I used to date black guys and my new boyfriend is racist. How can I hide it from him

[jester]

What a brawl, guys, and I'm not in it. Damn! moimeme, where art thou?

[crysiet]

You say it is miseducation and ignorance right Dyer. And that he was taught to be that way from a very young age? Did your father try to bring you up the same way? Well you have obviosuly gone against what your father thinks, why couldnt he gone against what he was taught too?

[dyermaker]

Originally posted by crysiet

Did your father try to bring you up the same way? Well you have obviosuly gone against what your father thinks, why couldnt he gone against what he was taught too?

 

My father isn't my biological father, but a great man who stepped up to raise me and love my mother. I met him when he was five. My father's mother left him when he was a child, so he was raised by a single parent--an old crotchety racist. I was raised by two parents, one not so ignorant and who was with me longer-and enough to form me into the non-racist that I am.

[crysiet]

You appear to be smart and stable. I think that even if you didnt have that one parent who taught you humane values, that you would realize that those beliefs are wrong. I dont know maybe thats just me. My parents dont like white people much, but I dont agree with them at all. I discovered this on my own, self taught values. Society was different for your father when he was young, so maybe that is why it would be hard to go against the hatred. I can see why you respect him so much, and he does appear to be a good person. People sometimes know that they are doing wrong, but hiding it is a easier thing to do.

[Darkangelism]

Just realized how fitting this dicussion is...its black history month.

[UCFKevin]

Dyer, you met your father when HE was five or when YOU were five?

[dyermaker]

Originally posted by UCFKevin

Dyer, you met your father when HE was five or when YOU were five?

 

Sort of a silly question---Sorry bout that, I was five, he was older than five.

[doniker]

I am white and was raised in a very racist household.

 

In my mind I know being a racist is wrong but it was built into me to the point were interracial couples bother me.

 

To put the icing on the cake the first girl I ever loved dumped me for a black guy.

 

I have black friends and I know they are no different then me. I would have sex with a black woman but I don't think I could have a baby with one, for the sole purpose of how this world treats interracial people.

[UCFKevin]

Dyer, you never know, maybe he was a childhood friend and your mom ended up falling in love with him when he got older. Stranger things have happened.

 

I've watched too much Jerry Springer.

 

To put the icing on the cake the first girl I ever loved dumped me for a black guy.

 

Ooh fah. Racism schmacism, that stings regardless. Although I suppose it's racist to say this, perhaps, but given the general stereotype that black guys are typically better equipped....ah, I'll say no further.

[jmargel]

Everybody is racist in some way or another. Doesn't matter if its skin color, religion, looks, etc.. There is not one person that accepts everyone as the same as everyone else.

 

But back to the original poster. Now is the time to let him know this, and if he does have a problem with YOUR past then that is HIS problem. If he's willing to let you go because of your past then he doesn't deserve you. I would bring it up to him at some point, but don't tell him sorry, or act like you feel guilty just because of his beliefs. Because what that is going to do is give him the idea that he's right about everything, and it already puts the relationship in an unbalanced state.

 

Another thing is you can't be afraid of telling him your beliefs. By him being racist its already making you cover up your views about things. This isn't good. You should be able to tell him how YOU feel without him going off. If you are already scared about his reactions, then you need to really consider if you want to be with this guy.

[UCFKevin]

Extraordinarily well said.

[caramelbrownchick]

im not a racist

 

Mixed children do just fine hell im one and I do great.

 

Why is it that black people got brought over from Africa as slaves, the once they were freed from slavery, had to suffer for years and years were beaten hanged mistreated all for the color of their skin, had to start from having nothing to becoming something, had to deal with segregation and mistreatment, and still to this day people hate us for what shouldn't we hate white people??? Well most of us don't even after all that, come on whats the real reasoning for hating black people let me know because I'm lost and I'm clueless do they hate us to make themselves feel better, what we did wrong was being born diffrent from them , we couldn't even help that it makes no sense at all, at all so anyone who is rasist in my book is either scared, insecure with themselves, or they met a few black people they didn't like, but hell I have met alot of people of all diffrent races that I can't stand, someone explain rasism to me, preferably a racist person.

[Pocky]

What are you doing? Going to every single racial discussion on this board? This thread started in 2003!

[caramelbrownchick]

lol basically, it seems like there are alot of close minded people around here i just like to see what people have to say, are you offended or something.

[Pocky]

Originally posted by caramelbrownchick

lol basically, it seems like there are alot of close minded people around here i just like to see what people have to say, are you offended or something.

 

Well you're responding to a post that was started in 2003 and several people that posted in the thread in the beginning haven't been around in ages. So it's possible that the "close-minded" people you refer to in this post may not even frequent the boards any more.

 

No, I'm not offended. Should I be?

[caramelbrownchick]

thats true not trying to offend anyone,im a new user so i really didn't look at the dates, i resposnd to alot of other posts lol not only racist ones, but rasist ones hit close to home so i have to speak up.

[tokyo]

Start a new thread if you want, but I'm also surprised that you dig out old threads to respond to them. No offense meant.

[caramelbrownchick]

, like i said didn't know it was old until someone said something didnt look at the date, i will never do it again please forgive me.

[crazychick]

You know what is sick about this? These other guys you dated (black or white or whatever) did you care about them? As people? Do you understand that racisim and hate is part of why our country is so screwed up? I have this friend, and she is dating a "black" guy. I'm white and not once have I thought of him as black, he's just a guy. And a great, nice, sweet wonderful guy that treats her so well. I have never used the N' word, and I never in a million years would. And I couldn't bring myself to be with someone - or be around people that have that stereo typing because that is just fundementally wrong. If you cared about any of the guys that you were with in the past - how can you be around someone like this?

[tokyo]

Originally posted by caramelbrownchick

, like i said didn't know it was old until someone said something didnt look at the date, i will never do it again please forgive me.

Don't worry I may have done the sme thing in the past without knowing.