casey001 Posted March 7, 2009 Posted March 7, 2009 Hey guys Ive just turned 21 and my love life is a shambles!!! Anyway whats really disheartening me is that a lot of my friends between 20 and 21 are starting to get engaged and married and even have kids. And then theres me, dumped twice in my life, single with no future in sight. I hate to say it but im really jealous of all my happy friends! What do you guys think about marriage etc at 20 to 21? Im starting to panic that everyone will be paired off and there will be no one left for me! Is 21 young or old in the dating world? I know there are people older than 21 on here and I dont mean to offend, its just how I feel at the moment with everyone engaged or in serious realtionships and me all alone. Thanks! Hope this makes sense!
chrislovestosurf Posted March 7, 2009 Posted March 7, 2009 21 is waaaayy too young to get married. I dont feel that college aged people are mature enough to make life altering decisions like that. I just dont. I know people who have done this that end up cheating or end up looking back at what they should have experienced in their 20's. There are always exceptions but I dont think an 21 year old is emotionally mature. Why rush into it?
dreamergrl Posted March 7, 2009 Posted March 7, 2009 I'm 27 and I am just now seeing my friends getting engaged, married, and having kids. 21 Is way way way to young to even be worried about this.
Citizen Erased Posted March 7, 2009 Posted March 7, 2009 I have quite a few friends that are married already, I'm also 21. It's crazy to think that is a smart idea, just my opinion.
Curious-One Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 I am 22 and not even thinking about being married. I dont plan on getting married anytime soon prolly 27-28. I have seen many people getting married at 20-21 and i think its crazy. Most of them have kids and are working for 8-9 dollars/hr struggling to pay their bills. When i get married i want to be able to provide for my family so that they can live a quality life not worrying how we are going to get evicted every month.
sweetie17 Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 I'm 26 and some of my friends are just starting to get engaged. And many of them are still single, not even dating anyone in particular. I actually think a lot of it depends on where you live. I'm on the East Coast and lots of people don't get engaged until late 20s or 30s and it's perfectly normal. But I think in the Southern areas of the country, people tend to get engaged a lot earlier. So I guess you're probably just comparing yourself to what others around you are doing. But don't!! It's better to be single and happy with yourself than married to someone not so specil just because you want to be married!
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 Whoa. No need to panic, yet. I got married at 24 and divorced at 28 (now 29). Is that really what you want? I think it's downright foolish to get married early on in your 20's. I really wish I would have waited. But like you - I felt the pressure of several of my friends getting married and having babies. Just because that's where they are NOW doesn't mean that's where they'll be when they hit their 30's. You change A TON in your 20's. Don't be in any rush (although I know it's hard - BTDT!).
Author casey001 Posted March 8, 2009 Author Posted March 8, 2009 Thanks so much for your responses!!! Im sure you are all right in saying 21 is to young and I would agree, but it just seems like everyone is married or in very serious relationships already! I feel lonely alot of the time I really envy those people who meet when they are say 16 and stay together forever!! Its something I always wanted (and thought I would have) until my ex ran off with someone else Anyway thanks again for your responses!! I still cant help but worry that I will be alone forever ......
You'reasian Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 Thanks so much for your responses!!! Im sure you are all right in saying 21 is to young and I would agree, but it just seems like everyone is married or in very serious relationships already! I feel lonely alot of the time I really envy those people who meet when they are say 16 and stay together forever!! Its something I always wanted (and thought I would have) until my ex ran off with someone else Anyway thanks again for your responses!! I still cant help but worry that I will be alone forever ...... Be patient. Make sure the relationship is right for you. You're an adult - if marriage feels right, go for it - but be sure you are making the decision based on alot of experience, love and trust with someone. 21 is a bit young to be married...
spookie Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 At least in the places I've lived, I've noticed a round of engagements that happens when people hit 21-22 (finishing college). While I think most people are too immature for marriage at that age, some certainly aren't. Where I work now, almost everyone married their college sweetheart, and they seem happy, regardless of how long they've been together. Almost no one's divorced, too. Marrying young worked for them. I am 23 and single, and as a romantic and an introvert, of course I'm slightly jealous. I would love to be with the right person already. I'm done partying, I've never enjoyed making new friends or dating, and I know I'm ready for the commitment. But... it didn't work like that. And in a lot of ways I'm thankful. I'm stronger for having spent some time alone as an adult. There are experiences I've had, and will continue to have for a while, that my friends who married young will never understand. And I'm excited that as someone searching for an SO in adulthood, i get to choose from a pool of men, not half-grown boys: boys whom I'd have to hope change in the same direction I do.
norajane Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 I really envy those people who meet when they are say 16 and stay together forever!!Those people really exist? You don't know that anyone is going to stay together "forever" until "forever" actually happens. Just because they met at 16 and are married at 21, does not in any way mean they will be together forever, or even for 10 years. Think about who you were 10 years ago. Do you still want a pony more than anything in the whole world? My point is that it's almost impossible to decide at 21 who you will want to live the next 60 years of your life with, because you still have so much growing and exploring to do to truly become the adult you will become. You are barely old enough to choose which drink you want at a bar, much less which man you want for the rest of your life!
goldencloud Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 Hey I totally understand what you feel. I just 24 and it seems my life has been a road of things not working out life wise from 19-21 had serious bf but broke up cos we didn't; just work, then the next one was long distance( i loved him SO SO much but unfortunatley due to distance we never worked)..and after that its just been date after date to be honest getting the guy is not the issue, its MAINTAINING him..i DONT understand..but ive realised and chalk it all up to experience...what ive learnt over the past 1 half years im so grateful for and you my dear are only 21...trust me i know exactly how u feel, i was there..but live life and experience...and who knows what could happen the best things happen when u least expect them to
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