Author Peter_pan Posted March 10, 2009 Author Posted March 10, 2009 yeah i understand its the ego, but i really did want her to be my future and for us to share it together. ive not connected with anyone on that level like i did with her. she really was that important to me. i was stupid to have any doubts. i guess i didnt know what i had untill its gone.
love_fool Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 You really have the reason for your break up all turned around in your head. The two of you were not happy at the time- YOU WEREN'T HAPPY IN THE RELATIONSHIP. You wanted to experience life, the two of you were drifting apart and fighting... You wanted space from her. You keep going back and idealizing everything, but you guys were not happy at the end. All of this, I can relate to. It's the bitter truth. Obsessing over it/her won't make it better for you, because you want to live your life free. Life is long, you aren't ready now, but you will be in the future. Life is short, don't wallow in self-deprication over the past. The past is past, and you learn from your mistakes.
foxh1234 Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 i see what your saying. other areas in my life were going well, and then took a big nose dive. i guess i feel crap because i miss her. and feel guilty that i didnt stay in contact. i feel like i got my closure talking to her after a year and finally saying all those things i wanted to say, granted i missed a few and was slightly drunk but still. and i also feel crap because yes she got with him right away and is still with him. its like i meant nothing to her, even though i know thats not true. i really dont get how she went out with him straight away and that they now live together and are happy. i was her best friend. i thought she loved me more than anything. and it hurt to see that change. i miss simple things like shopping for groceries in the supermarket, her smell etc. even when i saw her at x mass, she wanted to avoid talking to me and tried to go back and dance with her friend after talking to me for like a minute ! and she is clearly totally in love with her bf. i feel like i let myself down when i lost her. it hurts that she was so cold to me when it ended. and how she showed no remorse for her actions. in fact she plastered all over her myspace at how happy she was right now, whilst i was feeling like death. i feel like my head is going to explode. i miss her, hate her, love her, want her, dont want her. i dont think i deserve what she put me through and i dont believe its me doing it to myself, she screwed me up. and i had to deal with the best i could. i dont want to waste more time on her. i wish it would all go away. all im left with is memories of what used to be and how i didnt treasure it at the time. Pete, just because she says she's happy and posts how happy she is on websites, that means nothing. She could be fighting everyday with her BF and hating life. Do you think she would post that ? Of course not. Don't assume she is having the time of her life because chances are, she's having her ups and downs just like all of us. From my own experience, my ex wrote the same crap on her FB page and friends weretelling me she is is so in love and the pics she looks so happy and in love. 2 days later she is banging my door down begging for me back. All the FB crap and MSpace is not a true reflection of ones life. Your ex is not living a fairy tale life and is probably not nearly as happy as you think.
Author Peter_pan Posted March 15, 2009 Author Posted March 15, 2009 Pete, just because she says she's happy and posts how happy she is on websites, that means nothing. She could be fighting everyday with her BF and hating life. Do you think she would post that ? Of course not. Don't assume she is having the time of her life because chances are, she's having her ups and downs just like all of us. From my own experience, my ex wrote the same crap on her FB page and friends weretelling me she is is so in love and the pics she looks so happy and in love. 2 days later she is banging my door down begging for me back. All the FB crap and MSpace is not a true reflection of ones life. Your ex is not living a fairy tale life and is probably not nearly as happy as you think. thanks man. yeah its not that i dont want her to be happy, i think she is. she dosnt lie about that sort of stuff, and her friend told me she was really happy. but yeh they will be going through ups and downs. i guess i just miss her and always will , even though i know there is no going back. i do wish i could been her friend and stayed in contact. i still want to make sure she is ok. i feel like i let her down.
Surfer Dude Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 Hey bro... Your ex is just a low quality person with flawed character, just like mine. Anyone who has the capacity to ABANDON their long term partner with no remorse, and then go bang other people the next day, is just a horrible excuse for a human being. You mentioned you're 21. That means we're the same age. Anyway, do you realize how much both of us have ahead of us? For instance, I could think of at least 10000 things I wanna try in my life and 1000 places I wanna visit, or even be with hundreds of women, but I know I won't get to do 10% of them, because our time as humans in this physical world is very limited. Future has such an immense potential, there is simply no reason to live in the past and waste our time reminiscing about what happened. I know it's sometimes hard to let go of this and move on, but do you really want to waste your life and this huge potential on depressing crap? I see guys in their 30s and 40s who got dumped by their wives and they still manage to move on, start dating new women and build themselves new lives. When we compare that to OUR age, it becomes almost ridiculous that a 21 year old person would think he has nothing valuable waiting for him in the future. As for your "friends", they are probably just a bunch of *******s. But always be aware that some people are very sensitive and intolerant of people who have problems in their lives and try to exclude them from their social circles, it might be that this happened to you. Just a thought. Book a vacation, go drinking with friends, build a new social life, read a good book, go running in the nature, bang some chicks, go out at night and admire the radiance of the stars... live is beautiful and we should cherish this immense potential, instead of wasting it on negative thoughts and complacency. At least your ex isn't trying to crawl back into your life at regular intervals, you should be happy with that. To tell you the truth, I am still annoyed when mine tries to contact me, but that's because I want nothing of her. The thought of her NOT EXISTING within MY FUTURE is so soothing and so relaxing, I'm really happy I never have to see her again or talk to her again. Try to adopt that.
