Women's age requirments on dating sites

[Jada]

Yes I was kind of p**sed when I recieved replies from older males when I specifically stated the age group I was looking for, I personally would not like to date a guy 10 years older than me even if I do find some attractive, I would like a guy my own age or a few years older, a few years younger would be fine have been contacted before by one but no more. As for guys having children of their own that's fine, I've had a 10 year relationship and he had a daughter, didn't make any difference.

[K-chan]

Older women want younger men and younger women want older men. That's how I see it. I personally find older men attractive. They're more experienced. They know how to provide for themselves. I love a man who is financially secure. Even though, I'm young, my dream has been to fall in love with a man 6 - 12 years older than me, marry him, and become his perfect wife. Because, in my opinion a man is in his prime when he's 26 - 42. As for older women wanting men this age, I understand. I can't wait until I turn 18 so I can finally start pursuing older men. If I was in my late twenties, I would think about dating a 50 year old man if he was attractive to me. I guess there's not a lot of girls like me, though.

[Ocean-Blue]

Sometimes I wonder if people have lost all common sense these days.

 

I am 32, and receive lots of emails from women in their 40's. I look at their profiles, and they are seeking a long term relationship. If they are 45, their age range might be something like 30-45.

 

Do they really think younger, single men with no children want to settle down with a woman with children whom is almost 50?

 

This works for men, but the trade off for women is financial security. And men can still have children.

 

But these women expect men to look past age, even though they obviously cannot themselves? And of course they would not be offering the younger man financial security either..

 

Perhaps society has deluded women into thinking age does not matter to men. Sure, lots of younger guys will have sex with them, but for a long term relationship? Seems like fantasy land.

 

I have never seen the appeal of younger men. I am simply not attracted to men who are younger than me.

 

These women must be really desperate.

 

Why do you bother with dating sites? Haven't you mentioned, on numerous occasions, that you have lots of options, as far as women go? So why go through the seemingly unappealing route of online dating?

 

Back to my original point... I can't date a younger guy. I just can't see myself marrying down like that. Women marry up. In every sense of the word. I'll be damned if I date a younger guy.

 

And FYI: most of my gfs feel this way.

 

But I guess if you're desperate, you'll go after anything.

 

EDIT TO ADD: I also wouldn't marry a much older man. I like dating guys who are around MY age. Not older, not younger.

 

Boxing, dude, you need to get laid, FAST. I know you've gotten burned by many women before, but just pick yourself up and keep on going. Berating women and bleating on about how old we get and how sag-destined we are does nothing for your sweet, little cause. Let it go.

 

Or invest in some enhancement devices. Pop enough of those pills and maybe something will grow. Maybe you'll learn to love women again, if ever you did.

[Jersey Shortie]

Older women want younger men and younger women want older men. That's how I see it. I personally find older men attractive. They're more experienced. They know how to provide for themselves. I love a man who is financially secure. Even though, I'm young, my dream has been to fall in love with a man 6 - 12 years older than me, marry him, and become his perfect wife. Because, in my opinion a man is in his prime when he's 26 - 42. As for older women wanting men this age, I understand. I can't wait until I turn 18 so I can finally start pursuing older men. If I was in my late twenties, I would think about dating a 50 year old man if he was attractive to me. I guess there's not a lot of girls like me, though.

 

Sometimes that's true, sometimes it's not. I don't mind dating older men but I have learned that men in their 50s that are older are different then men in their 30s that are older. And you won't be thinking about it now but what happens when you are 50 and he is 70? You are going to be taking care of him. I see it with my mom. My mom is 51 and taking care of my 67 year old father who doesn't take care of himself. She is still young and wants to do fun things and he has no interest in it anymore. It makes her sad. So older men can be great. But there are also certain realities that don't make older men attractive as well.

[stepka]

I have never seen the appeal of younger men. I am simply not attracted to men who are younger than me.

 

These women must be really desperate.

 

Why do you bother with dating sites? Haven't you mentioned, on numerous occasions, that you have lots of options, as far as women go? So why go through the seemingly unappealing route of online dating?

