clv0116 Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 Yes, the guys I find attractive ARE generally found attractive by plenty of other girls, even the ones that aren't perfect looking but rather "interestingly attractive." The point I was making was that even if you just look at all the attractive people on earth, not everyone is going to want to date them, and "type" (which is often connected somewhat to personality) is the reason for that, not looks per se. In yet another study, this one on speed dating, almost everything a man had to know about whether or not he would date someone, he knew before his ass hit the chair. The women took much longer and were harder to read as to their level of interest. News flash: Women are less visual on average.
shadowplay Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 In yet another study, this one on speed dating, almost everything a man had to know about whether or not he would date someone, he knew before his ass hit the chair. The women took much longer and were harder to read as to their level of interest. News flash: Women are less visual on average. Unfortunately that doesn't surprise me...
Isolde Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 Shadow, the Jessica Alba example isn't really a good one because objectively according to men she is a 10/10. If you look at men and women who are around 7/10 on the looks scale, you'll find a lot of people aren't attracted to them, but alot of people are INSANELY attracted to them. Therefore, I don't see how it would be that much different for a 5/10 person.
shadowplay Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 Shadow, the Jessica Alba example isn't really a good one because objectively according to men she is a 10/10. If you look at men and women who are around 7/10 on the looks scale, you'll find a lot of people aren't attracted to them, but alot of people are INSANELY attracted to them. Therefore, I don't see how it would be that much different for a 5/10 person. But that's exactly what I wrote in my first response to your post. It becomes foggier closer to the middle of the spectrum. Yet people at the bottom end are kind of screwed.
Isolde Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 But that's exactly what I wrote in my first response to your post. It becomes foggier closer to the middle of the spectrum. Yet people at the bottom end are kind of screwed. Yes, but not necessarily--I've seen plenty of unattractive and obese people in relationships, often, but not always with similar looking people.
shadowplay Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 Yes, but not necessarily--I've seen plenty of unattractive and obese people in relationships, often, but not always with similar looking people. I just wish we lived in a world where everyone looked the same.
Isolde Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 Also, there's something called chemistry and if it doesn't happen after a couple dates, even attractive people will get rejected. So if you narrow "options" down to "people the person has chemistry with" you'll find that EVERYONE has less to choose from, than on a first date level.
Isolde Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 I just wish we lived in a world where everyone looked the same. I wish we lived in a world where there wasn't such a gulf between us, in looks and otherwise. But the same? nahhh, boring.
missdependant Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 Is it still possible to find someone if you're not attractive? That depends on what is defined as attractive. Everybody has their own tastes and opinion. While one person may not find you attractive, another may find you to be beautiful. Thus it is true that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, dear.
shadowplay Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 I wish we lived in a world where there wasn't such a gulf between us, in looks and otherwise. But the same? nahhh, boring. Well, where everybody looked attractive. I'll take boring over cruel.
LoveLace Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 Well it's a sure thing that people can feel very lonely and/or unattractive, even if they are very attractive...there could be guys that have liked you but too shy to say anything...you never know. Ultimately you'll find someone because of what's inside, not because of how you look. And it sounds like you are a good person and friend so you are on the right track.
clv0116 Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 Well, where everybody looked attractive. I'll take boring over cruel. Very very VERY few people are truly ugly looking. Most lie somewhere along the average.
Isolde Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 Seriously, I think the human race in general is pretty ugly. Go to a zoo and look at the wildcats, pandas, heck even look at the chipmunks and squirrels in the forest, and even the prettiest people look sort of awkward and graceless in comparison. At least that's the way I see it. OP, if you keep at a healthy weight, grow your hair long and healthy, and keep your skin clear, that alone should be enough. If you have a massive nose or chin, there is always plastic surgery (though generally, one feature doesn't make a person ugly, and I wouldn't advocate getting multiple plastic surgeries, as that could be emotionally traumatic). Don't beat yourself up over what you can't change, and instead learn to see the world as the ridiculous, random place it is, and hope that someone has the intelligence to take you and accept you as a whole. Don't settle for less than that!
LoveLace Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 Very very VERY few people are truly ugly looking. Most lie somewhere along the average. I agree...I think most of the high standards that people shape for themselves are all because of media/tv and exposure of people that starve themselves to death and have a constant expert make-up crew around. People strive to look like what they see, and they strive to attract the closest thing to it as they can get. Therefore more likely to see so many others as only "average" or "ugly". I was finally able to shape my "standards" on simply realizing what is really attractive to me and what is not. But for many, it's all about trying to get "arm candy".
BobSacamento Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 Your female friends should prove their worth and fix you up.
