juliemanooli Posted March 7, 2009 Posted March 7, 2009 So there's this guy Bryan. We've been talking for about 4 months. He's graduating this year, and i still have 2 years before I get out. At first, I wasn't sure whether or not I liked him because I was still getting over a previous relationship. Bryan was my shoulder to cry on, and i admit taking him for granted. First he was crazy for me. Now, the tables have turned. I like him and he's not acting the same as before. He's quieter..he doesnt text me as much anymore..and sometimes he pretends im not even around. I finally admitted that I've liked him all this time. and this is what he says. Here's our convo. This is via text. Me: So.. I like you. And i know to you its probably not a good thing, because you're graduating this year. I dont know what you think of me, but I know exactly how i feel about you. I've never met someone who was so sweet and genuine until you came alone. I'm not saying this to scare you. And I know neither of us want to get attached because you're leaving...Go have fun and be a senior. Just know that I'll always be thinking of you. Him: Aww Julie I really appreciate that. I like you too at one point.. but then I realized that I was leaving soon and I cant get attached But, we can still be great friends right? I will always be here for you, and we can still hangout all the time. *note that the weekend before this conversation happened, we hooked up for the first time. I was afraid that this was the reason why he was acting like he didnt like me..did I do something wrong? So here's what I need to know. 1) What does he want from me? 2) Does he even like me for that matter? 3) Wouldnt we become more attached if we "hangout all the time"? Then why does he imply on this?
carhill Posted March 7, 2009 Posted March 7, 2009 So here's what I need to know. 1) What does he want from me? 2) Does he even like me for that matter? 3) Wouldnt we become more attached if we "hangout all the time"? Then why does he imply on this? IMO, 1. Bootie, or, at minimum, unattached 'hanging out' 2. Yes 3. No, not necessarily. For a man, emotional attachment comes about and progresses in a completely different way than it does for a woman. He can "hang out" with you and even have sex with you without becoming emotionally involved. Women do this too, but the guy is the topic here. Next time when a guy shows you he likes you and you appreciate that, show him. Even if your head is still foggy from a breakup, validate his interest and attention if you are availing yourself of it. If you don't like him or value him, don't abuse his interest. This is an important life lesson. Can you be platonic friends with this guy, right now?
Hersheys Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 So here's what I need to know. 1) What does he want from me? 2) Does he even like me for that matter? 3) Wouldnt we become more attached if we "hangout all the time"? Then why does he imply on this? 1) Nothing. Just the occasional and convenient 'hook ups' with you. 2) Not so much more than you do. 3) No. It means that he does not want a relationship from you. He'd probably keep in touch from time to time but only to see if he could hook up again with you. You've expressed interest but he was clear about what he wants. You're better off not seeing him after he graduates.
mikesierra Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 I'm with them. it's the power of the mind. tell yourself it's just sex and it is so. but say that you're making love and the same follows.
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 8, 2009 Posted March 8, 2009 Ha. Men can compartmentalize really well - a skill that women just never will be able to do the same way because our brains are wired COMPLETELY different. So yeah - hanging out with him, YOU will get more attached. But he won't if he's already communicated his intentions. If you proceed at this point - you are telling him that you agree to the conditions of no attachment.
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