 

Back to my original point... I can't date a younger guy. I just can't see myself marrying down like that. Women marry up. In every sense of the word. I'll be damned if I date a younger guy.

 

And FYI: most of my gfs feel this way.

 

But I guess if you're desperate, you'll go after anything.

 

EDIT TO ADD: I also wouldn't marry a much older man. I like dating guys who are around MY age. Not older, not younger.

 

Boxing, dude, you need to get laid, FAST. I know you've gotten burned by many women before, but just pick yourself up and keep on going. Berating women and bleating on about how old we get and how sag-destined we are does nothing for your sweet, little cause. Let it go.

 

Or invest in some enhancement devices. Pop enough of those pills and maybe something will grow. Maybe you'll learn to love women again, if ever you did.

Thank you thank you--the OP has managed to thoroughly offend me, though I would have never been one of those women to write to him--maybe he's just sore that not enough women of his own age are contacting him. I'm completely attracted to men of my own age and would never contact someone even ten yrs younger, but the real problem is that the OP just hates women period and that shows, so only the desperate ones are contacting him. Maybe the ones who'd have to pay for it otherwise.

[MN randomguy]

Everyone in this thread needs to relax. I don't understand why you'd be offended by another's preferences?

 

I've talked to people who prefer a certain race, there's heated threads on this forum about preferring a certain height. I don't think getting PO'ed is going to change that.

 

I don't know if the site will let you block people who don't meet your requirements. I tried it once and respected the women's preferences. Many my age only wanted older men. Whatever, that's their right.

 

There are gold diggers, that's legal too. Why would you want one.

 

These women shouldn't be so down on a guy being honest about why he's not interested. I've learned just to say that I'm not interested and not give a reason.

 

I think that the O.P. does have a point of what I call the Carrie Bradshaws of the datin world. They think that they can play the field into their 40s then find a nice 20 something guy that is into them an settle down.

 

A. two words: Biological clock, just not healthy/natural to try to get preggers later in life.

 

B. If you respect your future husband you give him your best. Not what's leftover after the players are bored with you.

[chrislovestosurf]

Older women want younger men and younger women want older men. That's how I see it. I personally find older men attractive. They're more experienced. They know how to provide for themselves. I love a man who is financially secure. Even though, I'm young, my dream has been to fall in love with a man 6 - 12 years older than me, marry him, and become his perfect wife. Because, in my opinion a man is in his prime when he's 26 - 42. As for older women wanting men this age, I understand. I can't wait until I turn 18 so I can finally start pursuing older men. If I was in my late twenties, I would think about dating a 50 year old man if he was attractive to me. I guess there's not a lot of girls like me, though.

 

 

so at 18, what is a good age for you to date?

[Cherry Blossom 35]

 

I think that the O.P. does have a point of what I call the Carrie Bradshaws of the datin world. They think that they can play the field into their 40s then find a nice 20 something guy that is into them an settle down.

 

A. two words: Biological clock, just not healthy/natural to try to get preggers later in life.

 

B. If you respect your future husband you give him your best. Not what's leftover after the players are bored with you.

 

Do you honestly think that they aren't aware of the limitations of their age? Trust me, they are.

 

Do you think they don't understand the limits of their bodies? Trust me, they are.

 

Society reminds of us of them all the time. Just like you are.

 

I find these types of comments to be insulting. We KNOW what it means to get older, and we really don't need you to remind us.

 

ALso, have you guys ever thought that maybe these women on the dating sites are just looking for a little bit of fun? I've known older women who date much younger guys. They aren't looking for the next great relationship, they are looking for mutually exclusive fun. And it doesn't have to mean that people are using each other, either. When very young people have RL's, and they know that it won't probably end in marriage, does it mean they are using each other? No, not necessarily. You can have wonderful RL's with people, enjoy each other's company,and learn a little about yourself in the process. Just because it's not meant to end in marriage does not mean it's worthless.

 

Like those old commercials used to say, fun for a girl and a boy!

[boxing123]

This is my point..

 

Women on here are saying that I hate women, because I am noticing age.

 

What about the women on the sites?

 

They are the ones disqualifying older men, or men their age. Do they hate men? Are they putting all men down?

