aerov2 Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 This is really long, I'm sorry, but please read it, and help me. I truly thank you! I know this girl for about a year now. Last year, I met her while playing tennis at school, and lucky enough to be her partner for a day, and I felt for her that day, she is very beautiful and cute, I'd say she fit my idea of a prefect girl. (I'm a senior at a high school and she's one grade below me.) We didn't see each other very often that time, and I asked her to the prom, and she said yes (happiest day of my life!). We went but she said she doesn't want to dance, so we didn't dance, and she was talking to her friends the entire time. For the past month, I've been really in love with her, and I tried to talk to her as many time a possible. I asked her out on a weekend after her birthday, and she said she has family coming over, so she couldn't go out. And about one month later, I asked her out again, it was right before thanksgiving, and she said she's going out of town, so we couldn't go out again. After that, I thought she doesn't like me, so I held myself away from her, and ignored her for a week or two, and she begun trying to talk to me, and be really nice to me. So I thought she likes me, and started seeing her again. On last Friday, I asked her out to a hockey game, she thought about it and said she had to finish her paper, and I said please try to make it, she said she'll call me. On Saturday, we went to tennis practice together, and before leaving, I came up to her and asked her if she could go out, she said she can't. And I asked if she wants to go out with me at all or just don't have the time, and she said something made my life so horrible, she said she just wants to be friends, she said I'm really nice and we can still be friends. I was very sad at that moment, and just said okay, and left. What should I do? I'm planning on just ignore her for a coupe of weeks, and try to connect with her again. I really love this girl and I really don't want to lose my chance of getting together with her. I don't know why she rejected me, she never had a boyfriend, and maybe she just doesn't want to date anyone at all, but all I know is that she doesn't want me. By the way, maybe I was being to desperate, I don't really need a girlfriend, I just really like her, and I was being very nice to her. For example, one day, I noticed her left tennis practice early, and I text her to see if she's okay, and she hurt her leg. And there's so many of those little things I did for her, maybe I was looking pretty desperate, but just really care about her, I don't know how is that a bad thing. And another thing is that because I really care about her, I always act so serious in front of her, that might made her think I'm a boring person, but I'm really not, all my friends and prove that. I wanted to go out with her along once, so I could be relaxed and as well as she, and we could get to know each other better, but she never gave me the chance...And another thing, she rarely joke with me. On Friday after I asked her out, she came to tennis practice, and I was sitting on a bunch, and there was some girls talking with a gay guy(maybe he's not gay, we kind of assume guy who talks only to girls are gay...he probably not gay at all...or just a lady's man), and the girl I like came to him, and said: "will you marry me?" and the gay said "I only marry smart girl" which shows he's probably not gay. You can probably imagine how I felt, I was very upset, I know she's probably joking, but it was not very funny to me...come on, the same afternoon she said she'll consider going out with me and asked a guy to marry her...how fitting....God...I was very upset about that. And the next day, she totally rejected me.... Like I said, I don't want to give up, but I don't want to annoy her neither. I know relationships make time, even though I'm graduating in 3 month, I don't mind get together with her in the future. I consider myself as a very loyal person. At the mean while, I will try to be her friend as long as I can, and if she's not go with anyone else, I really want to ask her to the prom again, probably as friends, at least that want I'm going to make her feel. Please advice me want to do, I don't know if she just testing me or what, I will do what ever it takes to get together with her. If she just doesn't like me(I'm like ugly or anything like that...), I still want to be friends with her, she's a really nice girl. P.S: AH, if you are reading this, I just want to say, please please reconsider your decision, at least give me a chance proving you that I could be a good boyfriend. I Love you!
mikesierra Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 I'm going to tell you probably what everyone else will tell you. You're young. You have a lot to look forward to. Don't worry about her, concentrate on the future, think about all the uncertainty of the next few years and the excitement that comes with it. You will experience new things as an adult and you will look back on this and laugh. I won't say that you're not in love, but you're young... you don't even really know yourself yet, at least not outside of a sheltered environment. Love now is different than love later. Right now it is satisfying, but later it will be fulfilling. We've all been in your shoes I'm sure. I remember mine. She was a sophomore, I was a senior. My school was very cliquey so I knew it wouldn't happen. I never asked her out. Just be satisfied knowing that you did what you could. She is not going to be with you, no matter how much you love her or what you do for her. Maybe it's true that she doesn't realize how fun you are, but I bet she's young and self-absorbed.
Author aerov2 Posted March 8, 2009 Author Posted March 8, 2009 Thank you for your reply, I know I'm still young, and inexperienced, but I've living by myself since I was 16(I didn't get kick out of my family, my family has to work in a different country, and I want to stay in the US and finish school, and I think I'm responsible, and my parents believe that too.) Because of my self living condition, I have to go though a lot of stuff in live. There's time I had no money and food and had to work to survive. This girl really in some way gives me energy to overcome a lot of the troubles I had to face, well, she doesn't know that. I'm not a giving up person, I like her to the heart of heart and I will try this one more time. If it doesn't work, I might meet someone in college or later in life. Or I could go back to her in the far future. Yes, she's young, probably immature even for her age(she's 17), and like you said self-absorbed. I know I'm not the ideal boyfriend for a 17-year-old girl, maybe she wants so good looking football player, so she could be proud in front of her friends. I don't know the reason, and don't really want to know, it would only hurt me more. My plan is simple, stay cool, and leave her along for a while, so she could see if she really like me or not. And after that, if she wants me, I will probably just act normal and go out with her to see if we are good together. If she stay keeps her decision, I will probably just hang out with her a friend. And move on with my life, if possible, get together with her, or just stay as friend forever. I kind of, and kind of not want to be her friend, she broke my heart, and friends don't do that. But I really like her, still want to see her around. Anyway, I'll live my life with or without her.
mikesierra Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 I see your dilemma. Well I would say that your situation has advanced you beyond her maturity level. You are in two different worlds. I'm not saying this to crush your dreams or anything, you can try as many times as you'd like, but I'm saying this as a warning... I know you want to hope that she'll come around, but she won't.
Author aerov2 Posted March 9, 2009 Author Posted March 9, 2009 well, some news, she text me and said she still wants to be friend with me, and she's sorry for hurting my feelings. I haven't reply yet, and really don't know what to say, I really want her to change her mind, but don't really know how to response to her text message...
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