Men stay attractive longer then women and Peek later in life

March 13, 2009

Unless you're already in love with her, why would you ever want to find out?

tell that to all the hot young bucks getting it on with women in their 40's and 50's. A lot of men in that category can't even get laid anymore, let alone with a hot young lassie.

March 13, 2009

Unless you're already in love with her, why would you ever want to find out?

tell that to all the hot young bucks getting it on with women in their 40's and 50's. A lot of men in that category can't even get laid anymore, let alone with a hot young lassie.

This is confounding different processes/relationships - A woman will always have a steady supply of people who want to have sex with her (a 20 year old will eff anything - i know because i was, and i did), but not necessarily a steady supply of aspiring husbands, and in my understanding this is what the thread was about.

It is true that a 40+ year old guy on average will have harder time getting (casually) laid. But if he's in half-decent shape and has everything else in his life going on okay he won't have that much trouble getting married...

I was watching millinoaire matchmaker yesterday (my girlfriend made me do it ), and it was just surreal how many of the stereptypes we see and perpetuate on this board were obvious there:

Both of the milionaire guys there were in their mid or late 40's. they were good looking for that age (could easily pass for average late 30s guys). So one of them was adamant that he wouldn't marry a woman over 30, and the "matchmaker" was busting his bollocks about it. half of the women were okay with dating an older dude, half weren't. Interestingly, the ones that weren't, had the least going on for them in terms of looks and age.

Finally, the dude picked a 30+ woman (contrary to his rule), but she was very pretty and had a great personality, and a kid, but just seemed like a good catch. The other dude was turned down by a mid-30s, dry-looking girl with nothing going on for her. If she didn't like him at all - that's fine. But, makes you wonder what are her better options than a decent looking mellow rich guy?

(don't give me the **** about how all this is staged etc - I know, I know...)

March 13, 2009

I have to figure that you don't work with numbers much, so let me explain it simply. If you knew that you had a 12% chance of being in a fatal transportation accident on the daily commute to your work, would you still go every day? If so, you would probably die in 2 weeks. Call me crazy but that seems big enough to discuss.

.

Actually, I have a BS in Computer Engineering minor in MATH!

12 and 100 chance for a car ride can NOT be compared.

Obviously stating that ONE individual has a 12 and 100 chance of an incident happening with something that the individual does 5 days a week is COMPLETELY different than having a 12 and 100 chance of marrying someone young. You know why, because YOU the individual aren't doing it 100 times. The example that you gave genuis only works if YOU the individual were getting married 100 times then YOU would surely marry someone 10+ years younger 12 times out of that 100 times. Please don't play the numbers game with me because you will lose everytime!

Like I said, having a 12% chance of marrying someone 10+ years younger than you is a very small chance since on most people marry only once.

Just like your chances of getting in car crash is higher than chances of getting in a plane accident..the rate is higher because people drive more often than they fly. People drive to work way more often than they get married. Since marriage should be a once in a lifetime thing then a 12% chance of marrying someone 10+ younger is very low and not worth discussing.

March 13, 2009

12% vs 2%, if the sources are accurate, is actually surprisingly high difference in odds (for such a large age difference) explained by a single variable (gender), I am a bit surprised. (I crunch numbers for a living, and I'd get excited any time I get a result like this...). So there is clearly some notable regularity here.
10% chance of anything is pretty okay, actually. I wish the odds on the job market when I was looking for a job, were this good. (In reality, they were 4%, and I was thankful for that.)

Well Sam, forego the girlfriend and wait it out and see if your 12% chance of finding another pretty young than is worth it. Ha!

March 13, 2009

Unless you're already in love with her, why would you ever want to find out?

tell that to all the hot young bucks getting it on with women in their 40's and 50's. A lot of men in that category can't even get laid anymore, let alone with a hot young lassie.

LMAO...EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Who the hell wants to screw and old man. I'm sorry I'm so not interested. At 32 I wouldn't even be a little curious to screw and old man. Ugh, at my age my guy can pick me up twist me around and do all kinds of tricks..guaranteed his 40+ counterpart can't keep up.. no thank you to the old man!

March 13, 2009

This is confounding different processes/relationships - A woman will always have a steady supply of people who want to have sex with her (a 20 year old will eff anything - i know because i was, and i did), but not necessarily a steady supply of aspiring husbands, and in my understanding this is what the thread was about.

