How do I recover after giving virginity 2 years ago?

[samsungxoxo]

I gave my virginity 2 years ago to a damn loser who promise me the world, only to forget me while on long distance, like I was nothing at all. Yes I'm still bitter, I'm mad as hell. How do I recover from this? Yea sucks, I can never have it back.

[Geishawhelk]

Thje same way I did when I lost mine to a callous, selfish opinionated egotistic moronic and abusive loser.

 

You put it down, and move on.

 

Simple.

 

Easy?

Nope.

But simple.

 

Because you're choosing to continue to carry this with you, in exactly the same way I did, for years.

 

Until I got so thoroughly pi$$ed off with hauling it around as excess baggage, I chose not to do it any more.

[BentSpine]

Not being a virgin is not a liability in my book. What I value is for my woman to be able to orgasm.

[Geishawhelk]

I don't think not being a virgin is the issue here. I think the not being avirgin because she gave her virginity to a guy who was completely and totally shytecrap, is the issue here.

 

She resents the fact that she lost something precious to someone not worth scraping a shoe on.

 

And many women do see virginity as something worth giving to someone worthy.

[samsungxoxo]

I don't think not being a virgin is the issue here. I think the not being avirgin because she gave her virginity to a guy who was completely and totally shytecrap, is the issue here.

 

She resents the fact that she lost something precious to someone not worth scraping a shoe on.

 

Yup that's exactly my point that I lost it and harvest two worthless years to a loser who upon our long distance relationship would simply forget about me like I was nothing, basically he went invisible and haven't heard from him no more. I can careless about waiting till marriage, fact I did not care about that either when I was a virgin but losing it to a loser who can forget you easily, damn that sucks.

[norajane]

Don't think of it as "losing" your virginity.

 

Think of it as choosing to have sex for the first time. At the time you made the choice, how did you feel? Were you excited? Happy? Curious?

 

You made the choice that was right for you at the time. It was something you wanted to do for yourself - you wanted to start having sex. Having sex for the first time isn't about him, it's about you.

 

You certainly didn't "lose" anything as if you weren't paying attention and misplaced it. You didn't give him anything, either. Your sexuality is yours and belongs to you and no one else and always will. All you did was choose to start having sex when you wanted to and were ready to.

[samsungxoxo]

Think of it as choosing to have sex for the first time. At the time you made the choice, how did you feel? Were you excited? Happy? Curious?

 

You made the choice that was right for you at the time. It was something you wanted to do for yourself - you wanted to start having sex. Having sex for the first time isn't about him, it's about you.

 

Yes I did wrote about it in my previous long ago posts when it first happened. At the time I sure was curious, doing it because I suppostly thought I had fallen in love with the right guy and yes was both excited and shock at the same time, fact I still was crying even when it ended (not out of pain but it was my first time, I didn't know how to react). Then he comforted me afterall, say it was ok. I'm the one who decided to do it and jump on top of him all anxious.

 

But now it's flashforward to 2 years later and afterall it did not work out as I expected, so I guess that's why I'm mad about it.

[norajane]

But now it's flashforward to 2 years later and afterall it did not work out as I expected, so I guess that's why I'm mad about it.

 

Most people don't end up forever and ever hearts and flowers with the first person they have sex with. Hardly anyone does!

 

It was right for you at the time, and you really wanted to do it at the time. It was a choice you made for yourself when you were ready. That's not something you need to feel bad about.

 

There's no point in being mad that he didn't turn out to be the guy you wanted him to be, at least not as far as your virginity is concerned. Unless you want to stay mad. If you want to stop being mad, then keep reminding yourself that you chose when you wanted to start having sex, and there was nothing wrong with it.

[carhill]

OP, just make love to more men and it'll get better. Take that from a guy who waited way too long and put way too much value on it. Enjoy the journey

[Geishawhelk]

Yup that's exactly my point that I lost it and harvest two worthless years to a loser who upon our long distance relationship would simply forget about me like I was nothing, basically he went invisible and haven't heard from him no more. I can careless about waiting till marriage, fact I did not care about that either when I was a virgin but losing it to a loser who can forget you easily, damn that sucks.

 

Then I stand by my first reply/post to you.

 

[trying123]

Don't worry about it, I have done much dumber stuff for current significant others, I have changed schools, jobs, money, and etc...

 

It is just something, people put too much stock in the one, I promise this will be an after thought, just give it time, I am not saying it does not suck though, just respect yourself and do not go sleep with a lot more people because your not a virgin

[samsungxoxo]

Don't worry about it, I have done much dumber stuff for current significant others, I have changed schools, jobs, money, and etc...

 

It is just something, people put too much stock in the one, I promise this will be an after thought, just give it time, I am not saying it does not suck though, just respect yourself and do not go sleep with a lot more people because your not a virgin

 

Thank you for your reply and yes I'm now know he was not worth my worries. At now that I gain more experience about relationships, I do know what to look for in a guy and what I would not put up with.