melissa123 Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 Im sick of it!!! Utterly sick of everything!!!! I logged onto facebook today for the first time in 4 months to get a number someone had sent me. I figured if I logged in and went straight to my emails I would see nothing I didnt want to ... Boy was I wrong There staring infront of my was a picture of my ex hugging his gf. My heart broke into one million pieces all over again. After having a good long cry to myelf I got so angry!!!! EVERYTHING seemed unfair!! I dont mean to blowmy own trumped but I was seriously the model gf!! He on the other hand treated me like ****!!! He never complimented me and would snap at me and get angry all the time. He threw away A present I bought him and never made any effort to see me. A final straw was when he reaplied with 'hehe' when I told him I broke fingers and then he dumped me a few hours before my final exam. I on the other hand seriously went out of my way to make him happy and give him all he needed. We had a female bestfriend whom he was so close to. He said I had nothing to ever worry about and he neverliked her and never would. She broke up with her bf and I spent days comforting her! The next day he dumpes me. She also stops talking to me for some reason. And yip you guessed it.. With no regard for my feelings they both change their facebook status into being in a realtionship together. Neither have spoken to me again Now I look and see they are still together and very happy and it just seems sooooooooooooooooooo unfair. To the point where Ive decided, screw this, Im going to become a bitch like everyone else and then maybe I will get further! Im tired of being nice and happy just to get screwed over! Why do they get all the luck when it seems they went behind my back, treated me like **** and didnt even have the decency to tell me the truth!!??! If Karma and all that really was real then should they get screwed over? Grrrr sorry im just so angry right now Ive given up totally. Screw being nice ever again
SpanksTheMonkey Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 Seriously they sound like a perfect match lol... Look if he disrespected you like that he WILL do the same to her its inevitable believe me! Once the honeymoons over karma will be knocking on there door or hers at least he sounded like a right jerk. Now delete that face book account take a deep breath and let go! Just goes to prove my theory further face book is the online spawn of the devil yip knew it..
miss-jem-bishop Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 I Signed In Facebook Too .. Then Seen My ex With His New gf... so I Know How That Feels!! Maybe We shud Become Bitches Heyy! As He Has facebook You Could Try What Im Trying Im being A Bitch trying The brave face now... my status says 'downgrading babe aww poor you HAHA...Unlucky! ' He Isnt Gonna Like It But What Goes Around Always Comes Bck Around And well hes getting it bck for hurting youu! x
Sexy Kitty Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 delete them both from your facebook. you dont need to see stuff about them. it will only hurt you more. they may seem happy now but that doesnt mean it will always be that way.
Author melissa123 Posted March 9, 2009 Author Posted March 9, 2009 Hey thanks for the replies! Actually that rant made me feel a whole lot better!!!!! I dont facebook stalk them actually, just yesterday I signed on and unfortunatly saw everything on my updates list!!! Totally broke my heart!!! You think it would look strange if I deleted them both of facebook after four months!? Ahh this really sux
Nikki Sahagin Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 I'm realising myself that life is unfair. Life comes with no guarantees, the right thing doesn't always happen, the good people don't always get what they deserve. Human beings make the rules but the world has none. No-one and nothing says that just because you are a nice and good person that you will be rewarded for it. Perhaps if you are religious or believe in karma but there is no true guarantee of this. Really being good is a choice and a decision you make based on the fact that you MIGHT NOT GET WHAT YOU DESERVE for being nice. Sometimes it seems the bad people get everything they want. I don't know that that's really true but it can definately seem it, whereas the good people seem to have everything thrown at them. Sometimes when that happens I look at it as a test. Life is throwing everything at me to see how much it takes for me to turn into another one of life's *******. It's so easy to be rude, horrible, mean, indifferent, selfish, ignorant. It's so hard to remain consistently good, selfless, kind, caring, emotional etc. To be the former is to be a taker and taking is easy. To be the latter is to be a giver and that can be painful. Life is just a complete whirlwind. There is no certainty, no guarantee. I don't mean this to be depressing because I wish for anything there was something constant and concrete but it's just the way the world works and I suppose the sooner we can all accept to just go with the world rather than fight against it - the happier we will be. Sometimes I hate how it seems all the worst qualities are rewarded; promiscuity, stripping off butt naked gets you more money than truly working hard for a worthwhile career, some ignorant cruel people have all the money in the world etc etc. But none of that goes with you when you die. I'd rather my self-respect than my millions. Sounds stupid maybe but it's true.... In your instance take solace from the fact that he'll do the same to her. Sometimes what we miss isn't what we had, but how it started or what we thought it could be, because really ask yourself, what was there to miss about this man?