It is true that a 40+ year old guy on average will have harder time getting (casually) laid. But if he's in half-decent shape and has everything else in his life going on okay he won't have that much trouble getting married...

I was watching millinoaire matchmaker yesterday (my girlfriend made me do it ), and it was just surreal how many of the stereptypes we see and perpetuate on this board were obvious there:

Both of the milionaire guys there were in their mid or late 40's. they were good looking for that age (could easily pass for average late 30s guys). So one of them was adamant that he wouldn't marry a woman over 30, and the "matchmaker" was busting his bollocks about it. half of the women were okay with dating an older dude, half weren't. Interestingly, the ones that weren't, had the least going on for them in terms of looks and age.
Finally, the dude picked a 30+ woman (contrary to his rule), but she was very pretty and had a great personality, and a kid, but just seemed like a good catch. The other dude was turned down by a mid-30s, dry-looking girl with nothing going on for her. If she didn't like him at all - that's fine. But, makes you wonder what are her better options than a decent looking mellow rich guy?

(don't give me the **** about how all this is staged etc - I know, I know...)

So at the end of the day the dude picked someone over 30? Okay...

These guys were rich. We've already agreed that many young girls will indeed marry a rich man.

As for marriage, I believe both men and women have no problem marrying if they want to be married. I have at least 4 people I can call right now and know that I can be engaged within 3 months and married with in 6. The question is what do you want to settle for? I don't want to marry just for the sake of being married.

Additionally, even the 2% vs. 10% thing with marrying someone 10+ years older. Again, nobody said that the chances of a women marrying someone 10+ years younger was just as high as the man's chance. My point is that 2% and 12% is still a SLIM chance. It's not something I'd bank on because at the end of the day your chances are still 88% that you will NOT marry someone 10+ years yonger...I still believe the 12% for men is signficantly higher than women due to cultures that do arranged marriages and rich men marrying young women. If you take them out of the scenario I'd bet that the 12% would at least go down by half!

March 13, 2009

Well Sam, forego the girlfriend and wait it out and see if your 12% chance of finding another pretty young than is worth it. Ha!

Why would I do that? That would be dumb and irrational - the expected value of a new girlfriend (i.e. new girlfriend quality X times the probability of finding her) is extremely low. We need to be talking about Meghan Fox lookalihe who has her doctorate but also shows true commitment to traditional family values too, and maybe not even then.

Women are more likely to have the mentality of trying to always do better, but neglecting the high uncertainty that they will actually get it, many end up with nothing at all. Hence the discrepancy in older guy - younger woman and older woman - younger guy marriage rates.

There is no a priori way to judge any odds as 'high' or 'low', but comparing the odds of 2% vs 12% as a function of a single variable, that's a major difference, clearly not due to a random process.

March 13, 2009

... I still believe the 12% for men is signficantly higher than women due to cultures that do arranged marriages ...

The figures were only for America, the USA.

March 13, 2009

So at the end of the day the dude picked someone over 30? Okay...

These guys were rich. We've already agreed that many young girls will indeed marry a rich man.

As for marriage, I believe both men and women have no problem marrying if they want to be married. I have at least 4 people I can call right now and know that I can be engaged within 3 months and married with in 6. The question is what do you want to settle for? I don't want to marry just for the sake of being married.

Additionally, even the 2% vs. 10% thing with marrying someone 10+ years older. Again, nobody said that the chances of a women marrying someone 10+ years younger was just as high as the man's chance. My point is that 2% and 12% is still a SLIM chance. It's not something I'd bank on because at the end of the day your chances are still 88% that you will NOT marry someone 10+ years yonger...I still believe the 12% for men is signficantly higher than women due to cultures that do arranged marriages and rich men marrying young women. If you take them out of the scenario I'd bet that the 12% would at least go down by half!

I don't even want to marry anybody 10 years younger. I'm just puzzled by the general process of delaying marriage further and further away given that on *average* (duh), it will get only harder and harder to accomplish over time, and the negative effects of time elapsed seem to be slightly more pronounced for women, that's all.

March 13, 2009

Personally I wouldn't date anyone under 40. I'm 47, good shape, work out daily...professional job, but certainly not rich and at best I'm average looking. I'm currently dating someone my own age and since I've been divorced I dated younger women, and while they are certainly attractive, there is something missing.

For me, women over 40 are...

Much more comfortable in their own skin and who they are.

Much calmer about life in general.

