Men are starting to act like women

[BCCA]

An uncaring arsehole treats people like crap.

 

Ive known a lot of guys like that, and you know what? They rarely get dumped and usually get what they want from women. So really, who is to blame for this behavior? Its kind of a combination of both sexes

 

What I see a lot these days is women wanting to have their cake and eat it too. They want a guy to make all the moves, make all the plans, pay for everything, go on their schedule, and the only thing they offer in return is the possibility of sex. This 'equality' that women have asked for has backfired. You cant have it both ways, either you want an old fashioned relationship, or you accept a more modern approach to dating.

 

As far was why guys are more hesitant to ask girls out, trust me, put yourself in a guys shoes for a night out and youll see. Not only is it the rejection, but the fact that there is some really nasty people out there, who will use you for whatever they can get and walk away without a second thought. Guys do it, too, Im sure, but then theyre branded as jerks that just want some booty.

 

If a guy was a true Alpha male, one woman would not be enough. You want a guy to kind of walk the line, so to speak. Its a really difficult thing to do, and I think some people should re-evaluate what they are looking for and what they are offering. If youre looking for more than you are offering, youre asking for dissapointment.

[949GuitarDude]

Hi LS,

 

I have noticed that so called men these day are more and more acting like they are the women in relationship. Let me explain

 

 

i notice that if a man is dating a woman and she gets upset about something he did or said....the guy will....stop talking to her for a while or...get upset because she mentioned it....even if she did it nicely. He just wants her to shut up and deal with the bul/s on her own.

 

I another thing I notice is that guys want you to take them out and will ask you ....when are you talking me out or you buying me lunch?

 

It is strange. It is like they are the prize and we are lucky to have them.

 

Is it me? or are guys starting to act like b/tches in relationships these days

 

hell I want to write a book called..."Thinking you a man, Acting like a b/tch"

 

I couldn't agree more!!! This is genius.

[949GuitarDude]

No, I love men. What I think has changed men is that alot of women have been raising boys by themselves and nowadays guys are different. They act like women

 

This is very true. It's our whole society though. You can see a microcosm of it in the NFL. The league has been vaginated. I tune in to see guys get laid out, but we can't have that anymore.

 

It used to be James Dean, now it's Brad Pitt. The latter is just so feminine.

[949GuitarDude]

I’m sure feminism started with (and still has) good intentions. Intentions don't really matter, though, it's the results that count. It's hard to deny some of the results have negatively affected men.

 

I couldn't agree more.

[949GuitarDude]

Well said, Sam Spade.

 

I don't think women don't know what they want - just that what they SAY they want and what they want are incongruous. A lot of weak men listen to what women say they want.

 

A man has to be his own man regardless of whether a woman wants to come along for the ride. The moment he gets needy, he becomes feminine.

 

Unfortunately, there are also a lot of women out there who are penis-less males. I want a woman who is feminine, too, so I have to sift through a lot of bitchy women to get to the quality ones.

 

If it's true that as California goes, so goes the rest of the country/world...you'll find that the penis-less males are fewer and further between.

[Trialbyfire]

Ive known a lot of guys like that, and you know what? They rarely get dumped and usually get what they want from women. So really, who is to blame for this behavior? Its kind of a combination of both sexes

If you admire a callous, uncaring individual who uses people, that's your choice. I don't. I see a man like this as not a man but a boy, afraid to get hurt.

 

What I see a lot these days is women wanting to have their cake and eat it too. They want a guy to make all the moves, make all the plans, pay for everything, go on their schedule, and the only thing they offer in return is the possibility of sex. This 'equality' that women have asked for has backfired. You cant have it both ways, either you want an old fashioned relationship, or you accept a more modern approach to dating.

I don't expect the above except for the pursuit portion. What generates interest in me, is interest, amongst other things. That doesn't mean I'm exactly like all other women and truth be told, you're not like all other men.

As far was why guys are more hesitant to ask girls out, trust me, put yourself in a guys shoes for a night out and youll see. Not only is it the rejection, but the fact that there is some really nasty people out there, who will use you for whatever they can get and walk away without a second thought. Guys do it, too, Im sure, but then theyre branded as jerks that just want some booty.

Horrendous individuals aren't something new. They've been around since time began.