Mahatma Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 Very very VERY few people are truly ugly looking. Most lie somewhere along the average. :lmao::lmao::D:lmao::lmao: What a great conclusion you have come to. The majority of people are close average. I suppose that's why they call it average..
Sam Spade Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 Very very VERY few people are truly ugly looking. Most lie somewhere along the average. In the face - maybe. But bodies are relatively easy to make attractive, regardless where you start, so there's no excuse. I like mine so much that I'm probably a closeted homo.
clv0116 Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 What a great conclusion you have come to. The majority of people are close average. I suppose that's why they call it average.. Actually average is an imprecise term usually taken as "mathematical mean"; this definition does not in and of itself indicate that the average falls anywhere near any of the actual sample data. For instance consider the following data set: 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100 The mean is 50, however no value in the set is very near 50 in value. My comment was meant to point out that although 'attractiveness' varies among individuals the statistical variation seems to approximate a Gaussian distribution, although I'm unaware of any actual study confirming this result. But I still think my original assessment was accurate and much more concise.
burning 4 revenge Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 Very very VERY few people are truly ugly looking. Most lie somewhere along the average. I find the vast majority of people disgusting looking
clv0116 Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 I find the vast majority of people disgusting looking A lot of people in America are out of shape and eat too much, but overall I rarely see people I would consider truly hideous. You apparently have much higher standards than I have for physical beauty. I don't believe your standards to be typical but I might be wrong.
Els Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 Choice is over-rated. 100 retards and one perfect mate is equivalent to one perfect mate. In the interim, dating 100 retards can be a big waste of time and emotion. I sooooo agree with this. Being not-so-beautiful by typical standards may actually be a blessing in disguise -- I personally believe that because I am not the typical 'pretty young thing', the handful of men who've professed interest in me before truly have/had long term potential and love me for ME and nothing else. I may not have had as many dates as the average college student, but I've never been in a relationship that lasted less than a year either. Hence, I actually think that not conforming to model-standards of beauty are a very valuable time-and-investment saving filter. Perhaps one day I should start marketing it.
Citizen Erased Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 I find the vast majority of people disgusting looking Must be nice to be so perfect yourself.
colosseum Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 Whomever has been telling you you're not attractive, stop listening to them! If YOU believe you're beautiful, other people will, too. Yeah, I'm not so sure. If I weighed 160 pounds, had bad skin and didn't wear makeup or dress well... I am certain no-one would find me attractive, no matter how beautiful I thought I looked. Agree with waitress, disagree with citizen erased; are the standards of beauty such that 160lbs, "bad skin" (whatever that means), not wearing make-up, and not dressing "well" is not attractive?! I think not; that rather Citizen Erased has succumbed to the image of beauty that pervades our society through internet, advertising, movies, what-have-you. 1. On a personal note, make-up is not always good. Some people look GORGEOUS withOUT make-up and look foolish with it. 2. The standards of aesthetic beauty is no standard at all, but simply a matter of taste. Each person has an individual taste; that's why we talk about what "kind of girls/guys" we like. 3. That said, cultural/societal standards seem to inevitably affect us at least to some extent; so I will accept that I would prefer a 170lb human being over someone 4500lbs (i hope no one weighs that much). But to give you an example, a tribe in Africa finds what we would call "chubby" women the most beautiful (probably for biological reasons as well) 4. Agreeing with waitress, then, the most beautiful aspect of a human being, I think, is when he/she (she in my case) is comfortable with herself and is confident and cheery. My 2 cents.
shadowplay Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 The definition of attractiveness varies widely between cultures or eras (with some constants like symmetry, health, etc.), but it doesn't seem to vary nearly as much within cultures. Why? Because I strongly believe that people, particularly men, are hardwired to imprint on what people around them find attractive. Sexual selection. Like the peacock's tail a trait considered attractive can be fairly arbitrary, serving no functional value, but once that trait becomes desirable in a culture it benefits an individual to find a mate who has it or his offspring will be hard up for dates. It is better to learn preferences than to be born with them, because then your standards can adjust according to the climate of the times. In a period of poverty and starvation, for example, the chubby people will actually be healthier. Functionality tips the scales in one direction and sexual selection does the rest. I'm surprised by how rarely this theory is applied to people. Men insist that they all have their own physical preferences, and this is true to a point. But they don't realize or acknowledge what lemmings they can also be. With globalization the Western, Hollywood ideal of beauty is becoming the golden standard that defines individual desire and preferences. One study a few years ago found that men adjust their standards according to the sample of women they see. The more beautiful women they view on a daily basis, the higher their standards. But their viewing sample surprisingly extends to women they see in movies or magazines, even if those women are unavailable to them in real life.
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