confusedandempty Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 Hey - I met a wonderful girl last summer through a mutual friend. We met at an exchange program last summer and bonded right away. We were flirting constantly last summer and both have continued doing so on Facebook and AOL since then. The problem is that she took a job in a tiny village hundreds of miles away - an offer she couldn't refuse. It's her hometown and most of her relatives live there So I decided to play it cool. Keep her interested by chatting (a little bit) on AOL. Don't wanna contact too much as that might be the way into the friends zone. As time has progressed I have realized that she is probably doing the same thing. My friend asked me the other day: "Who is this girl?? - she is flirting like she's your girlfriend - if you can't see that you're blind!!" This is exactly my strategy. Play it cool but stay in touch in a flirty way and kind of "wait" for her until she comes back to the city. This has been working quite well for the past months. I went to a party last night, at our mutual friend's house. I was feeling quite empty all the time - and realized when I got back home that I really missed having her there. We spent time partying, studying, relaxing and just about everything last summer - and when I met the same crowd again I, like I said, realized that I miss her terribly. My situation is really bad now. Due to the economic situation in my area, she is definitely not gonna move here anytime soon as there is no job to find here. And myself, I am looking to go abroad to get my M.Sc. degree as the future here is hopeless. So I just don't know what to do. I've been thinking about going to the same city as I spent last summer I as they have an excellent university there which I've already been accepted in. But I'm really afraid that by doing that I'm gonna miss not having her there (like last summer) and more importantly, afraid that we won't meet for the next years. My only chance to meet her now is when she comes to the city, but in the future ... I won't be here. I just don't know what to do. I can't stay here but I'm afraid to lose her for good if I go. We're both 26 years old. I'm sick of my partying lifestyle. All of my friends are settling down with their gf's and having kids and I was hoping to change my life to something similar and I see her as an excellent material. I'm so confused :-(
Dawn26 Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 My heart aches for you!!! Do whatever you have to get to her. Real love sometimes visits once in a lifetime, so if you feel deep inside of you that you love her then do what u have to do!! Than again I'm a hopeless romantic...
mikesierra Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 that game does work quite well but it will only get you so far. It's time to tell her how you feel. long distance sucks. if you think it's love, then you'll lose by continuing to play that game. you might lose anyway, but you don't wanna wonder what if. tell her how you feel, because maybe she feels the same way. but you won't come to an agreement to go out of your way to see each other unless there's a good reason. and you have not given her one.
Author confusedandempty Posted April 15, 2009 Author Posted April 15, 2009 I hate this life sometimes, I just hate it! Here’s the situation one month later. She called me few days ago to ask me for a help on some bank related problams as she knew I had experience. Since then we have talked a little bit on MSN and Facebook again. She told me yesterday, that she was coming to the city next weekend as she is starting some distance learning program AT MY UNIVERSITY! That means that she will be coming here one weekend every month. But here’s the beauty of it all; I got an acceptance letter to my 1st priority M.Sc. program few days ago. So that is going to happen, I will be moving abroad in August. (note. Abroad in Europe means that it only takes 3-4 hours to fly home though :-). It’s just a bit frustrating that she tells me about her new program 200 feet away from my home – in the same week she tells me that, I know for sure that I will be moving away :-) She asked me if I wanted to meet on Friday or Saturday, as we haven’t met in about 3 months and she was unfamiliar with the school ground. I told her to call me, and that I would be on campus for the whole weekend as I have exam on Monday. So I’m just not sure what to do. She asked if I wanted to meet her (even called it a date, though we use that word freely over here). I’m just not sure if she is asking for a date or for a sightseeing at the campus. She also asked if I wanted to go party with her and some friends on Saturday. I still have this exam on Monday – but I could go and only have 1-2 beers. That should be alright, I’m always the life of the party, even when I’m sober. I usually don’t get stressed up ... but her coming here during the weekend sure is stressing me up and I hardly can concentrate on my exam. So what do I do??
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