tina01 Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 I have a friend who discusses me with her boyfriend all the time and they try to figure me out. She feels like me trying to start a business is just a front for me try to prove something...I have so many dreams that I'm trying to pursue, but whenever I try to tell her about them she laughs at me and makes joke about how I was in the past, etc. I cannot understand why she wouldn't commend me and congratulate me on my efforts. Everyone has got to start somewhere, right? Advice is greatly appreciated. . .
anne1707 Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 If she was a true friend, she would discuss any concerns she has for you with you and not just with her boyfriend.
Taramere Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 I have a friend who discusses me with her boyfriend all the time and they try to figure me out. She feels like me trying to start a business is just a front for me try to prove something...I have so many dreams that I'm trying to pursue, but whenever I try to tell her about them she laughs at me and makes joke about how I was in the past, etc. I cannot understand why she wouldn't commend me and congratulate me on my efforts. Everyone has got to start somewhere, right? Advice is greatly appreciated. . . Ideally, a friend would respond to your plans and dreams with enthusiasm and encourage you to focus on manageable goals that will help you achieve your plans. If nobody you know responds to your dreams and plans in that way, then it suggests one of two things. Either your life is full of critics who suck every ounce of joy out of your life like the Dementors in a Harry Potter film. Or, you've developed the reputation for being someone who is full of big ideas, but never follows through on any of them. If it's the former, then you need to make it your goal to build a few more positive relationships that will counteract the effect of the critics. If it's the latter, the answer would seem to involve getting out there and doing what you need to do to fulfil your dreams....instead of killing your energy for them by discussing them with people who you know very well will be unsupportive and negative.
Scree Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 She's most probably jelous, that you actually have the will and the plan to initiate a positive change in your life. Some people are too lazy. For instance, I recently started to work out. Fitness and all the works. Only my girlfriend and closest relatives support me. Other people focus on the negatives. It's just how the world goes. People will always try to undermine each other. My guess is, your friend isn't really a friend. She's more of a buddy, someone you hang out and who's fun to be around with but not really the kind of person you would want to trust your issues and your dreams with. I could be wrong.
Ronni_W Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 Tina, This person is no longer acting like your "friend"...and people who piss on other people's dreams have some serious issues of their own, IMO. Someone else posted about a similar non-supportive "friendship" a few weeks ago. If the following link doesn't work, you may wish to check the post 'problem friend' from around Feb. 16. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=2048508&postcount=2 It is that we do need to let our toxic relationships go, for our own sanity and safety. I also have a g/f from high school who wants to keep me locked in her version of how I used to be (it's not even an accurate version, but whatever -- she's welcome to it.) I decided that contact with her will be the bare minimum that I can possibly do, and if she wasn't married to my cousin, I'd probably have just totally cut her off. Hugs, and good luck in successfully fulfilling ALL your dreams!
Author tina01 Posted March 6, 2009 Author Posted March 6, 2009 Thanks for the advice thus far. . .I do agree, to some extent I have started stuff and not finished, but I have seen all this as stepping stones to take me where I need to go and where I'm at. I'm not trying to make up excuses, but I enjoy trying things once to see if it will impact my life greatly. If it does, I continue to strive for more. I wonder why she may be envious?
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