? Or, even though bad enough in my opinion, was kissing the worst thing that happened that night, and he may have stopped realizing he would be crossing the line even moreso than he already has. In other words, she didn't seem to think that they did much, yet felt compelled to interfere in his personal life. But I digress...cheaters need to be outed.
mental_traveller Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 Sounds crazy, but who are you to bust him? You're acting like you did nothing wrong. You got wasted and drunkenly asked him if he had a gf, of course he said no so you fooled around with him. You didn't actually bother to get to know him at all before doing so, and had you done so you probably would of found out about the gf. I'm not saying this guy didn't mess up big time, but when you're saying "ohh i was down to bust this slimeball" I mean, it takes two people to make out, etc. Lol. The guy lied to her, lied to his gf, exposed both him and his ex to STDs, and you think *she* is in the wrong? You need to read a book on morality man.
mental_traveller Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 Well if you read the posts to which I respond...I think it speaks for itself. Oh come on now, you got caught braggin about a guy you banged in a pointless thread. Own it. Yeah right. She was just describing a crazy situation. If she'd been bragging she would have said how the sex was amazing, how better looking she was than the gf, how easy it was for her to get guys like that.
mental_traveller Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 Let's see.... 1. You go to a bar. 2. You get drunk. 3. You go home with a guy and have sex. 4. And then you find that he has a GF. So drunken decisions lead to possible disaster. As has been said, it could have been literally your death. As my dad would say, what did you learn from this? How does this fit into your spiritual journey as a Christian? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t182461/ Since when have christians not got drunk or had sex with people? Lol. Even Jesus turned water into wine, and quite possibly had sex with a whore (Mary Magdalen).
boxing123 Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 Why is it your business to answer his phone? Are you some stalker? Seriously.. If I went home with a girl I just met, I would answer HER phone, and "bust her"? Who do you think you are? It is sex, grow up. If you cannot handle casual sex, then do not have it. You do not rule his life because you wanted to open your legs. You are just some easy chick he met at the bar. He was nice enough to give you a ride home, a place to stay, and YOU decided to sleep with him. He should have just had sex with you and kicked your psycho ass out on the street to walk home. You also seem to have some inner satisfaction for messing 2 peoples lives up. Like you are happy and proud of it. It has happened to me before.. Spent the night with a girl I just met, and her boyfriend was leaving messages in the morning. What kind of a sadistic creep would I have to be to grab her phone, answer it, and tell the guy to come over? Then brag about it on LS?
Author LovieDove24 Posted May 24, 2009 Author Posted May 24, 2009 Ha, just re-reading through some of the previous threads I have and find it funny how a month after I posted this people were STILL commenting on it and accusing me of having sex with the dude. Did I NOT state multiple times that there was NO sexual activity of any kind that was had? People really like throwing flames around here.
missdependant Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 Why anyone would want to be involved in such drama, is beyond me. So, you knew the guy for one night (a drunken night, I might add) and took it upon yourself to answer his phone? Maggie could have been anyone.. his sister, his best friend, a study-buddy... All I can say is I wouldn't be too thrilled if some random person was tampering with MY phone. No, it's not your fault he lied.. but you did a great job of cranking up the drama in the situation. Good job. Drama, drama, drama.
MichelleS1983 Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 Yes Lovie, it would appear an awful lot of people here have serious problems with their reading comprehension skills. The FIRST time I read your post, I GOT that you didn't have sex. Give me a gold star, eh? Secondly, I'm cracking up at the ridiculous accusations of you being a "stalker" and all the other friggen nonsense people are spewing at you. The lying scumbag brought you to his home on false pretenses. Admittedly, I don't do drunken one-night stands but alot of women DO, so the last thing I'm going to do is beat you down for that. Your life, your choice. Weather it included sex or not is immaterial. You're an adult and can make your own choices. What people fail to understand is that once someone is CONNED, all bets are off. You didn't OWE this skuzz anything. Clearly, whoever was continually calling that morning - 9 times in a ROW - was NOT calling to just say hello, nor was it someone from the auto parts store letting him know his parts were in. Your gut read the situation exactly as it WAS - someone was clearly desperate to get in touch with this little weasel and she wasn't going to STOP ringing his phone until she got an answer. I, for one, don't care HOW you busted his sorry, loser ass. I'm just glad you DID. Now this poor girl - whose been with this a*ss for 2 1/2 years - has been given the gift of SIGHT and can decide how she wants to go forward instead of being continually lied to deceived. I'm sure there are TONS of people here who WISH they'd been given the gift of sight long before they married - and bred with - the cheater they're stuck with NOW. You did the girl a HUGE favor. Who cares how it all came about?