 

If a guy was a true Alpha male, one woman would not be enough. You want a guy to kind of walk the line, so to speak. Its a really difficult thing to do, and I think some people should re-evaluate what they are looking for and what they are offering. If youre looking for more than you are offering, youre asking for dissapointment.

Actually, the bolded statement can be true for all manner of men, whether alpha, beta, theta or anything. Alpha is not synonymous with selfish or jerk or non-monogamous. It's like saying that all nice guys are nice, where the opposite holds true.

[BCCA]

If you admire a callous, uncaring individual who uses people, that's your choice. I don't. I see a man like this as not a man but a boy, afraid to get hurt.

 

I didnt say anything about admiring anyone. I just pointed out that you cant argue with the results. This is the basis for every pick up artist book seminar out there, belittle women to make yourself seem better and therefore, more deseriable. Personally, Im a good person, and Im not going to comprimise that to impress someone, but again - guys do it AND it works, so what can you say?

 

I don't expect the above except for the pursuit portion. What generates interest in me, is interest, amongst other things. That doesn't mean I'm exactly like all other women and truth be told, you're not like all other men.

 

I agree. I just want to add that this thread was basically complaining about guys being 'girls', which I take issue with.

 

Actually, the bolded statement can be true for all manner of men, whether alpha, beta, theta or anything

 

The jerk part, sure, but an alpha male, by definition, is not one that would settle down with one woman.

[Sam Spade]

It used to be James Dean, now it's Brad Pitt. The latter is just so feminine.

 

The new generation is screwed - now that DeNiro and Pacino are finally very, very old, there is nobody credible to fill the void.

Maybe Clive Owen, kinda, if he wasn't such a horrible actor.

The role models for the opposite sex aren't helping either - I would never hit a woman, but then again - the bitchezz on the Sex in the City make me want to destroy my TV.

[clv0116]

I agree. I just want to add that this thread was basically complaining about guys being 'girls', which I take issue with.

 

Well girls have been acting like guys for a long time now. Welcome to the feminist dream. Enjoy your stay ladies.

[Trialbyfire]

I didnt say anything about admiring anyone. I just pointed out that you cant argue with the results. This is the basis for every pick up artist book seminar out there, belittle women to make yourself seem better and therefore, more deseriable. Personally, Im a good person, and Im not going to comprimise that to impress someone, but again - guys do it AND it works, so what can you say?

What's your definition of what works? Hit and run? Hopefully not because that sounds like a shallow and emotional coward.

 

The jerk part, sure, but an alpha male, by definition, is not one that would settle down with one woman.

You'll find there are more than enough alphas who settle down with "one" alpha female.

 

There seems to be some confusion that alphas are always hit and run, shallow and emotional cowards. Not all alphas are non-monogamous or jerks. Sure, there are some who are. Just like there are more than enough betas who are just as shallow and emotional cowards.

[385]

This is actually interesting. Feminism is all about women gaining equality and therefore power. But power is a balance thing, so in order for women to gain power, someone has to lose power - so men have to lose power.

 

I don't know what's news here. Isn't that a good thing instead of a problem for you ladies?

[fral945]

Is it all about what feminism has done or is it about holding onto victimhood? It's [insert stereotypical group of people you want to blame] everyone else's fault...

 

I don't blame feminism for all men's problems or take the victim mentality, FWIW. But mindset doesn’t change reality. Do you really think if feminism didn't exist that women would still be complaining about men acting like women? A number of the feminist ideals pushed me to be less masculine because I thought women were telling me what they really wanted and I could be better than the average man and be more appealing to women. After all, what man or women doesn’t at one time or another want to be appealing to the opposite sex? All that got me were women telling me how nice I was and how great a guy I was, but going for my friends who basically ignored all that advice and behaved like men.

 

Posting on here and reading the posts by women has only affirmed my belief in that.

 

Why not just make your own way through life?

 

I always have. I just wasn't born knowing how to deal with women. No one taught me how different you are.

 

If only women came with an instruction manual.

[385]

Like that one guy said - you are probably meeting a lot of liberal, metro, males. As the country becomes more and more liberal - which tends to mean more open minded, many guys will naturally become softer - because now the media is saying "it's ok to have feelings, it's ok to show the feminine side of you, etc..." And frankly, it's easier to be soft than tough because it takes less effort and confidence.