 

Funny how offended these "cougars" get when I feel they are too old for me, when they are saying the same exact thing themselves about men their own age.

 

I guess it is cool and in for women to notice age, but taboo for men. And these women are looking for a long term relationship. If it was just quick sex I would completely understand.

[serial muse]

This is my point..

 

Women on here are saying that I hate women, because I am noticing age.

 

What about the women on the sites?

 

They are the ones disqualifying older men, or men their age. Do they hate men? Are they putting all men down?

 

Funny how offended these "cougars" get when I feel they are too old for me, when they are saying the same exact thing themselves about men their own age.

 

I guess it is cool and in for women to notice age, but taboo for men. And these women are looking for a long term relationship. If it was just quick sex I would completely understand.

 

I think what annoys me about this is that you've got a pretty hypocritical view there, yourself. You think it's okay for a man to notice age and date x number of years younger, but if a woman does it it's "offensive."

 

Like I said in my previous posts: I can understand being annoyed at the simple fact that someone ignores your age preferences. Happened to me all the time. But that's not what you're annoyed about. You think it's presumptuous and rude that a woman in her 40s would email you at all. And yet you think it's fine if it's an older man/younger woman scenario.

 

Stop trying to pretend you're offended at hypocrisy. You aren't. You just have a very specific idea of what's okay in the dating world, and these women are contradicting it by doing their own thing, and when you tell them you think their preferences are "wrong," they're annoyed with you. Of course!

 

I think you just need to GET OVER IT. As MN randomguy said (perhaps not realizing that he's actually contradicting the OP, but I agree with these points as stated):

 

I don't understand why you'd be offended by another's preferences?

 

...

 

I've talked to people who prefer a certain race, there's heated threads on this forum about preferring a certain height. I don't think getting PO'ed is going to change that.

 

I don't know if the site will let you block people who don't meet your requirements. I tried it once and respected the women's preferences. Many my age only wanted older men. Whatever, that's their right.

 

Exactly my point! Thank you.

 

Of course, then he also said:

 

These women shouldn't be so down on a guy being honest about why he's not interested. I've learned just to say that I'm not interested and not give a reason.

 

I think that the O.P. does have a point of what I call the Carrie Bradshaws of the datin world. They think that they can play the field into their 40s then find a nice 20 something guy that is into them an settle down.

 

A. two words: Biological clock, just not healthy/natural to try to get preggers later in life.

 

B. If you respect your future husband you give him your best. Not what's leftover after the players are bored with you.

 

Okay. So this contradicts what you just said, randomguy. I do not see how, in any way, getting PO'd about these women's preferences is going to help the OP. It's just silly and a waste of time. As you said - simply tell them no and move on. What's the point of a rant about it?

 

I'm not saying you "hate" women because you notice their age, boxing. I'm just saying that you are expending an awful lot of energy feeling personally offended by something that is so not your problem. Just tell them no and move on. Don't feel like it's your responsibility to explain to them that they're over the hill. Ugh. Why bother???

 

As Cherry said - they know exactly how old they are. Society makes it perfectly clear, as many do on these boards as well, that women of a certain age rapidly lose desirability as mates. Fortunately for women of a certain age, there are in fact men out there who are interested in dating them, even so. You aren't one of them. So just say no and move on!!

 

Why all the drama?!?!? Seriously, stop with the drama. Just let it go, dude, and WORRY ABOUT YOU.

[boxing123]

I am looking at this from a larger societal point of view. Are women being brainwashed these days into thinking age does not matter to men, because of Demi Moore, or Sex in the City? So maybe they can work a career, get divorced because they are bored, and then land a younger man while dismissing men their own age? Is Hollywood ruining women's lives?

 

I am not contacting teenagers. So I am not being hypocritical. I like women around my age.

 

I think they actually are clueless. Because almost everyone I said was too old FOR ME brought up Demi Moore!

[serial muse]

I am looking at this from a larger societal point of view. Are women being brainwashed these days into thinking age does not matter to men, because of Demi Moore, or Sex in the City? So maybe they can work a career, get divorced because they are bored, and then land a younger man while dismissing men their own age? Is Hollywood ruining women's lives?