Much less likely to base their happiness on me and what I do or don't do.

More likely to accept that I have hobbies AND encourage me to pursue them and spend time with my friends.

More likely to have their own interests also and not have the relationship as the sole basis of their happiness.

More likely to see a relationship as what it should be, the healthy coming together of two separate people whose differences strengthen not diminish each other.

March 13, 2009

Why would I do that? That would be dumb and irrational - the expected value of a new girlfriend (i.e. new girlfriend quality X times the probability of finding her) is extremely low. We need to be talking about Meghan Fox lookalihe who has her doctorate but also shows true commitment to traditional family values too, and maybe not even then.
Women are more likely to have the mentality of trying to always do better, but neglecting the high uncertainty that they will actually get it, many end up with nothing at all. Hence the discrepancy in older guy - younger woman and older woman - younger guy marriage rates.

There is no a priori way to judge any odds as 'high' or 'low', but comparing the odds of 2% vs 12% as a function of a single variable, that's a major difference, clearly not due to a random process.

LMAO..you're funny. Clearly 2% is much lower than 12% and it isn't random. I've stated where I think it comes from....Bottom line is many rich men marry young women ie Donald Trump, Russel Simmons. However, they are all filthy rich! Additionally, I'm sure there is a higher number of young women that will take an older mate than young men that will take a younger make. That was never my debate.

My debate is that on HIGH average, people date and marry people in their age group (within 5 to 7 years). The stats that CLV so graciously added to the board support that point. My original post always stated that there are exceptions to the rule and those exception may be higher on the male marrying young women side but on HIGH HIGH average (88%) most people marry people farily close to their age.

March 13, 2009

The figures were only for America, the USA.

Why do you keep saying that? Do you not realize that this is the melting pot? Other cultures live here! I went to an arranged marriage ceremony in washingon, dc before. If they get married in the states that is factored into that stat.

March 13, 2009

I don't even want to marry anybody 10 years younger. I'm just puzzled by the general process of delaying marriage further and further away given that on *average* (duh), it will get only harder and harder to accomplish over time, and the negative effects of time elapsed seem to be slightly more pronounced for women, that's all.

I concur...I don't want to marry anyone 10 years older. I agree that there is no point really in delaying marriage until I'm 40+. I'd that is hard for men to marry 10+ years younger and to get married at all as they get older as well. But slightly more pronounced for their female counterparts

March 13, 2009

Personally I wouldn't date anyone under 40. I'm 47, good shape, work out daily...professional job, but certainly not rich and at best I'm average looking. I'm currently dating someone my own age and since I've been divorced I dated younger women, and while they are certainly attractive, there is something missing.

For me, women over 40 are...

Much more comfortable in their own skin and who they are.

Much calmer about life in general.

Much less likely to base their happiness on me and what I do or don't do.

More likely to accept that I have hobbies AND encourage me to pursue them and spend time with my friends.

More likely to have their own interests also and not have the relationship as the sole basis of their happiness.

More likely to see a relationship as what it should be, the healthy coming together of two separate people whose differences strengthen not diminish each other.

That was nice...See, this is what i mean...People in the same age ranges usually are looking for the same things. I've said from the start that no grown 40+ man or woman should want a 20something for a serious relationship or an early 30 something. Just doesn't seem right that you'd have the same interest, life experiences etc. etc. It is bound to leave someone dissatisfied

March 13, 2009

SamSpade - we have already established that women who are young and very attractive will marry men who are rich and if they are good looking even easier to make the connection. That's not news, but what is the precentage of truly goodlooking and extremely wealthy men out there? We are not talking your avergage dime a dozen 100K earning man, we are talking weatlhy. Wealthy men have more options because young women want to be taken care of, at least for the first half of their lives. What happens after 10 or 15 years of that life when they still have their youth and the man starts to physically slow down or he is diagnosed with a disease and she still has her whole life ahead of her and he is sitting at home coughing up blood?

Secondly, you question why so many people put off marriage to later in life and I think the answer to that is simple, because people can there is no point rushing to get married in your 20's when there is so much more to life than cooking and putting out babies. Marriage is not the end all be all for most people these days, be it women or men. Look at what happened to all those couples who married young in their 20's, 10 or 20 yrs ago, where are they now? I'll tell you where they are now, more than 50% of those people are divorced and on dating sites hoping to get get together with other single parents for a second chance at love. NOTHING wrong with that. But a lot of people see that and figure if they can make it work a second time around and often even more successfully than the first time around, why not wait until later in life once you are financially and emotionally stable and mature enough to settle down and start a family?

