Emilyx Posted March 5, 2009 Posted March 5, 2009 Hi, I'm new around here and I'm having some issues reading guys. There's this guy that I've hung out with a couple of times before, but every time we hang out we are drinking with our friends and end up quite drunk. I know this might be a problem. The first time we got along really well. Spent the whole night talking. The second time I was way too drunk and feeling quite depressed, he took care of me and stayed by my side. He even asked if I needed a cab home. The third time he tells me he likes me and asks me out, tells me he wants to kiss me and we exchange numbers. He texts me that night wanting to know if I got home safe. Then I see him a week later and he ignores me the whole night. I just don't understand. Anyone with some advice? It would be appreciated.
CandyGirlXO Posted March 5, 2009 Posted March 5, 2009 Well when he told you that he liked you and that he wanted to kiss you, did you tell him that you felt the sameway? If you seemed not interested maybe he is hurt.
carhill Posted March 5, 2009 Posted March 5, 2009 Hi and welcome. So, what happened when you went out? Perhaps I'm misunderstanding your posting. It sounds like he asked you out and told you he wanted to kiss you. Did you go out (on a date) and did he kiss you?
Author Emilyx Posted March 5, 2009 Author Posted March 5, 2009 Okay so we just talked the whole time for hours and it's not the first time we've hit it off. We were even talking about what we would do for a first date. I didn't end up kissing him but it was because I was nervous and now that I look back on it I do regret it. I left that night with my friends and we said bye to each other. That's when he texted me asking if I got home safe and I did reply. It wasn't till a week later that we are all hanging out with our mutual friends that he ignores me. He also told my friend that 'he didn't mean to come on so strong'. Maybe he freaked out? Or maybe his just not into me.
carhill Posted March 5, 2009 Posted March 5, 2009 I would suggest that the timing was off. If you otherwise find him interesting and attractive, try re-starting the clock with a bit of distance (time-wise) and some targeted flirtation. IOW, don't take all this so seriously. IMO, you want a guy who kisses you (shows his attraction), not someone who talks about it. I did a lot of the latter when young and had some great female friends as a result, but few girlfriends. IMO, he needs to figure it out on his own to be a good potential partner to anyone.
Nicodaemos Posted March 5, 2009 Posted March 5, 2009 Well, if he said to a friend that he didnt mean to come on too strong, then that should be a blatant indicator that he likes you. Your not kissing him may have been misinterpreted by him. Standard rule it seems for all relationships, Communicate plainly, and openly, even at the beginning. Tell him how you feel. Tell him you were worried about kissing so soon, and was kinda worried about self control, being that yall were quite drunk. Tell him it would be nice to have a sober date before the drunken one, and that may discourage him if he is only after one thing, and thats a good thing. If he really is interested, then he should be able to understand and he will probably be alot happier not being so confused. talk to him, dont wait, do it when you first can, if only a quick message, tell him, hey, can we talk later? dont worry, you will like where it goes. That way it removes the doubt of, did i move to fast, and lets him know that you have an interest too. Then, when yall got the time, figure it out. If you are nervous on a date about kissing, then say, hey, i kinda want to kiss you, but im nervous about it. tell him openly, and that will help sooo many things. kinda like narrating what is going on i guess. Being drunk thought is never a valid reason for allowing something that you normally wouldnt want to happen, or wouldnt do, to happen. Taking that drink is a choice, thats where the decision is made. good luck though, it sounds like you are interested in him, so I hope it works for yall.
carhill Posted March 5, 2009 Posted March 5, 2009 OP....were either of you drunk when he asked you out and mentioned wanting to kiss you? I just want to clarify.... Perhaps I'm wierd, but I've kissed a few ladies in my time and I can't ever recall ever talking about it. I do, however, talk about everything else
Author Emilyx Posted March 5, 2009 Author Posted March 5, 2009 Yes we had a few drinks. He told me 'I really want to kiss you right now'. But it never happened.
carhill Posted March 5, 2009 Posted March 5, 2009 Does he have that issue with all women? That's a really good question, IMO. It's part of being compatible (and healthy) for a relationship. When I was in that mode, I was lousy relationship material. More work and life experience was needed.
Author Emilyx Posted March 5, 2009 Author Posted March 5, 2009 Maybe his not interested in a relationship and just a hook-up? I'm 18 and his 21 so I guess we are both fairly young.
Recommended Posts