 

I am not contacting teenagers. So I am not being hypocritical. I like women around my age.

 

I think they actually are clueless. Because almost everyone I said was too old FOR ME brought up Demi Moore!

 

Okay - you did not say this, but I think Sam Spade did:

 

Ashton Fugtcher - Demi Moore is not my idea of a sensible relaitonship. Michael Duglas - Katherine Zeta Jones - makes a lot more sense.

 

If that's not your stance, then I salute you.

 

But I, too, am looking at this from a larger societal standpoint - and the truth is, perhaps you are too young to understand it, but as Cherry said, yes indeed these women know exactly how old they are. And it's also true that, with the advent of Demi and Sex in the City and whatever else, older women have been offered a new opportunity to express sexiness publicly. So, these women are trying it out. BELIEVE ME, society is NOT brainwashing women into thinking age doesn't matter. The vast majority of messages out there explain in great detail why women fall off the mating shelf much sooner than men. And yes, it's liberating to discover that not everyone thinks that way, and that the age of undesirability isn't 30 anymore. Perhaps you - who, I suspect, are far younger than 30 yourself - don't see it that way. 30 probably looks quite old. But once you've reached 30, come back here and post about it; I guarantee you'll see the age issue somewhat differently.

 

Look, I get that you wouldn't want to get into an argument with strangers on a dating site about why you don't want to date them. I simply don't understand why you'd take it upon yourself to right what you consider a societal wrong, through the strange medium of emailing these strangers, about whom you know almost nothing, and telling them to give it up. That's just not your place. There's simply no good reason to tell strangers what to do, particularly since you have no idea where they're really coming from or what their past histories have been.

 

These women, by your own admission, have lived more life than you have and probably understand what's out there for them far better than you do. Trust me, you aren't going to be telling them ANYTHING they don't already know. So don't try. It's DRAMA. Just say no politely, and get on with your life.

[lovestory5]

It is really true that woman’s age is more important than the man’s one. Men can have children almost at any age and for the woman it is difficult. Women should not be offended when people say that they are too old for something. I am 25 years old and I began to notice that I am old. Don’t laugh. I see many girls who 18 years old and they look at me as if I am 50. : ) And many men will choose younger women for relationships. It is really true. Such is the world. Every creature tries to stay alive. Women should find themselves in some other things.

[Jersey Shortie]

I am looking at this from a larger societal point of view. Are women being brainwashed these days into thinking age does not matter to men, because of Demi Moore, or Sex in the City? So maybe they can work a career, get divorced because they are bored, and then land a younger man while dismissing men their own age? Is Hollywood ruining women's lives?

 

I am not contacting teenagers. So I am not being hypocritical. I like women around my age.

 

I think they actually are clueless. Because almost everyone I said was too old FOR ME brought up Demi Moore!

 

Really, I don't know one woman that thinks Hollywood is reality. Or think she is the next Demi Moore or even wants to be the next Demi Moore. But lets talk and Ashton from a relationship perspective. In all honesty, here is a guy wants to be in a stable loving relationship. There are 30+ men that don't seem to want to make the effort or realize that it requires compromise and being givng of yourself. There are like Brad Pitt that bed hop. Demi Moore obviously has a guy that loves her, did you ever think that maybe that's what women want more then just a young guy?

 

You really have no clue what it can be like dating in this day and age for the average woman. I encounter more men that don't want to grow up then do. Men don't seem to want to make the committment or want to give. They seem more interested in taking and worried about what is in it for them.

 

You don't think hollywood brainwashes the average men into thinking untruths? I mean, seriouly? Men think 20 year olds are dying to be with them when they are 40 might just be buying into their own myths. There isn't one of my friends that wants to marry someone that much older then her. You talk about Hollywood brainwashing women but do you consider the way it brainwashes men. Lets look at how porn has brainwashed men. Now every guy thinks he needs threesomes.

[stillafool]

I am looking at this from a larger societal point of view. Are women being brainwashed these days into thinking age does not matter to men, because of Demi Moore, or Sex in the City? So maybe they can work a career, get divorced because they are bored, and then land a younger man while dismissing men their own age? Is Hollywood ruining women's lives?

