moxa Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 Hello Everyone, I am new here and will keep this short. My bf and I broke up recently, and throughout our whole relationship there was always this pressure to move in together and get married, which I resisted. I just don't jump into lifelong commitments at the drop of a hat. Anyway, I found out that two weeks after we broke up he got married to someone that he met on the internet who lives on the opposite coast. I know I am better off, but hearing it always helps and what would you guys do? He even sent this stupid e-mail once he realized that I knew that said, more than once, how everything is not as is appears...blah, blah, blah. Uh, if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck...
Geishawhelk Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 If he's married, what do you want to do? There's nothing you can or should do. It's over. He's got his life, you have yours. What's the point of this post? Sorry, I'm not getting your point here.....
openbook08 Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 ...then it IS a duck you are better off. the end. ps - nothin is as it seems ?? what is he f'in jack bauer?? manipulative talk. let him waddle off into the sunset. next.
LoveUrselfFirst Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 I'm glad to know that you kept it together and didn't allow him to pressure you to get married or movie in together. As far as what he did to you afterwards about getting married just two weeks after you two broke up is disgusting to me and I just think that you were better off.
Author moxa Posted March 5, 2009 Author Posted March 5, 2009 GeishaWelk, My point was that it was only two weeks after we broke up that he got married. I just don't see how meeting someone and marriage can happen in that short amount of time. Dealing with a break up is bad enough, but that news just made everything worse for a period of time. I am doing better now and am leaving this in the past:) Thanks for your advice and reply.
Geishawhelk Posted March 5, 2009 Posted March 5, 2009 moxa, the problem is there is absolutely nothing you can do, and as you had already broken up - with respect - it's none of your business. Just be really glad you managed to avoid the flaky loser. Maybe he'll be happy. Who knows? Who cares? Move on to bigger and better things, hun.
EasyHeart Posted March 5, 2009 Posted March 5, 2009 Moxa, Don't listen to the jerks on this forum. I wonder why some people bother to post on a broken hearts forum if they think breaking up is so easy. I don't have any idea what could be going on with your ex, but obviously he is pretty screwed up. I'm going through something similar, where my ex was always pushing for us to 'move faster' while I was trying to slow things down. People who rush into relationships are usually very immature and don't understand what an adult relationship is like. For them, love and relationships are all about infatuation. Think about 12 year olds and how fast they fall in and out of 'love'. Grown ups take their time getting to know people before making a commitment. A few months ago, one of my ex's good friends left her live-in BF of 8 years (with whom she had a child), met a new guy and got married two months later. I was grossed out by the story, but my ex thought it was 'romantic'. That should have been a warning to me. After we broke up, my ex said she needed to work on herself and didn't want to date 'for a very long time'. Three days later she got picked up in a bar and after two dates was 'in a relationship' with 'the most incredible guy' she'd ever met. You are better off without this guy. He is obviously very immature and/or incapable of having an emotionally intimate relationship. Take some time for yourself, do not contact him AT ALL, and let your heart heal. You deserve better than him.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted March 5, 2009 Posted March 5, 2009 Moxa, Don't listen to the jerks on this forum. I wonder why some people bother to post on a broken hearts forum if they think breaking up is so easy. . Thats not necessary your new here some of the older people have been around a lot longer and seen and herd allot more show some respect? geisha's post was to the point thats just how they do it every one has their own style.. Anyways my advice much the same nothing much you can do I'm sorry but I will add I agree with you no one meets some one and marries from the Internet that quick unless there both on crack lol.. He was talking to that girl way before he broke up with you she was his back up plan encase you wouldn't fold on his deal breakers make no mistake on that one!
Geishawhelk Posted March 5, 2009 Posted March 5, 2009 Moxa, Don't listen to the jerks on this forum. I wonder why some people bother to post on a broken hearts forum if they think breaking up is so easy. Where has anyone implied that it's easy? And be careful with the name-calling. It's not looked kindly upon here.... You are better off without this guy. He is obviously very immature and/or incapable of having an emotionally intimate relationship. Take some time for yourself, do not contact him AT ALL, and let your heart heal. You deserve better than him. Which is basically what I said, without any interim waffle... so what's your point?
Island Girl Posted March 5, 2009 Posted March 5, 2009 moxa, the problem is there is absolutely nothing you can do, and as you had already broken up - with respect - it's none of your business. Just be really glad you managed to avoid the flaky loser. Maybe he'll be happy. Who knows? Who cares? Move on to bigger and better things, hun. I completely agree with the above. If he married someone else only two weeks after you guys broke up -- you dodged a major bullet there. Be thankful he is now someone else's problem. And you can move on to better things (and better guys).
jasminetea Posted March 5, 2009 Posted March 5, 2009 Where has anyone implied that it's easy? And be careful with the name-calling. It's not looked kindly upon here.... I'll remember that in future Not that I'd be childish enough to do any reporting........ OP, I can imagine how you must have felt learning that. A guy who's professed deep love for you, goes off and gets married a fortnight after you break up with him. Wow. I'd have a lot of questions myself - were his feelings for me a lie? Was he unfaithful to me? Blah, blah. If its any comfort, it sounds like a rebound, but either way, best you learnt now his true colours than ten years down the line when you're married to him How did he know that you knew? Did you contact him? Have you contacted him since receiving his email saying its not as it seems? If so, leave it there, it's not going to do you any favours being in touch with him.
Author moxa Posted March 5, 2009 Author Posted March 5, 2009 Thank you for your replies everyone. I know there is nothing I can do, it just helps to hear that the situation is totally messed up. Plus, this is so out of left field that other peoples reactions and opinions are very helpful right now. You know positive reinforcements:) To answer the last question, we have a couple of mutual friends and one of my friends works with one of his friends and just flat out asked if he got married. It sounds like a stupid little telephone game when I try to type it out, but when I told my friends most were completely shocked...so I understand why the one wanted to find out for sure. When he does contact me for something. (which is rare) I am usually polite and keep it to the point. No need to stoop to his level and be immature. Thanks again everyone.
Island Girl Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 When he does contact me for something. (which is rare) I am usually polite and keep it to the point. No need to stoop to his level and be immature. Just an FYI - It isn't being immature to have healthy boundaries and make decisions to exclude unbalanced or toxic people from your life.
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