stovepipe Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 About a month ago, I went NC with my ex. I never told her I was doing it, I just stopped talking to her. Now this person sits feet from me at work, I still haven't said a word to her. Prior to me going NC with her we had attempted to be friends, we were best friends for 3 years prior to us dating, I had asked her if she could just not bring up any guys to me, that it just wasn't easy for me to hear right now. Well...that was all fine and well...until she met someone...then continued to talk about this guy at work...quietly at first, but I still knew. Then one day she decided we couldn't be friends, no connection anymore, she couldn't talk to me about certain things. Yadda yadda....I said that isn't what I wanted but so be it. I asked for the things I had let her borrow back got them and went NC. About a week later she tried talking to me to which I didn't respond, she knew I had an appointment with a cardiologist the day she did try to talk to me, after our breakup they found something with my heart, stress only making things worse with it, she was begging and pleading to work things out and try to be friends. I didn't respond. I just wanted my time to heal and get healthy myself, I had enough stress in my life and she wasn't making me any better. Now she is just being vindictive, remember I sit feet from her at work, and she has just been talking about her new boyfriend non-stop...knowing full well that I don't want to hear about it, knowing full well that I'm not healthy and am trying to make myself better.... It makes me so angry, why and how can someone do that knowing that stress just makes my matters worse. Going NC has helped me greatly, I just wish that she'd at least respect me enough to not rub everything in my face...I take valium daily now, along with beta blockers, and anti depressents. Soon to be on anticoagulant medication. I'm not healthy and this person who I thought was one of my best friends seems like they're just trying to hurt me. Me going NC has caused her to become vindictive. I'll get through this....but its just not an easy situation.
LoveUrselfFirst Posted March 5, 2009 Posted March 5, 2009 "I just stopped talking to her. Now this person sits feet from me at work, I still haven't said a word to her" Well don't get offended but don't you think you should have at least told her that you were cutting off all communication? It's honestly not fair. Because if it were done to you, you'd be driving yourself crazy wondering "What the hell just happened". "Now she is just being vindictive, remember I sit feet from her at work, and she has just been talking about her new boyfriend non-stop...knowing full well that I don't want to hear about it, knowing full well that I'm not healthy and am trying to make myself better...." You obviously know why she is being vindictive....one because of what you did and because of the fact that you told her not to tell her if she is dating a new guy she is going to do it out of spite. Now what I think you should do is speak to your manager and ask if you can re-locate because of the noise pollution around you or that you feel that your production of work would do much better (if you did find an empty cubicle) if you would sit elsewhere. Obviously don't tell your boss the real reason.
Geishawhelk Posted March 5, 2009 Posted March 5, 2009 Now she is just being vindictive, remember I sit feet from her at work, and she has just been talking about her new boyfriend non-stop...knowing full well that I don't want to hear about it, knowing full well that I'm not healthy and am trying to make myself better.... It makes me so angry, why and how can someone do that knowing that stress just makes my matters worse. Going NC has helped me greatly, I just wish that she'd at least respect me enough to not rub everything in my face...I take valium daily now, along with beta blockers, and anti depressents. Soon to be on anticoagulant medication. I'm not healthy and this person who I thought was one of my best friends seems like they're just trying to hurt me. Me going NC has caused her to become vindictive. I'll get through this....but its just not an easy situation. Ok, all things aside, I hate to break it to you but she's getting to you because you're letting her. If she could somehow see that actually, you're not fussed any more and that it's water off a duck's back, she'd stop doing this. Look, you've broken up, and that it and all of it. Quite honestly, you have no more right to ask her to not discuss her current status, than your neighbour would asking you to not tidy up your garden, because his is a mess. What you need to do is to change your mind-set and take it on the chin. She's your ex. get over it. breathe, and let it go. It's not your business. If you know that she's doing it deliberately to get your back up then you'll also know that she knows it's working. Wear an ipod in your ears while you work so you can't hear her. Or pay no attention. Look as if you're completely ignoring her.... chew a pen, tap the desk, whilst deep in thought....look remote and distant. After a while, if she sees it has no effect, she'll stop. But really, it's up to you to actually genuinely not let it affect you. your call.
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