melissa123 Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 Would you go out with your friends ex a few weeks after they had broken up?? And if you dumped someone for no good reason would you start going out with their friend a few weeks later? This has happened to me and it hurts so bad. What makes it worse it that neither of my good friend or my ex even bothered to tell me. He started acting really strange and I would run this friend for advice with what was going on and what to do. I was really upset about how he was acting and very confused yet she never bothered to tell me the real reason! She let me get all hurt and confused while she went behind my back with my bf. He on the other hand told me I had nothing to worry about with her and he never liked her at all. He laughed off ever being with her and shuddered! Then he dumpes me almost the next day and neither of them talk to me ever again. The next thing I know their facebook status are changing and they are together now Neither of them bothered to tell me and neither of them even speak to me now. They knew I would see they were together and they did this with no respect for my feelings Both of them have display pictures of them hugging and looking really happy. I am so heartbroken. I have lost two very important people to me. Both are now very happy with each other and im shattered I feel so hurt that I was lied to and so hurt that she was better than me Sigh, anyway back to my question ... Would you do something like this? Am I over reacting? Or do you not go out with a friends ex? Im soooo hurt
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 She's not better than you! They both sound like scum and I'd say scum deserves scum. I'd say they both did you a favor. No - I would not date a friend's ex. But it doesn't sound to me like they waited a couple weeks at all - sounds like they were hanging out while you two were still dating. Gross - they're both nasty.
Author melissa123 Posted March 8, 2009 Author Posted March 8, 2009 Thanks for your response. I wish I could say that they were scum and nasty people but it just so happens these two used to be my best friends I didnt think they were bad people. I didnt and still cant believe they did this to me. Everyone loves them and thinks they are so cool! Maybe I could understand if they fell for each other but the fact that they both lied about it and let me hurt and cry as I tried to figure out what was going on with my then bf. Then the fact that neither had any respect for my feelings and let me find out through facebook and just stopped talking to me. I mean I just couldnt do that to someone! Am I a sook? Is this normal behaviour? And how come they get to carry onn all happy while im hurting and shattered? Its not fair!
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 What they did was nasty. Regardless of how you feel about somebody, the fact that they would sink to the level they did says a lot about their characters. No - you are not being a sook (I had to look that up - didn't even know what it meant). You have every right to feel as you do. What they did to you was downright horrid. They obviously were not the people you thought they were - BFFs or not. Anybody that would do that to you is definitely no friend. Who needs enemies with "friends" like that? It was despicable! It'll take time and only time to heal from this. I know it feels like it'll never end - the pain. I've been there. Just take care of you - do things that you enjoy. Take a bubble bath in candle-light, spend time in nature...whatever it is that helps you to feel at peace. It can be a rough road, but the end will be worth it.
Geishawhelk Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 You spoke in your other thread about Karma, but unfortunaltely, you have no understanding of what Karma is, otherwise you'd understand that what is happening to you could be said to be your Karma..... Everybody has it.... regardless. And you may not think you've done anything to deserve it, but if you're seriously talking about proper Karma, then you're only focusing on this lifetime, aren't you? Karma is no respecter of the clock or calendar. Have you considered finding out where they hang out and confronting them both with this? Hve you thought of actually amking them face you and explain how you feel and get some kind of feedback?
Author melissa123 Posted March 9, 2009 Author Posted March 9, 2009 Heya Thanks for your replies!! I always thought there was some sort of 'rule' that you didnt date your friends ex! I couldnt do that to someone and then not even tell them! Gosh Id feel terrible!! Geisha I dont actually know much about Karma, I just used that term as I wanted them to get what they deserved I guess!! Im frustrated and very hurt over the whole situation!! I lost my partner and good friend
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