Touche Posted March 7, 2009 Posted March 7, 2009 I don't understand why this sensible position takes so much beating. Most of the unhappiness in the world (including relationships) stem from completely unjustified sense of entitlement, aka high expectations. It's understandable in children, but not in adults. See the bold above? That's where your whole premise is wrong. "High expectations" don't equal "completely unjustified sense of entitlement" as you put it. Nope. And I'm not even talking about "high" expectations here...I'm just talking about having any expectations at ALL. That's wrong now? Wow. God, am I glad I'm not single anymore! So that means that you shouldn't even expect to find a compatible person who can BREATHE...or have a PULSE? Just have NO expectations, right? Have I got it now? I guess you'd think I had a "sense of entitlement" because I expected a man who would love me and cherish me despite my flaws. Even though I was ready and prepared to do the same. I was a fool to expect to find a man who was on the same page as me? I can't imagine what would have happened to me had I had zero expectations in life....oh wait... I actually can. Not a pretty picture.
Sam Spade Posted March 7, 2009 Posted March 7, 2009 See the bold above? That's where your whole premise is wrong. "High expectations" don't equal "completely unjustified sense of entitlement" as you put it. Nope. And I'm not even talking about "high" expectations here...I'm just talking about having any expectations at ALL. That's wrong now? Wow. God, am I glad I'm not single anymore! So that means that you shouldn't even expect to find a compatible person who can BREATHE...or have a PULSE? Just have NO expectations, right? Have I got it now? I guess you'd think I had a "sense of entitlement" because I expected a man who would love me and cherish me despite my flaws. Even though I was ready and prepared to do the same. I was a fool to expect to find a man who was on the same page as me? I can't imagine what would have happened to me had I had zero expectations in life....oh wait... I actually can. Not a pretty picture. Well, expecting anything more than civil conduct, common courtesy, and some baseline maturity from adults is high expectations, because at that point 'expectations' transition from 'basic preconditions to have a functioning civilisation' to 'things that *I* want'. There is nothing wrong with wanting things (of course, duh...), it's just that this is nobody else's problem. So, expecting someone else to meet *my* expectations is somewhat opressive to them as a person. (There is a subtle distinction between not having expectations and putting up with crap that I'm not sure is coming across... Also, to have someone love you despite your flaws is an example of no expectations.)
Touche Posted March 7, 2009 Posted March 7, 2009 Well, expecting anything more than civil conduct, common courtesy, and some baseline maturity from adults is high expectations, because at that point 'expectations' transition from 'basic preconditions to have a functioning civilisation' to 'things that *I* want'. There is nothing wrong with wanting things (of course, duh...), it's just that this is nobody else's problem. So, expecting someone else to meet *my* expectations is somewhat opressive to them as a person. Spoken like a true left wing nut! No offense. What the hell is so wrong with someone meeting your expectations? Who cares if it "opresses" someone else. That's their problem. And I'd cut them loose so that they don't become MY problem. I sure don't want to hold anyone back! (There is a subtle distinction between not having expectations and putting up with crap that I'm not sure is coming across... Also, to have someone love you despite your flaws is an example of no expectations.) Hilarious! How is the fact that I found someone to love me despite my flaws, a weakness? Or represents someone without expectations? Obviously you're saying that a man who settled for me had zero expectations, right? Good one, Sam. You're cute. I don't put up with crap...been there, done that. I found a man who while yes, has his flaws, I can accept and love with all my being. He does the same. But I'm quite sure you'll find some problem with that.
Sam Spade Posted March 7, 2009 Posted March 7, 2009 Hilarious! How is the fact that I found someone to love me despite my flaws, a weakness? Or represents someone without expectations? Obviously you're saying that a man who settled for me had zero expectations, right? Good one, Sam. You're cute. I don't put up with crap...been there, done that. I found a man who while yes, has his flaws, I can accept and love with all my being. He does the same. But I'm quite sure you'll find some problem with that. Nope, I've got no problem with that. What's yours? Also, left wing nuts are every bit as annoying as the right wing nuts. I'm off to polish my guns before the pro-choice rally i'm attending.
wierdmunky Posted March 7, 2009 Posted March 7, 2009 I wonder if some expectations can count as hopes and positive thinking, and some expectations shouldn't be expectations. Like the line between being pretentious, expecting too much, and being wishy washy. Because if I expect happiness, and I don't get it (in any situation) thats kind of crushing unless I'm not fully expecting that, and if I don't feel and think that there will be happiness eventually than all hope is lost. Unless I'm living mind numbingly through life. But thats not fun OR exiting. I guess I have to find happiness in specifics. Expecting "nothing" is ignoring that good and bad can happen. How about expecting the worst and hoping for the best?
Touche Posted March 7, 2009 Posted March 7, 2009 Nope, I've got no problem with that. What's yours? Also, left wing nuts are every bit as annoying as the right wing nuts. I'm off to polish my guns before the pro-choice rally i'm attending. No problem here dear. None at all. Hope your polishing goes well. I wonder if some expectations can count as hopes and positive thinking, and some expectations shouldn't be expectations. Like the line between being pretentious, expecting too much, and being wishy washy. Because if I expect happiness, and I don't get it (in any situation) thats kind of crushing unless I'm not fully expecting that, and if I don't feel and think that there will be happiness eventually than all hope is lost. Unless I'm living mind numbingly through life. But thats not fun OR exiting. I guess I have to find happiness in specifics. Expecting "nothing" is ignoring that good and bad can happen. How about expecting the worst and hoping for the best? That was the most confusing thread I've read in ages! But you're saying that you should expect the worst and hope for the best. That's not a bad attitude I guess. Some say you should expect nothing and hope for nothing and expect nothing. That's sad. I say, you should expect and hope for something and not settle for anything less. That's the only way you will actually attain anything and be happy.
Dexter Morgan Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 \ huh? i dont get that In other words, a beautiful woman is always looking for the bigger, better deal. Its like the old saying, "marry an ugly woman....nobody will want her, and if she leaves you, you won't care"
mr.dream merchant Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 All a guy could ever ask for in a Beautiful Woman is for her to accept him as is and love him unconditionally. A beautiful woman who is superficial ie. all about clothes, cars, money, and whatever else is what makes most men wary of beautiful women in general, they tend to be the ones who hurt you the most. Just be simple, stop wasting life being complicated and expecting things of your man. He'll love you for you if you love him for him.
Recommended Posts