JtTheWifey Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 I don't really know how to start, I am new to this. So, I will try my best I'm 19 years old. I just got married, three months ago. The marriage itself isn't going to well. We should still be in the 'honey moon phase'. We hardly ever have sex. I moved from IL to AZ due to the fact that he is stationed here, (he's in the airforce) I was extremely close with my family, I saw everyone of them everyday. They are my best friends. This is the first time I have ever been away from them. I am extremely lonely, and depressed I find myself sleeping until 3 in the afternoon. I've been trying to get an appointment with a Phyc but no one is taking new patients, so i am going to my regular doctor to get on antidepressents, which I had been on in IL. I am suffer from manic depression and panic attacks. I was taking Welbutrin, Lexapro and Ativan. I have gone off of all of them cold turkey. Anyways, back to the point. My husband works until six or later, and I am home alone all day. I haven't made any friends, I'm very shy and more of a 'home person' And to be honest, I do not like people around my own age, I perfer people alot older. I think that's because i grew up arond my family, and became so close with my mom/aunts. People my age seem completely immatuere. (not all of them, just most of them) So, with no friends and being home all day, and being 1800 miles away from my family I am completely lonely and feel empty. I have never wanted a baby. I always thought they where 'gross' The slobbering, the diapers, all of that. however lately I have really been wanting one. And I don't know if it is because of the fact that I am lonely, and my marriage isn't going the way it's suppose to, or if I really want one. I was wondering if anyone else has felt this way, and if infact anyone has had a baby because they where simply 'bored' and 'lonely' Thank you.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 'bored' and 'lonely' . These are 2 of the best reasons not to have a baby that on top of the fact your marriage isn't going so well baby's don't save wayward marriages. I would also consider some marriage counseling 19 is very young to get married IMO and to more that far away from all your family to boot! So no plz don't have a baby just yet if you need imed company/companionship something to take up some time at the moment get a pet 1st. Cause a baby is a life long unchangeable commitment and not something to take lightly..
norajane Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 Maybe you could get a job and spend some time growing into adulthood and developing yourself as a person with interests and accomplishments before adding a baby to the mix. If you felt better about yourself and your life, you wouldn't be in such a rush to have a baby. Plus, a job would give you money, so you might be able to get involved in activities or interests you aren't doing now. Yes, there are young girls who have babies because they are bored, lonely, feel unloved and want a baby who will "love" them. Those are all very, very bad reasons to have a baby. And they find out they are still bored, lonely, and feel unloved, only now they are responsible for a need baby 24/7 and never get any sleep or take a shower, and have no chance to go out, either. Plus, the strain of the added expense also makes things worse.
You'reasian Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 Maybe you could get a job and spend some time growing into adulthood and developing yourself as a person with interests and accomplishments before adding a baby to the mix. If you felt better about yourself and your life, you wouldn't be in such a rush to have a baby. Plus, a job would give you money, so you might be able to get involved in activities or interests you aren't doing now. Yes, there are young girls who have babies because they are bored, lonely, feel unloved and want a baby who will "love" them. Those are all very, very bad reasons to have a baby. And they find out they are still bored, lonely, and feel unloved, only now they are responsible for a need baby 24/7 and never get any sleep or take a shower, and have no chance to go out, either. Plus, the strain of the added expense also makes things worse. This is excellent advise. I hope the OP will consder it. Kudos to the OP for being so brave and moving away from home to be with her man - I'm sure he loves you very much and knows you are a very special woman. Congrats!
Citizen Erased Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 A child will only make things worse. Do not even consider this as a path.
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