gavinus Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 It does seem unfair sometimes. My ex GF got angry at me, used physical, emotional, verbal anger at me, I comforted her, she dumped me and is getting on fine!! In the end if we become like those who hurt us then they have really won, peoples true nature always shows in the end, don't let them win, be strong be true to yourself
Author melissa123 Posted March 9, 2009 Author Posted March 9, 2009 Your post is great Nikki and I totally agree! I think ive failed lifes test as im totally ready to turn into one bitch! Im sso dam tired of being nice and polite to everyone! I actually go out of my way for people! My friend the other way described me (in a nice way) as a pushover and I knew she was completely right! Im always there to help out and if someone asks me for a favour ill always fo it! Im sick to death of swalling my bad feelings and just getting on with it. Maybe if im mean and rude etc i'll get further. Might aswell try! Hey what have I got left to lose!! P.s Do you really think he will do to her what he did to me? I hope so!!! And gavinus thanks for response! Sorry to hear bout your stupid ex!! Lets just hope things get better for the both of us!
Nikki Sahagin Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 Your post is great Nikki and I totally agree! I think ive failed lifes test as im totally ready to turn into one bitch! Im sso dam tired of being nice and polite to everyone! I actually go out of my way for people! My friend the other way described me (in a nice way) as a pushover and I knew she was completely right! Im always there to help out and if someone asks me for a favour ill always fo it! Im sick to death of swalling my bad feelings and just getting on with it. Maybe if im mean and rude etc i'll get further. Might aswell try! Hey what have I got left to lose!! P.s Do you really think he will do to her what he did to me? I hope so!!! And gavinus thanks for response! Sorry to hear bout your stupid ex!! Lets just hope things get better for the both of us! I think it's important that you stay a nice person but like you said, don't be a pushover. To go in the opposite direction is another extreme. You see through life we learn lessons i.e. you've learnt there is such a thing as being TOO nice, so from this, you will naturally probably go to the other extreme, then learn there is such a thing as being TOO mean, and from that learn you need to be a balance. To go to far in the other direction is just making the opposite mistake but not really learning any lesson. In fact if you turned into a *****, you'd be showing your ex that he has won and also enable him to justify leaving you. If you remain a good person, i'm sure he will think 'what an idiot I was to let such a loving person go' - not to say that means he will want you back, but that he will realise, he didn't deserve you. As for if the same thing will happen to the girl he is with now, again no guarantees but judging by the way he has treated you, he won't be any different with her. Maybe at first...but I doubt it. And even if he treats her like a princess - he didn't treat you in that way, so he really doesn't deserve you. I'm the same as you, i'm too giving, and it's very hard to hold some of that back when you are naturally inclined to care for people. Rather than avoiding being a good person altogether, find positive outlets for it like maybe helping out an animal shelter or something. That way you use up some of that good energy and you won't be just giving it out to anyone/anything to use it up. You'll have the outlet for it
gwynieatpain Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 I agree with Nikki wholeheartly, but also like to add that it's nothing wrong to be nice or to be the giver. It is your nature and it's totally fine, thing is you need to protect yourself by not giving up your boundaries. I dont mean to blowmy own trumped but I was seriously the model gf!! He on the other hand treated me like ****!!! He never complimented me and would snap at me and get angry all the time. He threw away A present I bought him and never made any effort to see me. A final straw was when he reaplied with 'hehe' when I told him I broke fingers and then he dumped me a few hours before my final exam. I on the other hand seriously went out of my way to make him happy and give him all he needed. You know well enough that his behavior was sick. So you have to ask yourself why making exceptions for this person for things you would not tolerate in anyone else accept him. You know that this relationship was not satisfying and you were copying and surviving by more and more giving, and never believed that you have given enough. We had a female bestfriend whom he was so close to. He said I had nothing to ever worry about and he neverliked her and never would. She broke up with her bf and I spent days comforting her! The next day he dumpes me. She also stops talking to me for some reason. And yip you guessed it.. With no regard for my feelings they both change their facebook status into being in a realtionship together. Neither have spoken to me again Now I look and see they are still together and very happy and it just seems sooooooooooooooooooo unfair. I'm so sorry to hear this. I know it's the hardest thing to accept when it comes to betrayal. They are actually doing you a favor when they stopped talking to you. Would you like to stay friends with them again? I don't think so. Please don't get me wrong. I would never agree someone like your ex. To me, looking for justice in relationships is not going to make you feel better. It makes you angry, sad, frustrated and traps you in a cave that you would hardly find the way out, coz you want justice, and it does not always happen or will never happen in your own timeline. To the point where Ive decided, screw this, Im going to become a bitch like everyone else and then maybe I will get further! Im tired of being nice and happy just to get screwed over! If Karma and all that really was real then should they get screwed over? Only when things are not fair we find our dark side, which seeks retaliation. Or our kind side, which looks for restoration. Which side you want to be? You don't want to be your ex or that girl don't you? It's not your nature to be a bitch, why forcing yourself to be someone like them? Let them go. It's torturing to focus on their happiness against your own.