 

I am not contacting teenagers. So I am not being hypocritical. I like women around my age.

 

I think they actually are clueless. Because almost everyone I said was too old FOR ME brought up Demi Moore!

 

 

Why don't you just not respond to these older women who show interest in you. Can't you change your profile to only request responses from women who meet the age range you desire? Why should you care that women are now doing what men have done forever. Has it occured to you that these older women may not need a man's money because they have their own? Maybe they just want to look at a handsome face and a hard body. Who knows, who cares. If it floats their boat why should you be upset? It doesn't affect you one way or the other.

[Lizzie60]

Why don't you just not respond to these older women who show interest in you. Can't you change your profile to only request responses from women who meet the age range you desire? Why should you care that women are now doing what men have done forever. Has it occured to you that these older women may not need a man's money because they have their own? Maybe they just want to look at a handsome face and a hard body. Who knows, who cares. If it floats their boat why should you be upset? It doesn't affect you one way or the other.

 

 

I totally agree.. Best post on this thread!!!

[stillafool]

It is really true that woman’s age is more important than the man’s one. Men can have children almost at any age and for the woman it is difficult. Women should not be offended when people say that they are too old for something. I am 25 years old and I began to notice that I am old. Don’t laugh. I see many girls who 18 years old and they look at me as if I am 50. : ) And many men will choose younger women for relationships. It is really true. Such is the world. Every creature tries to stay alive. Women should find themselves in some other things.

 

When I was 25 I felt old also so I know how you feel. Age does matter for a woman if she wants but has never had children. Lots of women (like myself) don't want children. If you want kids the clock starts ticking around 26.

[Shygirl15]

I totally agree.. Best post on this thread!!!

I totally agree.

[MN randomguy]

I am looking at this from a larger societal point of view. Are women being brainwashed these days into thinking age does not matter to men, because of Demi Moore, or Sex in the City? So maybe they can work a career, get divorced because they are bored, and then land a younger man while dismissing men their own age? Is Hollywood ruining women's lives?

 

I am not contacting teenagers. So I am not being hypocritical. I like women around my age.

 

I think they actually are clueless. Because almost everyone I said was too old FOR ME brought up Demi Moore!

 

 

Just because women on this fourm aren't clueless doesn't mean that many in society aren't. It does matter too as these older women are where younger women learn their ideas. I'm meeting a lot of mid-thirties single women in my life now. I wish they'd tell the mid-twenties women that they are firends with, "Hey, better concentrate your romantic attentions towards men that you'd actually consider marrying someday." This is what a decent mentor would do. Instead they get mad at me when I won't date them and demand to know why. I've been kicked out of whole friend groups of women for this.

 

I think what annoys me about this is that you've got a pretty hypocritical view there, yourself. You think it's okay for a man to notice age and date x number of years younger, but if a woman does it it's "offensive."

 

Like I said in my previous posts: I can understand being annoyed at the simple fact that someone ignores your age preferences. Happened to me all the time. But that's not what you're annoyed about. You think it's presumptuous and rude that a woman in her 40s would email you at all. And yet you think it's fine if it's an older man/younger woman scenario.

 

 

 

Okay. So this contradicts what you just said, randomguy. I do not see how, in any way, getting PO'd about these women's preferences is going to help the OP. It's just silly and a waste of time. As you said - simply tell them no and move on. What's the point of a rant about it?

 

If you read OP's original post he said that they were listed as looking for a LTR/Marriage. He also has his preference listed. If you've ever looked at online ads there will be hot 22 y/o women that say, "PLEASE DO NOT CONTACT ME IF YOU"RE OVER FORTY!! I DON'T LIKE DIRTY OLD MEN!!" and its understandible that they have to deal with all of this junk mail from guys that they'd never consider.

 

What if OP put in his profile, "PLEASE DON'T CONTACT ME CRUSTY OLD COUGARS!!!" that would be offensive.

 

Do you honestly think that they aren't aware of the limitations of their age? Trust me, they are.