You'reasian Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 I was not snooping through his phone let me get that straight. Like I said before, I thought it was his alarm going off on his phone, he had mentioned the night before that he had to get up super early. It kept ringing and ringing incessantly--almost at intervals of every five minutes. Hence me thinking it was an alarm. So I reached over to grab it and give it to him and right there on the front screen was a picture of a blond girl blowing a kiss at the camera. Below the picture it said "9 missed calls 'Maggie.'" Of course I assumed it was his girlfriend and--having been in her position myself and cheated on--felt compelled to help her. I did that girl a favor...she could have traveled on for years longer without knowing her boyfriend had bad intentions. When I was cheated on I had wondered why the girl had waited so long to tell me (we knew some mutual people and occasionally saw each other). You DON'T have to agree with what I did--none of it. The phone, the drinking, the not leaving his house. Exactly what would you like me to do about it now? Should I give you a play-by-play, down-to-the-minute explanation of every other PAST event in my life so you can dissect what I've done wrong there too? I make mistakes, I think we can all agree on that. But so do you...and we should all agree on that too. I'm done expanding, explaining or defending anymore of this story. Good night. All you did with this man was kiss him for 5 minutes and you felt compelled to answer his phone? The pleasure of answering the phone and the pain of leaving it alone makes this sound like there's more to the story. best of luck with the next guy?
Mycroft Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 Why are so many here always looking for anyone to talk down to? Are your own lives so empty you need to do this to feel better about yourself? Its really tiring. Whether or not what she did was right, she did not ask for advice. I took this as some entertainment for us(which might be selfish of me lol). Let people share freely. If you want to share youre opinion on the situation you should also feel free, and hey, you might as well try to be constructive! Don't be one of these posters who hardly reads the thread but RUSHES to attack. Its becoming way too common and its pathetic.
You'reasian Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 Why are so many here always looking for anyone to talk down to? Are your own lives so empty you need to do this to feel better about yourself? Its really tiring. Whether or not what she did was right, she did not ask for advice. I took this as some entertainment for us(which might be selfish of me lol). Let people share freely. If you want to share youre opinion on the situation you should also feel free, and hey, you might as well try to be constructive! Don't be one of these posters who hardly reads the thread but RUSHES to attack. Its becoming way too common and its pathetic. I hope I didn't come across as attacking, I didn't say anything offensive in my last response. I want to understand the situation - as its hard to misinterpret tone on the internet. What I'm trying to understand is the link between the random, making out at a stranger's house and picking up the phone of a complete stranger?
Mycroft Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 If it means anything I wasn't directing that at you. Or really, anyone in particular in this thread. I would just prefer this place to be more understanding and thoughtful. A place where people put themselves WAY out there, looking for serious advice, shouldn't be a place to be attacked. Of course I've seen some who deserve some "attacking", but they are very few and far between.
White Flower Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 I, for one, don't care HOW you busted his sorry, loser ass. I'm just glad you DID. Now this poor girl - whose been with this a*ss for 2 1/2 years - has been given the gift of SIGHT and can decide how she wants to go forward instead of being continually lied to deceived. I'm sure there are TONS of people here who WISH they'd been given the gift of sight long before they married - and bred with - the cheater they're stuck with NOW. You did the girl a HUGE favor. Who cares how it all came about? Just curious MS, Did you give the gift of sight to your exMM's W?
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