blondesmiler Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 And why have you not deleted him from your FB friends list already? if you had of done you wouldn't have seen that. One suggests as your already feeling low, do it now, get it done. Then you never have to see them again.
Author melissa123 Posted March 9, 2009 Author Posted March 9, 2009 Thanks for the replies everyone! I know its not right for me to become a bitch but today I was so angry I completely lost it at someone! I feel soooo low today. As I was driving home I was wishing my car would veer off the road into the path of an on coming truck! And im really not joking here, if someone came along and shot me I would honestly thank them. Thats how low I am right now. What really eats me up is I know they are good people. This was like my bestfriend and boyfriend! Everybody loves them!! It kills me to see them together and so happy. And I know they will last! Their like obsessed with other. They were the closest possible of friends before all this happened. My heart is so shattered that I have completely givn up on life. This is the second time this has happened so obviously there is something wrong with me. I cant figure it out and it cant be fixed any way so honestly why bother. I just keep trying and waiting foe something good to happen but it just seems like pain after pain after pain. And its all my fault for being unlovable, fat and hideous. Gr I give up
Template Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 Hey Melissa, Don't give up. Everyone is right. Life isn't fair. But it's really all about perspective. We are in similar boats in that we are (and I suspect a lot of us here) are genuinely nice people. I find that when we are in the position that we are in, we only look towards the negative. We rarely see the positive in these situations. I'm guilty as well as anyone here. However, I've found that while you think your life sucks, and look at someone else's and think they are so fabulous, it's probably they are saying the same thing. For instance, while I may have broken up with my ex-GF, I still have a job. We were both in the same field, and while it was hard for her to find a job pre-recession, it's going to be REALLY hard for her now, as I see every day many of my equals in the industry being job shifted, demoted, pay cut, or even fired. I've seen salaries go down on average 20%, and that's if you can find a job. Or, closer to home, how many people are out there in loveless relationships, and wish they were single, but for some reason or not, may not have the courage not to be in one. My point is, while I've I'm not in a relationship righ now, it's really the only thing I don't have going on in my life. There are people out there in worse situations that would trade places with me in a heartbeat, and probably with you as well. LIfe ISN'T fair, but it really isn't as bad as we think it is. A friend of mine says the best revenge is living a well life. Live a life that you want to live. If it means not being nice, then don't be nice, but be true to yourself, and be happy. Don't let anyone, past/present/future, determine how you should live your life. Only you have that right.
bayouboi Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 And its all my fault for being unlovable, fat and hideous. I feel your pain in the seeming unfairness of the situation. How is it right for God/people to accept what they've done & allow them to be happy? It happened to me, too. I hope for divine retribution, but that hope poisons my soul. You should bottle your anger & use it to fuel a new exercise regimen. You will feel so much better about yourself, trust me. I still wear some shirts she bought me as extra anger motivation/focus while I work out.
Author melissa123 Posted March 10, 2009 Author Posted March 10, 2009 Heya everyone! Thanks SOOOO much for your advice yesterday!! I totally lost it!!!!!!!!!! I had been so good for a while!! Yesterday I got 100% confirmation about my ex and his new gf whom was once my good friend. And I heard it had been going on for quite a while when I was unaware of it I also saw a picture of them together looking so happy and in love. It all broke my heart and I completely lost it. I came here and vented untill I was blue in the face and you guys were amazing!!!!!!!! I was honestly so upset that I wanted to die Im so glad I came here. You guys were amazing! Im starting to calm down now but it still really hurts. This is the second time I have been cheated on.. It was really tough! Anyway thanks so much, I really cant thank you enough!
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