What is unrealistic is people who wait until they are 40 and 50 and want to settle down with someone 10 or 15 yrs their junior to start it all then, that sense of entitlement just because they put the process off. To them I say get a grip, and screw your head on straight, you are no catch no matter how great you think you are for someone that much younger than you. Once the average man, which is typically the type to do this, realises this, the happier we will be and the more we will all benefit as a society. He for living longer next to a woman who really wants to be with him and she for the exact same reason. At the end of the day men die younger than women anyway, just for being born a man already inherits 6 years knocked off of his life expectancy. That should be reason enough to stop looking at that bald spot wishing for earlier times and realise it ain't gonna get better, live your age and you will live a happy life. But even so for a woman she can choose to never settled down and get all her needs met regardless she can have companinship from friends, sex from men if she stay relatively in good shape and financially she can meet her own needs. Men don't have companionship in a lot of case and sex is right out the window. So really who does have it better long term? Don't base reality on on 1% of the male populationg base it on society as a whole.

March 13, 2009

Looking at the latest posts it feels good to be a man living in southern Europe.

Dating(and marrying) women who are 7 - 10 years younger is pretty routine here.

There are difficulties, but they usually start when the couple has a difference of over 10 years.

In fact, most women my age(38) avoid dating me as they feel they are too old!

Still, it is interesting to catch up with US mentality nowadays... from afar that is...

Cheers,

March 13, 2009

I can't say I fully agree with this....I think it all depends on genetics. Not all men or women for that matter tend to age well.

March 13, 2009

Why do you keep saying that? Do you not realize that this is the melting pot? Other cultures live here! I went to an arranged marriage ceremony in washingon, dc before. If they get married in the states that is factored into that stat.

If it's your contention that arranged marriages between older men and younger women in the USA are common enough to skew the outcome significantly, I'm gonna need you to provide a source on that.

Bottom line is many rich men marry young women ie Donald Trump, Russel Simmons. However, they are all filthy rich! Additionally, I'm sure there is a higher number of young women that will take an older mate than young men that will take a younger make. That was never my debate.

So you're asserting that a significant number of American are rich and marry young women? While I'm pretty sure that most men will marry young if they can, I'm not sure enough rich men are around to skew the numbers.

Can you back that up?

Actually women who want to get married do so pretty easily as well.

I was debating your statement above in the context of age being a factor, which is what this thread is about. If your extended and revised opinion is that older men are a lot more likely to be able to marry than older women then we actually agree.

My debate is that on HIGH average, people date and marry people in their age group (within 5 to 7 years). The stats that CLV so graciously added to the board support that point.

A little earlier you said you considered people within 3 years to be your age group. Are your views changing? Because I was arguing against the Wednesday, March 11th version of your opinion:

I don't consider someone 3 years or younger.."older." If we were in high school at the same time, we're the same age. .... So, women within a 3 year range of each other really aren't much of a difference when considering a life partner in my opinion .... within 2-3 years of your age up or down is really all the same age.

My original post always stated that there are exceptions to the rule and those exception may be higher on the male marrying young women side but on HIGH HIGH average (88%) most people marry people farily close to their age.

Again I guess you need to define what 'close' is, then I will let you know if I agree or not. Your original number of 2-3 years was pure hogwash, but if you want to go with 'within a decade' I might have to agree. Just let me know which is your real opinion.

Those studies and stats are so true when they state how the avg age of married folks is increasing ....

Not by much. Over the last 120 years the average had only moved a few months. The age difference trend has been steadily increasing at a higher rate however. Honestly this was the opposite of what I expected.

Actually, I have a BS in Computer Engineering minor in MATH!

Are you any good? You honestly don't seem very analytical.

.... if YOU the individual were getting married 100 times then YOU would surely marry someone 10+ years younger 12 times out of that 100 times. Please don't play the numbers game with me because you will lose everytime!

Oh the irony. I love when someone says that right after making a huge blunder. Not even a sentence to separate the two! It's like art really.

In reality it means nothing of the sort. What you are saying is the logical equivalent of saying that since the odds of flipping heads is 1:2 then if someone flips a coin twice they will surely get heads once and only once.

In reality there is a mathematical distribution of likely outcomes.

