CoB Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 So, I broke up with my ex GF back in october because I didn't know what I wanted in life and had to do some soul searching if you will. I tried to get back together with her the following december, about 2 months later. She had been trying to get me back this whole time. I told her i still loved her and all that good stuff but she said she needed time to think. Come to find out a few weeks later, after i tried getting back together with her, she had started dating somebody and was already LIVING with him. I found this out after she had been saying she still loved me, we had kissed a few times. To this point, she texts/messages me every few days to see how im doing, she and my younger sister hang out occasionally, she tries to talk to my friends. everytime she texts me I tell her I don't want to be "just friends" I tell her that she has a new BF and that she shouldnt be doing this to me or him, but nonetheless I can blatantly tell her to F off and a few days later she will text me again. It's getting ridiculous. Why cant she just leave me alone, any ideas what is going on in her mind? I'm getting very fed up with her hanging out with my younger sister, considering they hungout once or twice during our entire 2 year relationship, now they hang out weekly. All in all, im trying to move on with my life and forget about her and I've told her that, but she is relentless and wont go more than a few days without trying to get ahold of me somehow or coming to my house to pick my sister up
StrikeFreedom Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 Well since you've dated this girl before I can assume you still some feelings for her. Maybe you're still unable to let her completely go because of this fact and it's why you have trouble telling her off for good. If however this is not the case, and you really sick of her lurking around and preventing you from moving on then I suppose the next time you're able to tell her off make sure you put some damn good effort into making her know that you don't want her around. Be mean if you have to... give her a chance to clear things up if there is something she has on her mind but if not tell her to get lost and for good.
Author CoB Posted March 8, 2009 Author Posted March 8, 2009 yes I do still have feelings for her, which is why I want nothing to do with her. I have been mean, she just doesnt get it. Most recently I told her to F off and I wanted nothing to do with her and that I was happier with her out of my life, then tonight she rolls up to my house to pick my sister up to go hang out and tries to get me to come talk to her. She has a new BF that she is living with, I dont see why she has to do this, if her current BF knew she constantly tried to talk/hang out with me and that we kissed etc while they were together im sure he would be pretty hurt. She has called me heartless, a jerk, etc because I have been so mean and to the point about not wanting to be friends, yet she tries and tries.
StrikeFreedom Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 If she really thought you were a heartless jerk she wouldn't keep trying and trying. I have a feeling she might unintentionally or intentionally be playing games with you. If being harsh to her won't work then you're going to have to try and act like you don't care about her and anything she has to say. Make a game of it so you stay focused. If she can tell that the things she's doing is getting under your skin she'll take pleasure out of it and keep doing it. So yes, from now on make a game of the situation... the object of the game is to make her think you don't care about her. You'll be able to tell if it's working or not through her reactions and additude. Eventually if she goes away for good you'll end up getting what you wanted.
Author CoB Posted March 8, 2009 Author Posted March 8, 2009 thats a good idea, the thing about her is this. If i completely ignore her which I have done, she will just end up texting more and more the longer that goes by
Geishawhelk Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 Cob, it's really very simple. She may be persistent and try her level best, but she can only succeed if you let her. And you've basically given her every signal that she can. You'll see plenty of threads on here talking about NO Contact, the daangers of breaking it, the total Golden Rule of making it absolutely 100% watertight, and never ever letting anything come to you, in any way shape or form, and doing the same going from you. Stay of Myspace and/or Facebook, and just delete all texts bwfore you even open them. Take no phone messages and don't feed her. Shje's yanking your chain, but you gave her the chain to begin with. She's feeding you breadcrumbs, but you're pecking at her feet. No need to be mean, rude offensive or disrepectful. You just need to be completely 100% unavailable. Simple. Do not, ever, even once, respond or reply to anything. Avoid eye contact, and when she comes into a room, leave it. She'll get it. It may take a while, but eventually, trust me - she'll get it.
