moet70 Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 Hello I dated a guy for 6 weeks over christmas/nye, we ended it late jan - he is a bit commitment phobic and we continued as friends. We have been in weekly contact and have been to the movies recently just as friends - NO fwb, we both agreed that wouldn't work. I went overseas for a week and a bit, stayed in contact sms/text and email. I got back on Thursday, my birthday friday - he took me out for lunch on saturday (he paid) and gave me a big boquet of flowers and my favourite lollies for my birthday. I explained I had to go back to the US in May, he said he had holidays then and did I want to meet up in Hawaii. We discussed it, seperate rooms or not, bla bla bla...he said it's great that we can still be friends and that it is rare. He dropped me off at home and said he was really excited about the trip and that he was desperate for a holiday and glad he had someone to go with. Do you think he is just lonley and bored and that's why he continues to hangout with me? He has stated clearly he just wants to be friends.
mikesierra Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 lonely and bored or not, it's still a no-win situation as far as anything past a friendship goes. either he really just wants to be friends, or he's lonely and bored and that's no good for a relationship. so just be friends. what's the problem?
SpanksTheMonkey Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 lonely and bored or not, it's still a no-win situation as far as anything past a friendship goes. either he really just wants to be friends, or he's lonely and bored and that's no good for a relationship. so just be friends. what's the problem? I agree with milkesierra here it seams your still holding out hope for a relationship? When hes made it clear his true intentions lonely and bored I dunno dose he have many other friends? Your now in his "buddy zone" if your truly OK with that then great if not then end the friendship and move on before you get hurt..
Author moet70 Posted March 8, 2009 Author Posted March 8, 2009 So I shouldn't be to worried or mis read "the flowers and lunch?"
SpanksTheMonkey Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 No not if like you say hes made it very clear he just wants to be friends right? Ive given my friends flowers. He prob dose feel ok doing that because of your past history not because he wants to get back together sorry to say...
Author moet70 Posted March 8, 2009 Author Posted March 8, 2009 Ok cool thanks, I am cool being just friends, because of what he told me about himself I don't want a relationship also and have expressed that to him. He also knows I have just started seeing someone. I just want to ensure we are both on the same page, and given we only just broke up a month ago and have seen each other a lot since, the flowers, lunch and hawaii holiday threw me a bit.
You'reasian Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 Ok cool thanks, I am cool being just friends, because of what he told me about himself I don't want a relationship also and have expressed that to him. He also knows I have just started seeing someone. I just want to ensure we are both on the same page, and given we only just broke up a month ago and have seen each other a lot since, the flowers, lunch and hawaii holiday threw me a bit. If you're seeing someone, going on a vacation with a male friend is a bad idea. Even though nothing may happen, it will be strange to your man - atleast it would seem that way.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 If you're seeing someone' date=' going on a vacation with a male friend is a bad idea. Even though nothing may happen, it will be strange to your man - atleast it would seem that way.[/quote'] Even more so if the guy happens to be an ex! def a bad idea on so many levels..
Author moet70 Posted March 8, 2009 Author Posted March 8, 2009 Yeah - we discussed that issue, I said I needed to think about "Hawaii" I have only been on 3 dates with the new guy - so I am not sure where that is going yet. So I might wait a week or two and then make a decision.
You'reasian Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 Yeah - we discussed that issue, I said I needed to think about "Hawaii" I have only been on 3 dates with the new guy - so I am not sure where that is going yet. So I might wait a week or two and then make a decision. If this guy knows that you are deciding whether or not to go on a vacation with an ex and its early on in your relationship, he might be thinking about looking elsewhere or at least not taking anything too seriously in the near future. Do what you will.
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