 

Do you think they don't understand the limits of their bodies? Trust me, they are.

 

Society reminds of us of them all the time. Just like you are.

 

I find these types of comments to be insulting. We KNOW what it means to get older, and we really don't need you to remind us.

 

ALso, have you guys ever thought that maybe these women on the dating sites are just looking for a little bit of fun? I've known older women who date much younger guys. They aren't looking for the next great relationship, they are looking for mutually exclusive fun. And it doesn't have to mean that people are using each other, either. When very young people have RL's, and they know that it won't probably end in marriage, does it mean they are using each other? No, not necessarily. You can have wonderful RL's with people, enjoy each other's company,and learn a little about yourself in the process. Just because it's not meant to end in marriage does not mean it's worthless.

 

Like those old commercials used to say, fun for a girl and a boy!

 

Again go to the beginning of the thread. They are free to do so if that is what they're after. Just be honest in your profile and pursue those that claim to be looking for the same thing.

 

If you're 45 and divorced don't pursue 25 y/o guys that want to get married and start a family. If you want to knock boots with a 25 y/o and teach him all of the moves you learned back when Micheal Jackson was cool, great, say so. You'll get lots of takers.

[clv0116]

Just because women on this fourm aren't clueless doesn't mean that many in society aren't. It does matter too as these older women are where younger women learn their ideas. I'm meeting a lot of mid-thirties single women in my life now. I wish they'd tell the mid-twenties women that they are firends with, "Hey, better concentrate your romantic attentions towards men that you'd actually consider marrying someday." This is what a decent mentor would do.

 

But that would encourage the competition, which while nice and altruistic, is counter their best interests.

[MN randomguy]

But that would encourage the competition, which while nice and altruistic, is counter their best interests.

 

 

Not true,

 

They don't stand a chance with the picket fence and 2.3 children guys. Let me say that again.

 

They Don't stand a chance!!!

 

Now, if they want the "for fun" guys I'm telling them to discourage their main competition i.e. younger women. You should try to pawn off the boring relationship material guys on them.

 

If they want to "cock block" which we all know happens, then guess what, I hate them. There, how's that for playing games?

[Holding-On]

Hmmm...

Well I'm not so sure the Catherine ZJ and Michael Douglas is so fantastic for women as you think. Indeed, a 25 yo might marry a 40 yo and then have kids.

Just when the kids are out of the house he's hitting 60 and she needs to start taking care of him. Meanwhile she's 45. Does she retire at this age?

 

So much will depend on his health. What if he has a heart attack at 68 and she is now, (the horror!), 53. If there was a 20 year difference then she would be 48 and looking on the dating sites just like the Carrie Bradshaw wannabes.

If our mythical woman starts looking again she might look for younger men because she doesn't want her next love to die on her. So not a fun experience.

 

FWIW my mother married again at 55. He was 57 then. So I don't know about the unreasonableness of finding a mate later in life.

But just to be sure I married a man younger than me.

[MN randomguy]

All valid concerns, Holding-on. Although I don't know or care about Catherine ZJ or Micheal Douglas. They're Hollywood and therefore horrible role models for a lasting relationship.

 

Maybe a 25 y/o woman should look for a 25 to 32 y/o man. He's old enough to settle down. She's young enough to have his kids. He hopefully won't die more than a decade before she does. At which time she moves in with or close to her grown-up children so that her son/daughter can lookout for her and she gets to spend time w/ grandchildren.

[clv0116]

The real death age of men and women isn't that far apart.

[redant]

I always wondered why alot of guys 10 yrs younger contacted me when I was in my mid thirties. Maybe it was just for fun. Not sure I could not relate to them too much energy. There were times men much older would contact me like 12-15 yrs and I would just laugh it off. Maybe the sex is good since it is so taboo. I know an older woman in her late thirties married to a man / guy in his early twenties and they are having a baby. Strange things do happen! It sounds like you don't like older women. You can't control them. Maybe they are hoping to have a chance at love with a young stud. The old dudes do it and it's ok since all men are pervs - they can't help it. We are ok with it, we accept it. Women need love too! It's not you job to teach women how to behave. Don't hate.