Author CoB Posted March 8, 2009 Author Posted March 8, 2009 I cant deal with it, i've never cared for anybody so much. Im completely trashed as im writing this so bear with me, i've had a fifth of whiskey im suprised i can still type honestly. Its so hard not to respond to her, 2 years, TWO YEARS of my life wasted on her. I talked to her tonight and told her things I shouldnt have. She said she knew how i felt but how could she, she is with somebody else, LIVING with somebody else. I am out of my mind. I punched a wood railing until my knuckles bled I was so overcome with rage over this whole situation. My only regret in life is breaking it off with her. I just want to be happy again.
StrikeFreedom Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 I cant deal with it, i've never cared for anybody so much. Im completely trashed as im writing this so bear with me, i've had a fifth of whiskey im suprised i can still type honestly. Its so hard not to respond to her, 2 years, TWO YEARS of my life wasted on her. I talked to her tonight and told her things I shouldnt have. She said she knew how i felt but how could she, she is with somebody else, LIVING with somebody else. I am out of my mind. I punched a wood railing until my knuckles bled I was so overcome with rage over this whole situation. My only regret in life is breaking it off with her. I just want to be happy again. you're looking at your previous time with her in a negative way... it's not two years wasted... in those two years you spent with her you gained a lot of valuable expierence about being with someone you care about... that expierence probably had a lot of positive effects on you and helped make changes into the person you are today just because the person you spent time with back then isn't around doesn't make it a waste the above poster is right, it's time you severed all contact with her
Geishawhelk Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 I cant deal with it, i've never cared for anybody so much. Im completely trashed as im writing this so bear with me, i've had a fifth of whiskey im suprised i can still type honestly. Ok. get it out of your system. Then stop it, because as is all too apaprent, it's not actually helping any, is it? Its so hard not to respond to her, 2 years, TWO YEARS of my life wasted on her. No they weren't. It was just the last bit that was wasted. That bit, and what you're doing right now. THIS is the waste. Not the last 2 years. The last 2 years were good. Now it's you wasting it. I talked to her tonight and told her things I shouldnt have. Well that ws dumb. Oh, we all do it. but it was dumb all the same. you probably knew it all the time you were saying it. Weird, how we can't stop, huh? She said she knew how i felt but how could she, she is with somebody else, LIVING with somebody else. Shoot, I hate that line. "I know how you feel." I agree. It's totall bull. But she only said it to appease you, and because she knows she's hurt you. I am out of my mind. I punched a wood railing until my knuckles bled I was so overcome with rage over this whole situation. My only regret in life is breaking it off with her. I just want to be happy again. Well, that's obviously not working...! So, apart from trying to stay out of ER, and having to fess up to a nurse that you were being an idiot, - how do you propose being happy again....?
Author CoB Posted March 8, 2009 Author Posted March 8, 2009 Thank you guys for all the support, I had some sort of epiphany when I woke up this morning. I woke up feeling like hell with my knuckles all messed up and on top of that I felt like a total idiot for even talking to her last night let alone telling her I missed her and still cared etc. On the bright side the convo did end with me saying some rude things and telling her that would be the last time she would hear from me, so i guess thats good lol. I decided no girl is worth ruining my life over. No contact started last night as i passed out and will continue forever. Thanks again for the support.
Geishawhelk Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 Brace yourself. Just because you've started No Contact, it doesn't mean she will. You may well hear from her at one point or another. So that's when your determination will really have to kick in and come through. Not contacting her might be the easy part. The hard graft will come if she starts trying to contact you. And won't take "no" (silence/No Contact) for an answer.
Author CoB Posted March 18, 2009 Author Posted March 18, 2009 LOL So update Ive been hanging out with this really awesome girl recently and somehow it got back to her, probly through my sister. the last 2 days my ex has been BEGGING quite literally begging to come over. She texted me last night about how she loved me and would do anything for me, that her new boyfriend wasnt anywhere as good as me etc etc lol I told her "Im sorry, I am over that now, I really think you should focus on making your current relationship the best of your life!" Oh man its GREAT how life works out. I couldnt be happier.
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