Author Peter_pan Posted March 16, 2009 Author Posted March 16, 2009 Hey bro... Your ex is just a low quality person with flawed character, just like mine. Anyone who has the capacity to ABANDON their long term partner with no remorse, and then go bang other people the next day, is just a horrible excuse for a human being. You mentioned you're 21. That means we're the same age. Anyway, do you realize how much both of us have ahead of us? For instance, I could think of at least 10000 things I wanna try in my life and 1000 places I wanna visit, or even be with hundreds of women, but I know I won't get to do 10% of them, because our time as humans in this physical world is very limited. Future has such an immense potential, there is simply no reason to live in the past and waste our time reminiscing about what happened. I know it's sometimes hard to let go of this and move on, but do you really want to waste your life and this huge potential on depressing crap? I see guys in their 30s and 40s who got dumped by their wives and they still manage to move on, start dating new women and build themselves new lives. When we compare that to OUR age, it becomes almost ridiculous that a 21 year old person would think he has nothing valuable waiting for him in the future. As for your "friends", they are probably just a bunch of *******s. But always be aware that some people are very sensitive and intolerant of people who have problems in their lives and try to exclude them from their social circles, it might be that this happened to you. Just a thought. Book a vacation, go drinking with friends, build a new social life, read a good book, go running in the nature, bang some chicks, go out at night and admire the radiance of the stars... live is beautiful and we should cherish this immense potential, instead of wasting it on negative thoughts and complacency. At least your ex isn't trying to crawl back into your life at regular intervals, you should be happy with that. To tell you the truth, I am still annoyed when mine tries to contact me, but that's because I want nothing of her. The thought of her NOT EXISTING within MY FUTURE is so soothing and so relaxing, I'm really happy I never have to see her again or talk to her again. Try to adopt that. man love hearing from you thanks for that bud, i felt empowered reading it . your so right.
Beautiful Inside Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 i know how you feel when my bf and i get in fights i leave to my parents house and as soon as i get there im like ok..... now wut....i have nothing to do....its so boring watching tv isn't the same even, or eating alone....it really sucks big time i hate it
Author Peter_pan Posted March 16, 2009 Author Posted March 16, 2009 yeah well ive gotten used to being "alone" as such. i can still remember how much it hurt to start with. in my old kitchen cooking dinner while she was "out" its all in the past though i guess. such a crappy experience to go through when your 20. splitting the furniture, leaving things behind. coming across old letters, putting there stuff in a box, finding holiday leaflets of places you had been together. most people would miss the intimacy and sexual side of a relationship. well i do but its not even that, i miss her as a person. never met anyone the same.
Heartbreak2 Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 just had a thought and yes its about the ex. well i was thinking to myself "god i'll never be with her again, suddenly made me feel a bit odd. i cant describe the feeling. and i have accepted that long ago. but its when i thought into the future i suddenly felt it a bit. like something wasnt quite right i know most people break up and never talk to each other again and various factors will determine this. but i dunno, i guess i am thinking of her again just now because i currently just lost the majority of my so called "friends" they all booked a holiday and didnt tell me about it.... do they think im stupid or something? anyway has everyone else felt this way? im just gutted that me and my ex couldn't have stayed really good mates. it feels like something is missing without her. how do people deal with the gap that the ex filled. surely it cant ever really be replaced. no matter what hobbie you take up Well in My case i have been separated from my 1st Love for about 5 years now. He has his life and i have mines. We still Care for each other and constantly keep in touch but is usually through Internet. I am still madly in love with him we where together for about 5 years i kinda grew apart because i was young... I am still in love with him and i think about it like this maybe it would be better not to keep in touch sometimes is harder especially if one person has more feelings than the other. I know it is for me to hear him talk about his girlfriend now and everything. We decided to meet up recently and i realized i just had to move on. He text me after dropping me off saying how beautiful i look and all but really! Nothing became of it. It is ok to have your bad days, weeks Heck even Months missing that other person but as time goes by it gets easier you either realize you Really did love her or you meet someone else and realize you didn't. As for your friends i don't really know that to tell you there it is kinda messed up they didn't tell you about it maybe you should ask why? and also another thing thats keeps us attached some what is that we have mutual friends so regardless we are bound to run into each other! And like you when a bad situation happens i get just like you and start dwelling on my past is kinda ridiculous how long is been and i am still in love with him and i really wouldn't wish that on anyone. There isn't really a true way of dealing with it... People say "oh go out,Keep your mind busy blabh" that never works for me When you are ready, you are ready and one day you will wake up and realize you didn't wake up thinking about her and thats just when is gonna get easier...... for me..it took about 3 years a 2 year old child and realizing that i have Responsibilities and can't be dwelling on something that will never be!
Author Peter_pan Posted March 17, 2009 Author Posted March 17, 2009 that sucks, you still love him but have a family? i dont think i could ever pretend or try and force myself to move on. i know it will get to a point where i just have to. i think i would like to be her friend but she probably wouldnt want to be mine. the last time i emailed, her bf emailed me back i wish they would just split up for good. then it would be so so much easier to talk to her without him getting wound up or anything. i know if i was in his shoes i wouldnt want her speaking to her first love. but why should it be up to him. also i dont really wake up and think of her right away like i used to.
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