I'd that is hard for men to marry 10+ years younger and to get married at all as they get older as well. But slightly more pronounced for their female counterparts

So 600% is 'slight' and 12% probability is 'not worth discussing' in your alternate Universe?

March 14, 2009

SamSpade - we have already established that women who are young and very attractive will marry men who are rich and if they are good looking even easier to make the connection. That's not news, but what is the precentage of truly goodlooking and extremely wealthy men out there? We are not talking your avergage dime a dozen 100K earning man, we are talking weatlhy. Wealthy men have more options because young women want to be taken care of, at least for the first half of their lives. What happens after 10 or 15 years of that life when they still have their youth and the man starts to physically slow down or he is diagnosed with a disease and she still has her whole life ahead of her and he is sitting at home coughing up blood?

Secondly, you question why so many people put off marriage to later in life and I think the answer to that is simple, because people can there is no point rushing to get married in your 20's when there is so much more to life than cooking and putting out babies. Marriage is not the end all be all for most people these days, be it women or men. Look at what happened to all those couples who married young in their 20's, 10 or 20 yrs ago, where are they now? I'll tell you where they are now, more than 50% of those people are divorced and on dating sites hoping to get get together with other single parents for a second chance at love. NOTHING wrong with that. But a lot of people see that and figure if they can make it work a second time around and often even more successfully than the first time around, why not wait until later in life once you are financially and emotionally stable and mature enough to settle down and start a family?

What is unrealistic is people who wait until they are 40 and 50 and want to settle down with someone 10 or 15 yrs their junior to start it all then, that sense of entitlement just because they put the process off. To them I say get a grip, and screw your head on straight, you are no catch no matter how great you think you are for someone that much younger than you. Once the average man, which is typically the type to do this, realises this, the happier we will be and the more we will all benefit as a society. He for living longer next to a woman who really wants to be with him and she for the exact same reason. At the end of the day men die younger than women anyway, just for being born a man already inherits 6 years knocked off of his life expectancy. That should be reason enough to stop looking at that bald spot wishing for earlier times and realise it ain't gonna get better, live your age and you will live a happy life. But even so for a woman she can choose to never settled down and get all her needs met regardless she can have companinship from friends, sex from men if she stay relatively in good shape and financially she can meet her own needs. Men don't have companionship in a lot of case and sex is right out the window. So really who does have it better long term? Don't base reality on on 1% of the male populationg base it on society as a whole.

Great Post!

March 14, 2009

Well I am a women and have peaked later in life. I was not all that in High School, although I could hold my own. I dated guys when I was 18 yrs old who were 24 yr old and now that I am in my 40s I can still date guys in their 20s (who think I am 28 yrs old) and have, but prefer not to.

A little bit of weight, not fat, actually makes you look younger when you are older. Look at older women who are too thin and you can see their cheek bones, yuck, makes them look old. Put a little fat in there and they look youthful. There has been a study on this as well.

March 14, 2009

Yeah, there was a winner on The Biggest Loser a couple of years ago. Her body looked much, much better after her loss but her face looked 10 years older! Still, she was more attractive overall after the weight loss.

March 14, 2009

So who do you think would have an easier time getting laid

A forty five year old woman who is in shape, but broke who goes to a party full of college boys

or

A forty five year oldman who is in shape, but broke who goes to a party full of college girls

?

March 14, 2009

So who do you think would have an easier time getting laid

A forty five year old woman who is in shape, but broke who goes to a party full of college boys

or

A forty five year oldman who is in shape, but broke who goes to a party full of college girls

?

Easily, the woman. College boys are horny and will take any opportunity for sex. She's called a MILF.

I don't know any college girl who would get on a 45 year old man at a party, unless he is George Clooney. What is a 45 year old guy doing at a college party anyway?

March 14, 2009

Easily, the woman. College boys are horny and will take any opportunity for sex. She's called a MILF.

I don't know any college girl who would get on a 45 year old man at a party, unless he is George Clooney. What is a 45 year old guy doing at a college party anyway?

Is it more morally acceptable for the 45 year old woman to be at the college party?

March 14, 2009

Easily, the woman. College boys are horny and will take any opportunity for sex. She's called a MILF.

I don't know any college girl who would get on a 45 year old man at a party, unless he is George Clooney. What is a 45 year old guy doing at a college party anyway?

I agree.. the woman... easily.. and she could get laid by more than one guy if she wants. (and I don't mean at the same time )..

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