terra Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 I know, there is no magical formula to find out if someone is "it", but I have talked to people who say you just know, you can just feel it. Well, I'm not really like that and I tend to over-analyze and find flaws in everything so I don't think that I will ever get "that feeling." I have been with my boyfriend for about a year. He is my first serious boyfriend and I'm 30 years old. I focused on school and then moved around a lot before settling down so sometimes I feel like a teenager about my emotions and lack of experience when it comes to relationships. However, I still feel the pressure of being a bit older with finding someone to settle down with and all my friends are in very serious long term relationships or are married. I do love my boyfriend - he is very sweet, thoughtful, caring, and I love being with him.. but I'm worried because I don't get that "he's the one feeling." And because I haven't seriously dated anyone else I don't have anything to compare it to. A few days ago he told me he must move for work and he wants be to go with him. I scared to give up my life and career for him and it not work out. On the other hand if he leaves without me I'm scared that I will realize what I'm missing and be miserable. Does anyone have any advice for me? I feel so confused!
quankanne Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 stop being scared? as trite as it sounds, you just *know* when you meet him. In my case, I could see us much, much older, sitting in rocking chairs outside our nursing home, just sitting together. And the idea didn't freak me out; it made me realize that I could trust a future with him. Kind of like your heart understands that a relationship with this person is a sure thing, even though you realize you don't know what the future holds. There's no fear, there's no skepticism, there's no manic excitement, just a sure knowing feeling ... if you're panicking about being with AND being without this man in your life, there's a good chance he isn't the one you're meant to be with ...
chrissylee Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 My boyfriend is my first serious relationship and we have been together for 7 years. I have always thought he was the guy for me ever before we started dating. I just had that feeling as soon as I met him. I don't feel like I missed out on anything by not dating anyone before him. I don't see the point in having alot of failed relationships just so I can know a guy is right for me.
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