 

Instead of guys who have more traditional views, you now have guys who would rather listen to Dave Matthews than AC/DC.

 

But personally I think this is more common in the cities and up north. Come to Texas or the south, and I'm sure you will find more guys with traditionalist views on relationships.

[Trialbyfire]

I don't blame feminism for all men's problems or take the victim mentality, FWIW. But mindset doesn’t change reality. Do you really think if feminism didn't exist that women would still be complaining about men acting like women? A number of the feminist ideals pushed me to be less masculine because I thought women were telling me what they really wanted and I could be better than the average man and be more appealing to women. After all, what man or women doesn’t at one time or another want to be appealing to the opposite sex? All that got me were women telling me how nice I was and how great a guy I was, but going for my friends who basically ignored all that advice and behaved like men.

Actually, there have always been male whiners throughout time!

 

As for being unappealing, women tend to see through an act, whether it's at the beginning or partway into a relationship. No one can pretend to be someone they're not, for any great length of time, except for psychopaths or sociopaths.

 

Posting on here and reading the posts by women has only affirmed my belief in that.

That's because you've found a well-spring of bitter and cynical men, trying to work through the pain of break up. It's not reality. It's just LS and all the pain that's on here.

 

One example of the unrealism of LS, is that only on LS, will you find people enabling dysfunctional and unprofessional behaviours in the work place.

 

I always have.

Refer to your first paragraph on your post. It appears that you didn't always do that, attempting to be someone you weren't, potentially misinterpreting female cues.

 

I just wasn't born knowing how to deal with women. No one taught me how different you are.

 

If only women came with an instruction manual.

It's not a matter of dealing with anyone. It's a matter of being yourself, being true to yourself and being confident in yourself. It's also a matter of a lack of victimhood, blaming stereotypical groups or genders for life's woes. If it ain't working for you, change it.

[Sam Spade]

I don't blame feminism for all men's problems or take the victim mentality, FWIW. But mindset doesn’t change reality. Do you really think if feminism didn't exist that women would still be complaining about men acting like women? A number of the feminist ideals pushed me to be less masculine because I thought women were telling me what they really wanted and I could be better than the average man and be more appealing to women. After all, what man or women doesn’t at one time or another want to be appealing to the opposite sex? All that got me were women telling me how nice I was and how great a guy I was, but going for my friends who basically ignored all that advice and behaved like men.

 

Posting on here and reading the posts by women has only affirmed my belief in that.

 

That's all there is to it. No cynicism or victimhood, just acumulating experiences and observing what works and what doesn't. If stopping trying to impress women and letting them impress me instead means that I'm an insensitive jerk, then I'm proud of it.

 

Whether you're a good man with good motives or shallow uncaring bastard doesn't matter initially - both good and bad guys can exhibit the same type of behavior, and it is a fact that some patterns of behavior work with women, some don't. So, regardless of your underlying motivations, you'd be an idiot not to stick with what works. If you want a relatoinship after bagging a girl also doesn't matter initially. You need to get a 'foot in the door', and then either run, or focus on building a relationship, depending on whether the girl is worth it. But, the exact same 'rules' apply. The only difference is what purpose you use them for.

[samspade]

It used to be James Dean, now it's Brad Pitt. The latter is just so feminine.

 

That's true, but you have to consider the average age of the movie-going female has dropped in the past 50-60 years. Tenny-bopping girls are more into feminine men like Pitt and Orlando Bloom, at least in cinema.

 

That said, I don't think the rugged manly type will ever go out of style.

 

In any event, I've taken inventory of my own traits, and I can always pinpoint when my behavior toward a woman I'm dating may have turned feminine and drove her away. I do it less now, but it IS something you can change. Men too often turn into wussbags when they're dating women.

[rlindzie]

going back to the alph thing. Alpha is the best ,the top dog. And the best does the best, not the most ,for that would be weak and cause a multitude of problems the alpha would not want. If you are indeed the alpha you have a greater understanding of things and the most self control and dedication. and thoes take emense strength. Alpha is the best, and a man who is the best will make the best decisions for him and the well being of his family, we all know cheating around destroys the family and is one of the ulitmate signs of weakness in a person. that would be very anit-alpha.

