flippinyank Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 I'm cross posting this from the LDR forum, since the friendship forum would be more appropriate I moved here to Northern Ireland to be with my fiance, we've had a relationship for 3 years and it's been a year now since I moved here. Throughout the year, I've written emails and called friends to see how they are doing. Before I left, some have promised to visit but never came to fruition. I've gotten no response. I even came back to the states for a few months last year, tried to get in touch with friends and nada. I feel as if I've done something wrong. If I honestly did, I don't know what. The only thing I did was move to another country for the one I love, what's so wrong about that? Do they not approve of him or my relationship or something? Do they think I'm irresponsible? The weird thing about it is that I find them lurking on my blog on a weekly basis yet they never comment or send an email. It's like they are curious about my life but don't want to talk to me. I've had these friends since grammar school and all of sudden they've dropped like flies. WTH? Has anyone who has moved away had this experience? If so, how did you deal with it?
Honest2Bob Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 Wow! That's weird. No experience on that. I guess the only thing to do now is to call them out on their spying on you. I've got nothing else. Enjoy Ireland though!!!!
WTRanger Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 I have sort of similar experiences. I didn't move to another country but I moved across the US for a job opportunity. Part of doing something of this magnitude, is you start to find out who your real friends are. Even though you may have known these people for a long time, they may not be your real friends. Because real friends are there to support each other. The funny thing is, after I moved any friend of mine that was still back home dropped from contact. Any friend that I had that made a move similar to mine, we stayed in contact. I don't know if there was a relation between the two groups of friends, but I found it odd. However, the news isn't all bad. Your friends might not want to contact you because they honestly don't know what to say. If these friends are still living around your home town, then they may not want to talk to you just yet out of jealously. They are jealous that you are doing something with your life, and they are stuck in a rut. They will come around eventually. Once they see you are serious, they will come around. In the meantime, try not to take it too personally. Try to keep in contact with them, don't just write them off. I've been out on the West Coast for 5 years now and even my own father and brother have refused to come out to visit from the Midwest. So, people are like that. It doesn't mean they don't care about you.
Author flippinyank Posted March 8, 2009 Author Posted March 8, 2009 I think you make be right. Thank you for your insightful advice.
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