a_f_w Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 I've been in NC with my ex for about 6 weeks now, and it's great - I've been feeling awesome. I've not said a single word to her and she knows nothing about my life. I've had I think 4 or 5 communications from her, none of which got a reply. The other day my housemate saw her and she asked after me, and he said... well, actually I don't know what he said. He's a bit slow and I couldn't get it out of him. Apparently he said that "he seems like his usual self", and also mentioned that I had gone out to this event I went to about a month ago , which I had almost forgotten about anyway. Seemed weird to say it. I don't know what he'd have said to her really - like I said, he couldn't really tell me and besides he has the bizarre habit of totally bull****ting when relaying conversations to people. Like he'll just remember it all completely wrong. The dude doesn't even know anything about what I do - we never talk or anything. I've been doing so many awesome things and getting involved in new projects that he hasn't heard about whatsoever. I also fear that he might have "tried to help" by saying some kind of bollocks like "he seems to miss you", you know? I don't seem to miss her - my housemates only realised we'd broken up weeks later when she hadn't come round for a while. In fact I still haven't explicitly mentioned it to them, since we don't talk about that kind of thing. They certainly don't know the circumstances surrounding the breakup (she cheated on me and left with him, zero remorse or apology), and so might be even more prone to saying something stupid thinking that maybe I want her back. It has made me feel stress again about it, because I really hate to be misrepresented and I wish he had just said "he's fine" and then stfu. By telling her a few little bits and pieces about my life he will have offered some kind of totally false picture about what I've been doing since I cut contact. Ideally, she would know nothing. Failing that, I'd want her to know the truth, how I would describe things. Worst of all, knowing a little bit, kind of contorted, perhaps even with plain lies and **** he decided to make up at the time. You guys must have to deal with this a lot more often than I have. Her and I shared no friends and this housemate guy is the only person who sees us both regularly (they work at the same place, but not together really). Regardless of the situation and people involved, I just hate to be misrepresented. When someone speaks of me to another person and gets it wrong I feel so ****ed up about it. I'd rather they know nothing about me at all than to hear something untrue, even if it's not particularly bad or anything. I don't feel awful, but it's the worst day I've had for like a month. In fact it's the only bad day I've had at all since then. I would have moved away from this damn town as soon as I could but there's other things tieing me here now. eh.. no question I guess. But reply anyway if you want Thanks
LoveUrselfFirst Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 I don't feel that you need to speak to her because for all you know, your housemate is just really not that bright, if you know what I mean, so don't assume that he's telling her stuff about you because he may not be doing so afterall and you don't want to get into a fight about that. Don't talk to him about your ex, and if he talks to you about her, change the subject...just be like, "I'm not really interested oh hey what about the Knicks last night or something that happened that day or night before. You will have broken the NC is you feel the explain yourself to her, because you really don't have to.
Author a_f_w Posted March 4, 2009 Author Posted March 4, 2009 I don't feel that you need to speak to her because for all you know, your housemate is just really not that bright, if you know what I mean, so don't assume that he's telling her stuff about you because he may not be doing so afterall and you don't want to get into a fight about that. Don't talk to him about your ex, and if he talks to you about her, change the subject...just be like, "I'm not really interested oh hey what about the Knicks last night or something that happened that day or night before. You will have broken the NC is you feel the explain yourself to her, because you really don't have to. gosh, no way am I going to contact my ex. That's completely out of the question. I never bring up the topic of her with him, but he mentions her sometimes and I just don't contribute to the topic at all and so it moves on. I'm sure if he knew how we broke up he wouldn't really talk about her, but I think he believes we just drifted apart or something, but still could get along.
Geishawhelk Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 Don't let it rub you. The only way you can break no contact is if you break no contact. Chimps making gurgling sounds don't count.
sad_panda Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 Don't do anything. Let her think whatever she wants about you. If you still care about how she sees you then you are still allowing her to have some power over you.
Author a_f_w Posted March 10, 2009 Author Posted March 10, 2009 aye, the bad feelings over this didn't last more than a day or two. Thanks guys.
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