 

as for the feminist thing. If you actualy look into what femanist do it is to give women equal rights as far as law is concerned. If there was no feminsts there would be no womens voteing, planned parenthood, no medical care for the unborn, no maternity/paternity leave, no equal wages for equal jobs done by women, and so much more that has been over looked and taken for granted. it is not to take the role of a man in a relationship away. i belive men and women are diffrent and God gave us diffrent rolels in marrige. that is not to say one is better and one is worse they are just diffrent. Like apples are diffrent from oranges but they are still both fruit. It is ignorant to say " well ladies this is what you asked for whane you wanted equal right" do your homework. this issue has not a thing to do with equal rights.

[Sam Spade]

That's true, but you have to consider the average age of the movie-going female has dropped in the past 50-60 years. Tenny-bopping girls are more into feminine men like Pitt and Orlando Bloom, at least in cinema.

 

That said, I don't think the rugged manly type will ever go out of style.

 

In any event, I've taken inventory of my own traits, and I can always pinpoint when my behavior toward a woman I'm dating may have turned feminine and drove her away. I do it less now, but it IS something you can change. Men too often turn into wussbags when they're dating women.

 

 

(This is becoming a bit schisofrenic due to the avatar situation,) but I agree: I need to actively stop myself from being as sweet as caring as I'd want to be, because I know that if I don't restrain myself, the consequences will be the "i love you, but I'm not in love with you" speech, or some similar crap. It is unfortunate, but this is not some evil scheming, just learning from experience. The bottom line is that you can't ever become comfortable and completely open with a woman. This is not how I want it to be, but obviously this is how it has to be, if we are to talk about stable relationships. Basically, you can't let love get in the way of appropriate manners, rituals, broadly speaking.

[isoleaf]

Well girls have been acting like guys for a long time now. Welcome to the feminist dream. Enjoy your stay ladies.

 

exactly.

 

women have been acting more like men and have been telling men to act more like women while telling other women to act more like men while yelling at men to act more like... men?

 

women want to take the benefits of being the man AND the woman and then cry about how they have to do all the work and how they just want a man to "take care of them."

 

wasn't there a whole struggle about how being a housewife is bad for feminism and all that stuff or somethin...? lol

 

o womyn. way to shamelessly parade around your idiocy.

 

don't get me wrong, men are idiots too. but i find men are faarrrr more willing to admit this fact. not only this but they don't project it onto your sex and even if they did, they'd be right because listening to women is what got that man there. trust me, they didn't learn how to be a woman by listening to other men.

 

if you're wondering why men are acting more like women these days, just think back to every piece of advice you've ever given a man/boy and imagine that every woman in america gives the exact same advice because they do. women think they want to be in a power position, and now that you are, you're all backpedaling asking for the men to take on the male gender role without realizing that you didn't want to be in the male gender role IN THE FIRST PLACE. you just wanted to be empowered while still within the female role.

 

who says men don't know how to listen? lol

 

this annoys me because i AM a feminist (albeit a male one) and all it does is reinfoce the chauvinistic idea that women don't know what they want.

 

STOP MAKING YOURSELVES LOOK SO BAD.

 

women: stop advising men as if you know how to be a better man than a man. leave it to men to tell men how to be men. otherwise, your men will turn out to be women. make sense?

[fral945]

Refer to your first paragraph on your post. It appears that you didn't always do that, attempting to be someone you weren't, potentially misinterpreting female cues.

 

Of course, I (like almost any other human being on earth) was once young and inexperienced. Some things I do to attract women came naturally, but many behaviors are only taught, learned, and developed with trial and error. If being yourself means you've gone through life without ever having done anything out of character or modified behaviors to appease the opposite sex then I'm guilty as charged.

 

So you've never tried (at one time in your life) to do something or changed/modified your behaviors to appeal to a certain man? As a young teenage girl, I'm guessing you were just as rational as you are now?

 

I would imagine that even you were young and dumb at one time.

[wuggle]

You'll find there are more than enough alphas who settle down with "one" alpha female.

 

There seems to be some confusion that alphas are always hit and run, shallow and emotional cowards. Not all alphas are non-monogamous or jerks. Sure, there are some who are. Just like there are more than enough betas who are just as shallow and emotional cowards.

 

Is there actually a definition of what an 'Alpha Male' is that is agreed by the scientific & psychological community ? IMO you are putting forward your opininions of what an 'Alpha Male' is as fact.

