rpeaton Posted March 7, 2009 Posted March 7, 2009 Here is my dilemma. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years. We have had some rough spots, but mostly it has been great. He is 34 and I am 30. We live together and I thought we were on the road to marriage. We have talked about it for probably the last 6 months. In fact, I was sure he was going to propose around the holidays. When he didn't, I was very disappointed and ended up confessing that I was feeling that way. He was seemingly understanding and warm and told me "don't worry baby...it's coming". Around the beginning of February, we went out with some friends. My boyfriend came home early and I stayed out with a girlfriend of mine. It was unlike me to stay out really late. I did not call because I kind of got carried away after having a few drinks and just having a fun girls night out. I came home, and he was obviously hammered. He had come home and got himself all worked up into a jealous rage...I forgot my phone at home and he was calling me over and over and I wasn't picking up. He acted like a big jerk in front of me and my friend. He made a rude comment to me and was just overall pathetic. This sort of thing happened about a year ago and I told him that I would leave if he ever did it again. So.....here we are now. We have not been together in about a month. He is staying at a friend's house. I have rented another apartment. We are going to be moving out in about a week. The problem is....I don't want to break up with him. I love him soooo much. He is my best friend, and with the exception of a couple of times, he has been the most wonderful,thoughtful, loving man that I have ever been with. But..I cannot put up with that behavior...especially because this is behavior that his (late) father exhibited on a regular basis...I would not want a husband who acts like that, and I certainly would not want children to grow up with a father who flies off the handle (as mine did..minus the alcohol part). After all of this happened...my boyfriend said that he was feeling really pressured into the engagement and felt that he had some issues that he really needed to work out. He has begun seeing a therapist. I am literally sitting here in our apartment, frozen, and unable to start the packing process. I am having second thoughts. Do I stick with him while he "sorts out his issues", or do I move on??? Anybody have any wisdom to share?
Rogue52 Posted March 7, 2009 Posted March 7, 2009 IMO, you stick with him as he sorts out his issues. It might still be a good idea to live apart for some time. Living apart can make you better appreciate each other. You need to make your feelings clear on what you want and don't want. He can make a decision from there.
Recommended Posts