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How Can I get my Ex Bf to Stop Asking me for a FWBS relationship??

serendipity_2008

By serendipity_2008
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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serendipity_2008 Member

serendipity_2008

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I am 21 and my ex bf is 20. He broke up with me in Oct. and we dated for almost a yr. When he broke up with me, I was heartbroken, bc he was very hateful. He told me he never wanted to see me again and that he was so over me. Yet he still continued to call me the entire time, which is weird sense he didn't have feelings for me.

 

While we dated we never had sex with each other. We were both virgins, yet he kept pressuring me. So i guess I was dumped bc I never gave in. So he dumps me, gets with a girl who gives it to him in 2 wks and then they are over.

 

Now, during the entire time they were together my ex continued to call me.

Not all of our conversations consisted of sex, some things that we discussed involve life and personal things that he would only share with me.Well for quite some time now, he has been asking me for sex INCESSANTLY. I have told him that I am not that type of female, yet he doesn't understand. I will deny him and then he will say... "well call me back when u r ready to have sex." So I never call him and he will call me and we talk, and he will ask can we have sex again.

 

I told him that he can easily get another woman who is into FWBS but he needs to understand that I am not like that. He replies and says that we can be FWBS and it can evolve, but why do I have to have sex with him for him to decide on whether he wants a relationship with me?! That's just pure foolishness!

 

He then says, i've known people who are 'booty buddies' and they end up getting married. I told him that i wouldn't lower myself to that but he still thinks i am going to magically change his mind. My ex is not an ugly man so he can easily find a woman who is into that, but keeps asking me.

 

Why is he doing this and how can I get him to see that I want a friendship or a relationship, but not FWBS. Each time i tell him that he needs to stop asking me about this and we need to be friends, he will behave for a while and goes back to his old self. I never initiate calls, he is always calling me and running after me. He even asked to come over and I allowed it and we just sat down and watched tv. (and that was it)

 

 

Aside from him being a total sex hound, he is a good person. We have quite a few things in common and we really can talk and communicate with each other very well. However it seems that he has a one track mind and I am getting sick and tired of being asked for sex. If I didn't give it to him while we were in a relationship, what would make him think that I'd give it to him while there is no commitment and he can leave any time he wants. I'd be setting myself up for heart break.

 

What do you think about my situation and what should i do?

Ronni_W Established Member

Ronni_W

Posted
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Google for articles on Lorena Bobbitt, and the next time he asks you for sex email him the links -- hopefully he'll get your message.

Hersheys Established Member

Hersheys

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How? Just stop talking to him.

 

Problem is you keep on responding to him, answering his calls. You are trying to offer friendship when it is a relationship that you really want. You cannot 'friends' your way to a relationship with an ex.

 

Ignore him. Stop answering his calls. Problem solved.

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serendipity_2008 Member

serendipity_2008

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How? Just stop talking to him.

 

Problem is you keep on responding to him, answering his calls. You are trying to offer friendship when it is a relationship that you really want. You cannot 'friends' your way to a relationship with an ex.

 

Ignore him. Stop answering his calls. Problem solved.

 

Well i still do want to be friends with him and a relationship would be good if he is willing to change, and I don't see that happening in the near future so being friends does not bother me. In fact, I practically never initiate contact with him. He is the one doing it. However each time him and I are really friendly towards each other, he mentions sex again, and that turns me off bc it makes me feel really cheap that he would think that i'd lower myself to a friends with benefits relationship.:sick:

 

I mean my ex has some negative qualities but him and I were very close friends, and it's the same way how i have some female friends who have negative qualities that irk me, but I don't want to let the friendship go bc of that... however my female friends are not the one's asking me for sex 24/7.:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:

Ronni_W Established Member

Ronni_W

Posted
Posted
each time him and I are really friendly towards each other, he mentions sex again,

That is a sign that he has no desire for a genuine friendship with you, though.

 

It seems more likely that he is hoping to use YOUR desire for a friendship against you, and to ultimately get in your pants.

 

As I see it, your options are quite limited:

1. Accept that one cost for wanting and trying to have a friendship with this guy is that he will be mentioning sex to you whenever he wants it.

2. Tell him that you are done being his entertainment.

 

If you choose 'option 1', then you give up the right to bitch about him and at him, when he does what you know he is going to do -- that's just the harsh reality of it. There's no point choosing something, and then also complaining about your choice.

UCLAMike Established Member

UCLAMike

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Are you enjoying the attention?

Geishawhelk Established Member

Geishawhelk

Posted
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I was about to sk the same question as UCLAMike, until I saw he'd posted it....

 

Well i still do want to be friends with him and a relationship would be good if he is willing to change,

 

So you don't get it by now, that he's not going to....?

he just wants to get between your legs and declare - "Hey, I did it, I finally Fu*c*ked the virgin!! yayy me!"

 

and I don't see that happening in the near future so being friends does not bother me. In fact, I practically never initiate contact with him. He is the one doing it.

It takes two to tango.

he couldn't contact you, if you didn't respond, would he?

 

However each time him and I are really friendly towards each other, he mentions sex again, and that turns me off bc it makes me feel really cheap that he would think that i'd lower myself to a friends with benefits relationship.:sick:

 

GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD: That's ALL he wants.

Sex.

With you.

Because he'd be the first.

Then, you'd never see him again.

 

Trust me.

 

 

I mean my ex has some negative qualities but him and I were very close friends, and it's the same way how i have some female friends who have negative qualities that irk me, but I don't want to let the friendship go bc of that... however my female friends are not the one's asking me for sex 24/7.:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:

 

 

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

:mad:

not funny.

You were never close friends. You were in a relationship were he stayed because he wanted sex with you.

To some guys, it's a notch on their belt to bag a virgin.

When you broke up he wasn't exactly nice about it, was he?

Good friend, huh? Yeh. Right.

Now, he's pressing his advances, because he still wants to bag the virgin.

 

That would be you.

SpanksTheMonkey Established Member

SpanksTheMonkey

Posted
Posted

Sure tell him common over but on the way if he could please pop into the pharmacy for you to pick up your herpes cream.. lol

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