 

Again IMO you never really know who is an 'Alpha Male' until the sh*t hits the fan and they are really tested, Often the most confident of men, those that appear at first to be 'Alpha' turn to mush when the going gets tough. Was M.K.Ghandi an Alpha male ? No ? Stood up to the entire British empire and won, yet on the surface he was a shy retireing little man.

 

Likewise maybe the OP is confusing true strength and masculinity with a bullish outwardly display of manhood. IMO many of the most 'Manly' or 'Alpha' males are those that can initially come across as not so, partly due to the fact that they are more balanced and less egotistical. Few large egos are built on solid ground.

[Trialbyfire]

Of course, I (like almost any other human being on earth) was once young and inexperienced. Some things I do to attract women came naturally, but many behaviors are only taught, learned, and developed with trial and error. If being yourself means you've gone through life without ever having done anything out of character or modified behaviors to appease the opposite sex then I'm guilty as charged.

 

So you've never tried (at one time in your life) to do something or changed/modified your behaviors to appeal to a certain man? As a young teenage girl, I'm guessing you were just as rational as you are now?

 

I would imagine that even you were young and dumb at one time.

I won't deny that I did stupid things as a teenager. But...not being myself wasn't one of them.

 

Where I modify my behaviour is within the professional world. I've always known not to call someone a retard or moron, even if I felt like it!

[Sam Spade]

Of course, I (like almost any other human being on earth) was once young and inexperienced. Some things I do to attract women came naturally, but many behaviors are only taught, learned, and developed with trial and error. If being yourself means you've gone through life without ever having done anything out of character or modified behaviors to appease the opposite sex then I'm guilty as charged.

 

So you've never tried (at one time in your life) to do something or changed/modified your behaviors to appeal to a certain man? As a young teenage girl, I'm guessing you were just as rational as you are now?

 

I would imagine that even you were young and dumb at one time.

 

Yes, the notion that you should "be yourself" or that you "if you gotta ask you ain't got it" is ridiculous.

 

I believe that the most important thing that defines me as a man is precisely the long way I've come from being young and inexperienced puppy, to a mature guy who has learned a lot though experience, reflection, and selectively learning from role models. I change, because I want to be a better me in every respect and I will continue to learn and to change until the day I die, so if others would like to call this me not being who I am, that would be absurd.

[BCCA]

What's your definition of what works? Hit and run? Hopefully not because that sounds like a shallow and emotional coward.

 

You keep going straight to sex. Women always do this, any tactic that men use that works for getting their attention = they just hit it and run. Let us not forget who lets them hit it in the first place. Also, you keep saying things as though its what I'm doing, when I've told you a few times now its not my style.

 

'Works' = gets women's attention, and keeps it. You have to admit, there are a lot of women out there that fall for this macho, Im better than you, crap. We are not all the same, of course, and you seem to be wise enough to see through this nonesense. Many women arent.

 

Im wondering how you define an alpha. Being confident and sure of yourself are not the only characteristics, but perhaps we're splitting hairs. I think I understand what you mean.

[Trialbyfire]

You keep going straight to sex. Women always do this, any tactic that men use that works for getting their attention = they just hit it and run. Let us not forget who lets them hit it in the first place.

, true to the bolded statement! We allow people to treat us, the way they do. If someone isn't treating you right, find someone who will treat you with the respect you deserve.

 

Also, you keep saying things as though its what I'm doing, when I've told you a few times now its not my style.

 

'Works' = gets women's attention, and keeps it. You have to admit, there are a lot of women out there that fall for this macho, Im better than you, crap. We are not all the same, of course, and you seem to be wise enough to see through this nonesense. Many women arent.

Okay, now that you've defined "works", I get it. Sure, some women do initially fall for it but sooner or later, they realize that it's just a front for low self-esteem.

 

I don't know if I'm wise but have learned something through personal experience. If it talks like a man but actions say he's an emotional coward, the latter holds true.

 

I'm sure you feel the same way about women. If she talks the talk but can't walk the walk, she's a fake.

 

Im wondering how you define an alpha. Being confident and sure of yourself are not the only characteristics, but perhaps we're splitting hairs. I think I understand what you mean.

It sounds like a difference in terminology, more than anything else. My definition of alpha, is a man who's got it together and isn't afraid to be himself. A leader by example.