slw1403 Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 Hi everybody, I stumbled upon this website while looking for advice on how to deal with a break-up, and this is my first post on any forum. Recently, my boyfriend of three months and I broke up. He was my first boyfriend and it was a culmination of issues stemming from my insecurites. He also said we didn't have much in common, which is true but I didn't really see that as an issue. I would really like to get back together, and I am hopeful that there is a chance it could happen, because he said that he would think about his feelings for me and if he would like to try again. He also said that breaking up with me was the hardest thing he's ever had to do. It only happened about ten days ago, and I've felt like crap ever since. He said that he still wanted to be friends and he'd see me soon, but I've heard nothing from him. I know it's only been a short amount of time, but should I be worried that I've not heard from him? Could he already be over everything? I've avoided all tempation to contact him and am trying to give him time and space. Should I try to contact him at all or should I wait until he contacts me? My birthday is next week and I really would like him to come out and celebrate, but I don't know if I should ask him to. What should I do? Do you think there is any chance at a reconciliation and if so, how do I go about starting things up again? Or am I just being painfully optimistic? Thanks, Sophie.
Zapbasket Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 It's understandable to be hopeful. But, when someone says they don't want to be with you, you have to take them at their word. That means that you must not contact them, for any reason, and you must instead focus your energies on healing from the hurt of being broken up with and moving forward with your life. It's hard to do, but it really is the only path to take. If, after more time has passed, you find you still are as hopeful about a reconciliation as you are now, it might be sensible to contact him and lay your feelings out on the line. Be prepared to be painfully let down, though. And if he says "no" at that point to a reconciliation, leave it at that, and focus on accepting the loss. Breakups suck. You'll find plenty of people here to commiserate with--you're not alone!
LoveUrselfFirst Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 I don't care what anyone says but its hard to go from a relationship to a friendship. The feelings are still there, regardless and someone is bound to get hurt. Anyways in regards to your situation, I think that you are just hurting right now. You just stated that he told you that he would keep in contact with you but he hasn't, so I think you should start seeing that as a sign. I'm sorry that it has happened to you, but right now continue on with "you". Hun your birthday is coming up and just realize that great things are going on in your life, if not it will. Keep your head up.
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